Get Your Head In The Game - Spectator Sports and Liturgy

"Life is not a spectator sport.

If watchin' is all you're going to do, then

you're going to watch your life go by

with you."

- "The Hunchback of Notre Dame

    

    My last first week of school just happened. While that means there was an awful amount of mixed emotion tears from happiness to bittersweetness to simply being an emotional woman and lots of answering the same question: what are your plans for after graduation? Of course, in the first few days, I contemplated giving a different answer every time to see how many people caught on, but I decided against it for my own sanity. And so, the first week of school, which has often been referred to as syllabus week, is over and done with. I printed out all of my syllabi, marked up my planner with events and due dates, and answered the infamous ice breaker questions on those first days of classes.

   I've always loved ice breakers. I love games and getting to know people. I literally fall on the line between intro and extrovert, so I can get really deep during ice breakers but also do so with great enthusiasm. I love ice breakers that force you to take a risk and sometimes it's the questionnaire type that force you to take more of a risk than the trust ice breakers. I realized that greatly this week during my Sacraments class (fun fact: I'm only taking English and Theology classes this semester...my life rocks). 

    Sister Annette put us into groups (I'm part of the green group) and had us answer a bunch of questions within our group. One of the first questions was: what is your favorite sport? why? do you participate in this sport? Well, in addition to having my last semester as an undergrad on my mind, I've always had the Olympics on my mind. It's a little bit of a secret that I keep: I love watching the Olympics. So, when I answered the question I said: figure skating. Any type of figure skating. Just let it be known that ever since I was young, Michelle Kwan has been my hero. I love figure skating for the elegance it provides the viewer and the beauty it allows me to feel when my skates hit the ice. The combination of classical music and fancy doubles and triples makes my soul feel like it's infinite. Of course, have you seen "Ice Princess?" I totally understand what Casey goes through every time she goes out on the ice. It's like going into your own little bubble of beauty and elegance. 

     I spoke about the elegance of figure skating at length and finally answered that I love going ice skating, even by myself...actually it's better when I'm by myself because then I don't have to panic every time my siblings face plant on the ice. I can skate pretty fast, but I still have a panic attack. This also happens everytime my Dad races past me thinking he's playing ice hockey again. But anyway there's something about watching figure skating but then also there's something even more beautiful about my skates touching the ice. I feel elegant, beautiful and loved. 

     I was thinking of all of this when Sister Annette began talking about Liturgy as a Spectator Sport. She spoke about how so often the congregation comes together for worship in church and simply just watch. Have you noticed how no one but the cantor sings? Sometimes the lector is lucky if anyone responds. Of course, I've also witnessed the Extraordinary Ministers and Priests who literally wait for an Amen before ministering Holy Communion. It's as if, we faithful have come to watch our favorite sport. Yet, when one watches sports, often there is an engagement. At Mass, sometimes, there isn't even a "wow, that was an awesome move." Sister reminded us that the Liturgy was not created to be a spectator sport. We aren't called to don our favorite "God's team" jersey, sit in a pew and watch. Liturgy isn't meant to be watched but rather participated in. We are called to fully participate in the Mass AND here's the clincher....life post-Mass. Remember how the priest/deacon/bishop/archbish/pope says "Go in peace to serve the Lord?" HEY MAN you know what that means?! EXTRA INNINGS! Play on team, play on for days!
     Okay so maybe I sound a bit outrageous, but let's think about it for a second. Let's go back to my love for ice skating. When I watch ice skating, I can see and feel and hear the beauty and elegance with every glide of the skate upon the ice. I am overwhelmed simply by watching the beautiful sport. Maybe some of you feel the same way about basketball, football, curling, bobsledding, swimming, etc. You can watch the sport and feel overwhelmed by the greatness of the sport. As if that wasn't enough for me, I lace up my skates and glide out on my local ice rink, feeling the rhythm of every stride. When I get out on the ice, I instantly feel the emotions I experience while watching times one hundred and one. I immediately feel so much more elegant, so much more beauty, so much more everything. Now, let's apply this to Liturgy.
     It might be a stretch saying that showing up for church excites you as much as watching your favorite sport. But let's just say that sitting in your favorite pew, listening to the music and the readings and watching the priests preside during Mass is a beautiful experience for you. For me, this is true. I can sit in church, meditate, pray and witness the beauty of the Mass. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the beauty, but more times than not it becomes monotonous. So then, I allow myself to participate instead of just spectate. Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by God's goodness and beauty. Suddenly, I'm in the game and I am experiencing God on a whole new level.
     In today's day and age, Mass, Liturgy and even worship has seemingly been reduced to a spectator sport. We show up for the game, sit in our pew and watch. We don't sing, we don't respond, we don't really know what's going on. Whose team are we even on? We aren't called to this because there is more to life, more to worship than just showing up. Ice skating is so much more beautiful when you, yourself, lace up the skates and get out on the ice. Liturgy is so much more meaningful when we participate. God didn't design Liturgy and worship as a spectator sport, so why are we treating them as such. Lovebugs, let's take some advice from High School Musical's team, the wildcats, "Get Your Head In The Game." Let's go friends, lace up your skates, put on your uniform, it's time to play for God's team. So tomorrow, don't just show up and watch, participate. You got this. Teamwork is great, isn't it?

Also, shout out to Sister Annette for inspiring the writer in me for what I am sure is the first time of many this semester.

She Said Yes - Nun Wedding Take Two

"Thus says the Lord:

Here is my servant whom I uphold, 

my chosen one with whom I am well pleased, 

upon whom I have placed my spirit."

- Isaiah 42: 1-2

Photo Credit: Sister Angela Szczawinska, CSFN

    It's the second semester of the school year; my last semester as an undergrad. I moved back into my dorm room on Thursday morning and spent the day appropriately for a Senior. I wondered the campus visiting the sisters, having coffee  in the caf, hanging out in offices and of course, seeing all my friends after being separated from them for three weeks. Oh, class, you ask. I don't have class on Thursdays or Fridays. I continued the appropriate journey of my first day back as a second semester senior by visiting the Motherhouse and surprising the sisters and then going back to school to hangout in my friend's room until the odd hours of the night. I woke up early the next morning, headed to Mass and then I was on my way to the train station, barely having been on campus no more than 24 hours.

    It was time for the second adventure of the year 2014 (the first, having been New Orleans): Chicago. I have made a yearly visit to Chicago (truly, Des Plaines) for the past three years. While all of those times were special, this was an extremely special time. Finally, Sister Gabriela would be making final vows and I would be blessed to witness it. So, I boarded the train like a big girl, headed to the airport, printed out my ticket, passed through security and then waited in the terminal.
    As I was waiting to board, not only did my twin friends show up (we were taking the same flight), but I also made friends with an English teacher because I was reading a book. It amazes me how many friends I can make simply by being open to the Christ in others. I was reading a book and she was impressed, because no one reads books anymore. So then we shared stories and I told her how I am becoming a high school English teacher. It was nice and I knew then, that my journey to the Midwest was definitely going to be an eventful one.
    We landed in Chicago in the early afternoon and headed to the convent while catching up on life with Sister Sandie and Sister Lucille. Upon arriving, we were greeted by so many various sisters all over the house. There was a hustle and bustle just because "the girls were finally here safe." All the sisters were worried that our flight would be delayed or cancelled. But we made it. After supper, we all hurried around the dining room excitedly as we set the tables for the big celebration on Sunday. I've never quite counted that many forks and knives, but at least I got to do so with Sister Clare Marie. Then, of course, we had our informal game playing and catching up with a few sisters before bed. To our big surprise, the bride-to-be was home early from her retreat and thank God, because as only it can be in the Midwest, the winter weather was miserable.
     The next day was spent doing all types of crazy things. We started off with Mass and then breakfast with Sister Sandie and Sister Lucille's unit (while they live in one big house, there are different branches of the building and so the sisters live in both small and large community). We had choir practice (yes, we were assumed into the choir as honorary good voices), went on a crazy adventure during which I got to navigate Little Blue through Des Plaines and visit the United Nations' Shop'N'Save, and got to spend some teatime with the Novices and one of my best friends, Sister David. In the afternoon, we were busied with baking cookies and salad for the Bridal Shower. As always, however, I was stolen away from our little group to do various little decorating things because, and I quote, "Becca's creative. She can help you." It was a choice between two of my favorite things: baking and decorating. Of course, it was a bulletin board that needed decorating and the teacher in me got super excited.
     Finally, after all our preparing, the party could begin. We celebrated the bride-to-be with laughter, conversation and pizza from Mugs. Of course conversations always spill around jokingly, hypothetically all of us becoming sisters. We joked about picking religious names or having them picked for us. For example, apparently I'd make a good Sister Rafaela because I have long, curly hair like an angel. Another suggestion was Sister Heliodora which is polish for sunflower. Both are accurate. But of course, my name Rebecca means so much. The other girls we dubbed with some slightly more serious names like "faith, hope and love." We heard many stories and laughed so much. Blessed Frances Siedliska, their foundress, even made an appearance. Let me tell you how cool that was! Very! We ended the party by singing along to some songs such as "hakuna matata," "my God," "Oh Happy Day," and "So Long, Farewell." Of course, we also listened to one of Sister Gabriela's favorite songs and immediately, I was brought to tears almost immediately as the sisters sang along as a blessing over Sister Gabriela.
     Anyone who knows me, knows I don't do the tears in public thing. So, after we sent Sister "off to bed," I sought out my dear Sister David and told her she had to hug me so I wouldn't be embarrassed crying. She laughed and hugged me. It had been months since I had seen her and even longer since I had cried with her. We cleared up the room and then headed upstairs to the community room to have a chat. We sat down and had a long overdue heart to heart about making decisions and celebrating Senior year. She reassured me that no matter what decision I make, she will always be there to love me! I felt peace and tears of overwhelming happiness. Then after getting figuratively murdered multiple times by the general councilor in some wicked games of Mafia, we headed to bed. The next day was a big day.
     We woke early for breakfast at 8:30 and spent the morning enjoying the hustle and bustle of the wedding. At one point, I found myself in the Chapel praying morning prayer but soon crying again. I admit it, I was a blubbering mess most of the weekend. That's what happens when one is in love with Jesus and He reminds you often. A few of the Polish sisters suddenly started singing the most beautiful composition of Psalm 45 I had ever heard. It was in Polish and yet, it still spoke to my heart. Sister Clare Marie came over to me, and seeing that I was tearing up, patted my cheek and said, "Jesus loves you, how could He not?" I smiled and hugged her then went back to my prayer.
     Before we knew it, it was time for the wedding to take place. Everything seemed perfect for the day. The readings were perfect, the music was perfect, the people were perfect. Of course, the blubbering baby in me came out during the Mass so many times. Like when Sister Gabriela prostrated before the altar as we sang the Litany of the Saints. And when she received her ring. And when the sisters stood to accept her as a new full member of their community. And when Mother Jana accepted her vows. And when she spoke to her parents, thanking them, in Polish, even though they were watching from Poland. And of course, when she so beautifully smiled the entire time. Wow, what a witness to be able to watch a beautiful bride make her eternal vows to her infinite Love. And also to be surrounded by so many other beautiful Brides of Christ. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful.
     We continued to celebrate by a beautiful lunch and then after the party departed, bustling around, staying busily giddy about the wedding as only young (and young at heart) women can. I even bumped into Sister Barbara Jean (after scaring her half to death) and had a little chat with her. Of course, my favorite part of the conversation was when she asked if I had a boyfriend and I laughed. She then told me she was serious and I answered very seriously in return, "Yes. Jesus." I left her by saying, "Goodbye, Mother" as she was the one who dressed as Blessed Frances the night before and she sent me off with a blessing: "Be good, daughter."
     Then, before we knew it, we were on the airplane on the way home. Of course, this was after Sister David was panicking that we would miss our flight and then being delayed an hour. Even though we were delayed, I still had to give Sister (mother) a call to let her know I arrived safe and sound in Philly. I have so many moms..and I love it.
      As my best friends drove me home, I couldn't help be share so many stories with them. And thank God they accept me for who I am, completely in love with Jesus and all. I reflected on all the tears, all the smiles, all the laughter. I thanked God once again for allowing me to witness yet another beautiful Nun Wedding. Of course, I thanked God for asking me to be His eventual bride forever. And honestly, I can't wait. Eventually there will be a blog post titled "My Own Nun Wedding" but all in God's good time. Oh Jesus, how I love You so much. And Sister Gabriela, thank you, not only for letting me witness your final vows, but also for being my friend, my sister AND introducing me to the song "Everyday God" so that I can sob every time I hear it. Kochem cie, Siostra. Dziekuje.

 

New Year's Resolutions in New Orleans

"Don't you just love those long, rainy afternoons

in New Orleans when an hour isn't just an hour - 

but a little piece of eternity dropped into your hands - 

and who knows what to do with it then?"

- Tennessee Williams, "A Streetcar Names Desire"

    As some of you may know, I recently got back from my fourth tour in New Orleans, a place that always has a HUGE piece of my heart. Going back this time, I expected to see my old friends, familiar faces and places, and experience a lot of the same things I had experienced the past three visits save for the warm weather of my new May trips. All of that happened, but so did so much more. I was blessed to have gone with some of my very best friends. I was even more blessed to make a bunch of new friends. I was blessed to be welcomed home by my NOLA family at Corpus Christi. But I was also blessed my many surprises. One of which, I still am having a hard time fathoming as reality. 

    On New Years Day, since it was an off day for the SBP crew, our IU work crew headed into the French Quarter for the day. We started out with Mass at the Cathedral which was beautiful. As I was sitting there, waiting for Mass to begin, three sisters walked in. Jokingly, my friends look down the pew and go, "Hey Becca, Nuns." Thanks, guys. But in all reality, my nunsenses had been going off and I already saw them. One of my friends, who had just pointed out the obvious, then asked, "What community are they?" "Daughters of Charity," I answered without skipping a beat. They laughed in disbelief but I just knew they were the DCs. So, after Mass, I went up to the three sisters, one of whom looked oddly familiar to me. I asked them what community they were and when they said, "Daughters of Charity," I childishly turned around and stuck out my tongue. I was right.

     Sister Ellen began asking me questions like where I was from, who I was, what was I doing in New Orleans during my Winter Break, etc. As I was answering her questions, the sister on my right, Sister Salvatrice, listened diligently. Finally she asked if I was Becca Gutherman and if I had gone to a FOCUS conference three years ago in Baltimore. Blown away, I answered yes, not knowing what was going to come next. She then told me that I had had a conversation with her about discernment at the conference, after which, she wrote my name down on a piece of paper and stuck it in her office book. She had been praying for me every day since the day I met her. With tears in my eyes, I hugged her and thanked her. Sister Ellen then took our picture and I made her promise to send it to me when she got the chance. I got the picture this morning!

      As soon as I walked out of the Cathedral, I called my go-to processor, you know, the one who helps me process all things nun-related that are gifts from God, Kristie. I told her the story and she reminded me that the day I was coming home was St. Elizabeth Ann Seton's feast day, the saint who founded the sisters here in the USA. Wow. Just wow. After ending the call, I began to truly reflect on what had just happened to me. 

     The priest at Mass had said that instead of making New Year's Resolutions, we should make New Year's petitions. I really loved what he said so much that I started taking notes on an empty church offering envelope. He said that resolutions are often broken, but petitions are something we do because we are broken. He said that resolutions are people centered and that petitions are God-centered. He urged us to make New Year's Petitions instead of Resolutions. So, I did. I started with petitioning for my family, my friends and my nunnies. Then I asked for one specific petition: confirmations of my vocation. Well, God, as the funny guy He is, assured me that He would continue to answer this petition by giving me the gift of the Daughters of Charity, in particular, Sister Salvatrice. I am astonished by how many people tell me they are praying for me. I am sure that many I do not know are praying for me. But what amazed me so greatly was that meeting Sister Salvatrice was a blur in my memory. Yet, she remembered me. She remembers me every day in prayer and has, by name, since the day I met her. It still gives me the goosebumps.

     My first trip to New Orleans back in May 2011, a few months after I had met Sister Salvatrice, I was sitting in the French Market with my friends on a Saturday afternoon. As we were all taking bites of Gator, two Sisters walked down the center of the market. I happened to turn at the right moment and one of the sisters caught my glance. Without saying anything, she started her way to our table of IU friends. She put a hand on my shoulder and began a casual conversation with us. As she was leaving, she patted my shoulder and said, "I'll be praying for you, sunshine. You'll make the right choice." At that time, I was in a serious doubt of my vocation to religious life. But at that moment, God sent me another sign, another confirmation that I am truly called to this life. I never heard from or saw those sisters again, but I think about them often. 

      It blows my mind how God had started my journeys to New Orleans with the sisters down there confirming my vocation and then ending them with the same. It didn't hit me until Friday night, when I was out talking with Miss Monique and her mom that it would be my last trip to New Orleans as an IU Undergraduate. It made my heart smile from all the good that I have experienced here but also so sad to be leaving a place I love so much. I know I'll be back but in that moment it felt as if I would be leaving for good. That's when I made another New Year's petition: Dear God, please bring me back to these people who I love so much and protect them until I can return. He may not answer it this week, this month or maybe even this year, but I know one day, I'll be back in the city I love so much with the people I love so much! I cant thank God enough for all the miracles He gave me this past week. He is such a charmer!

My NOLA reflection song