Prom Princess - An Open Letter to High School Senior Girls on the Night of the their Prom

"Keep your head up, Princess, 

don't let the crown fall."

- anonymous 

 

My Dear Sister, 

Tonight is one of the biggest nights of your life so far and you are bursting to the seams with excitement. I can't blame you; being pampered at the hair salon, nail salon, and make-up salon feels great. You have your entire day mapped out: hair at 1:00, nails at 2:00, make-up at 3:00, pictures at a different place each half hour and finally, the limo pick-up. You woke up this morning in your "natural state" and may have gone to school the most relaxed ever, or you slept in because you didn't have school. Regardless, you let yourself be vulnerable by walking out the door literally looking like you just woke up...because you probably did. And let me tell you, even then you were beautiful. 

You will look absolutely stunning and perhaps, you will be so dolled up that no one will recognize you right away. Your dress will be the perfect color and everything will match from the shoes to the clutch to the flowers even down to the little colored line under your french manicure. What might not match will be your dates' ties or vests, but hey, boys will be boys, right? Your pictures will be an entire fan fair and you will love it. Your older sister will make you do every pose possible so that the perfect pictures come out and you will get frustrated but hey, she does it out of love. She may have skipped school or left work early to be there for you, so let her gush over you. You're best friends; don't forget that. 

As your older sister in Christ, I want to tell you a few things. The boys might not notice how perfect your hair or make-up or nails are, but there is one man in your life that will: your Daddy. Daddy might get a little teary-eyed when he watches you walk down the stairs with your complete get up. He will experience so many flashbacks to the other times when you wore a beautiful dress like your  grade school graduation, your First Communion, and even as far back as your baptism. He will also experience some glimmers into your future as he might imagine how you'll look in your wedding dress. He'll tell you how beautiful you look in that given moment and he'll want to wrap his arms around you like he used to. Don't let the fear of dad's hug crushing your flowers keep you from hugging him. He loves you so much and he wants you to have the most beautiful night, because you are his little girl. You were first his princess.

Mom will think the same things but she'll probably be gushing over your loose dress straps, the dirt on the bottom of your high heels because you walked in the grass, and the one tiny strand of hair that may or may not be out of place. She will try to perfect your outfit a hundred times before the first photo shoot. Let her. In her busy way, she is telling you that she can't believe you've grown up so quickly. She will remember holding you in your little dresses and taking pictures of you wearing Mommy's high heels that were way too big for your two year old feet. She will want everything for your night to be perfect because she knows that the adult reality isn't perfect. She wants to keep everything perfect for as long as she can because pretty soon, you will be moving away from home. You're not a little girl anymore and she knows that. She loves the young woman you have become. But remember, you were first her princess.

Your young Sister will gaze at you in awe. She idolizes you and thinks you are the prettiest, best big Sister in the world. She probably wanted to be right next to you as your got your hair, nails and make-up done, because she's in a rush to grow up to be just like you. Let her get all dressy with you and take lots of pictures with her for the memories. It won't be too long until you won't see her every day. Your younger brother will think all this prom stuff is gross, but in reality he is watching your every move. The way you act around your date will be the way he expects young women to act around him. He will watch to see if you let your date open the door for you; a true gentleman should. You should even let your younger brother do the same for you; let him practice being a gentleman for you. You are their princess.

Your date may or may not be clueless as to how to act in a tux, nice shoes and a tie. He will have no idea what to do with your purse or flowers or hand. Even if he knows how to be a gentleman, he will have forgotten the moment he saw you in your dress. It's your job to stand at the door and cough a little so that he opens the door for you. You should probably remind him before you get to the receiving line that he needs to make sure he gives a very firm handshake. He should give you his arm, too, if there are stairs involved at any moment of the night. He should give you his arm even if there aren't. Take his arm. Let him pull out your seat at the table. Even if your date is not your boyfriend, let him be a gentleman. Gently require gentleman-like behavior all night long. 

How you conduct yourself on this most memorable night is very important. My hope is that you chose a dress that, well, covers you. I also hope that you are wearing a dress that was insanely difficult to zip and button up. If it was hard to get on, it will be even more difficult to get off. Stay in your dress. It's so hard to find a dress these days that isn't filled with holes. You're beautiful in sweatpants, remember? You don't need to showcase your body to be beautiful. 

When it comes to dancing, you need to lead your date onto holiness. Prom is more enjoyable when you can see your date's face. Traditional dancing these days doesn't encourage that. I would say keep enough room for the Holy Spirit, the Bible or a ruler, but hey, you've heard it a million times in grade school. Why say it again? The truth is, when your date is dancing behind you, he's not looking at YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE. You had that face all done-up, he should be privileged to look at you. Besides, dancing is more enjoyable when you can see his handsome face, too. You are his princess for the night.

I'm hear to tell your date, too, that he should be aware that you are his princess. There isn't anything he should do tonight that should make your crown fall. There isn't anything he should do tonight that should rob you of your dignity. Whether it's where he puts his hands while you're dancing, how he speaks to you, how he treats you throughout the night, or how he conducts himself at the after-Prom party, he should be calling you onto holiness, too. There is no doubt that there will be certain pressures but I'm telling you that if YOU believe in your dignity, he will believe your dignity. By the way your conduct yourself, he will know that you either a. mean business and demand respect or b. he's got a free pass tonight. His main goal tonight should be making sure that crown doesn't fall. Tonight you are his princess. 

Additionally, I want to briefly mention your date...oh wait, I've done that already, huh? Remember that he wears a crown, too. He is a prince. To his mom, dad and siblings, he is a prince. Tonight, he is your prince. He is not your coat rack; he will feel obligated to hold your phone, purse and flowers, but I can guarantee he doesn't want to be seen holding all that stuff in your pictures. Give it to your Sister or Dad who will look on with pride, gladly holding your things. He is your escort; not your personal servant for the night. Treat him with dignity and respect. Call him onto holiness. Look at his handsome face. Enjoy the moment. Be a lady in every regard; while eating, while dancing, while after-partying. By doing this, he will feel less pressure to fit in with the societal norms. Keep his crown up, too.

Finally, I know that you're not actually having fun unless it says you're having fun on social media. But please, do not blow up my feed with your notifications. I know you're at prom, your family knows you're at prom, your date definitely knows you're at prom and your girlfriends know you're at prom, too. You're literally in a room with all the people who might care about what you're doing for the night. Have fun WITH them not with their Twitter/Facebook/Instragram accounts. Spend tomorrow tagging people in pictures. Put the phone in your purse on silent and dance. Trust me, for about three hours, you can put that phone down. You won't start shaking. Promise. 

I hope you know how much I love you. I don't want this to seem like a lecture. It's a letter my heart felt overly compelled to write because I want your crown to shine above anything else tonight. I want that crown on your head to be the main attraction tonight. That crown symbolizes your dignity. I know that your heavenly Father has been working hard on making sure it shines so perfectly tonight because He loves you and wants only the best for you. I love you and I wanted to tell you that. I hope you know how much your crown means to me. Your beautiful crown has encouraged me to pull mine out of the dusty closet. Maybe tonight, I'll wear mine, too. Imagine that, coordinating crowns for pictures. 

Above all else, have a great time tonight. As we always say, "Make good choices." Keep that crown up, Princess. I love you. 

Love, 

Your Big Sister in Christ

P.S. Please, dear God, make good underwear decisions!

Jesus' Perfect Day

"You can't have a perfect day 

unless you do something for someone 

who can never repay you. "

- John Wooden

     Easter Monday, at approximately 5:45am, I, along with another faculty member from my school and ten students, loaded up a spaceship-like van and headed to Chicago for the first (of many) Alternate Spring Break Trip. We adventured for quite a number of hours and finally made it after determining that Indiana has the worst rest stops. Indiana Rest Stops with nuns at them, however, are not as bad. What seemed like a week of adventure already was just getting started.

     My students and I did a plethora of things around Chicago. We visited with Feed My Starving Children, a manual manna pack factory; visited with the elderly at Nazarethville and gave them a spa day; helped a local school start boxing up for the end of the school year and so much more. We dedicated our days wholly the service at hand and the girls did anything that was asked of them. Seeing one of our most commonly used phrases, "Serve the dear neighbor," in action was absolutely amazing. I saw so many smiles and heard moments of happiness as I sat back and watched the most amazing events take place. 

      In addition to doing service, my students were so blessed to visit with various communities of Sisters in the Chicago area, including the Carmelites. We prayed with the Sisters and played (Rock Band, Apples to Apples, etc.) with them. We listened to their vocation stories over dinner, breakfast and sometimes even lunch. We spent so much time with nuns. For me, this is normal, but none of my students had even stayed in a convent before, so this "nun-dom" was a whole new revenue for them. It was amazing to see what was happening inside so many hearts. 

     For me, going back to Chicago, a place where so many of my beloved Sisters live, was a whole new experience. I had only gone to Chicago on my own for discernment. The amount of night before we left when I would wake from panic were too numerous to count. I was nervous to be running my first but also so nervous to be bringing my students in my Sisters' house. It wasn't so much the fact that the SISTERS knew so much about me but rather that my students have never seen me in full nun-mode. Of course, despite the panic, I was so excited to be back with my Sisters. 

     My nights were longer than my students. I would request they get to bed and then I would spend the next hour or so catching up with one of the Sisters. They so gloriously accommodated my busy schedule. Whenever we could fit in a moment or two, they were ready. And every night I went to bed feeling so incredibly blessed. It wasn't only the Sisters that gave me that sense but also being with my students. 

      Every night we spent some time reflecting on our rose, buds and thorns of the day. The good, the bad and the hope for tomorrow. I was astounded at the wisdom of these girls and what was happening in their hearts. Every morning we would hold hands and pray together in a circle around the statue of Mother Foundress in the lobby. We would pray for our intentions of the day then pray our school prayer together before asking "Our Lady of the Highway/Walkway" to be with us. Every morning a few sisters would join in the circle. At night, a few Sisters would join our reflections and recreation. We became such a part of their lives and they became a huge part of ours. Each morning I felt more and more blessed as our list of intentions got longer and longer. The girls found so many little things to pray for and met so many people 

       Of course, being with the Sisters pulled my heart in so many directions to God. I cried way too many times about so many things. Many were happy tears, some were confused tears, and even some were tears of the pain that comes with leaving. I knew at every moment that being a Campus Minister as my full time job is exactly what I need to be and what I love so much. Being there with my awesome group of students and my good faculty friend made me excited to come back to school. I feel like I fell even more with my job. I felt that no matter what might try to get me down, I would be on top because this is truly the Lord's work. I felt high on the life God gave me. 

      This trip changed my life in so many ways. My faith in God's plan for me was renewed by my students' witnesses. My heart was so happy being simply in the presence of my dear friends, the Sisters. My heart was solely satisfied by the fact that we were doing the work of God. What we had experienced was a small slice of Heaven and the students knew it. I knew it. I overwhelmingly knew it. 

      At 6:30 in the morning, right before we piled in the van for our journey home, we joined hands with the Sisters and prayer in our circle. As we spoke the words, I choked up. I felt so much sadness leaving a place that I will always consider home. I was sad to be leaving the Sisters who will always playfully tease me about my hair being a mop or my "quiet" personality. I was sad to be leaving the hugs and love my Sisters had for my students. People always joke at the end of a good thing like this: well, back to reality. Well, how blessed am I that this is my reality?! So blessed.