The Last First Week of School Tears

"For College Seniors, there should be a week

of just being able to cry. Just break down and cry

because you are scared and don't know what's next."

- Bill Crosby

A View of Back Campus

     I have been here for just over two weeks and already it feels like Mid-October. No, not temperature-wise, but rather on the scale of syllabus week - final week. I have literally only been in classes for four days and already, my brain is experiencing sensory overload. I couldn't wait to get back into the classroom, a yearly recurring theme in my life every August. I was anxious to see my friends, see my Sisters, see my professors and of course, get my nose in some more books to learn so much more than I ever thought I could. I was anxious to get Move-In week over with if only so I could find my front row seat in all my classes and start soaking in all the wisdom of my professors. I had my FDO (First Day Outfit) planned out the night before and my back-pack was all ready to go. I climbed into bed knowing how blessed I was to be back at IU for another year. The next morning I woke up to a million and one facebook statuses from my friends: Happy Last First Day of School, Class of 2014. Wait...what? Instant panic. 

     Okay, so I had thought about it many times, but it was too far away to be real. I kept saying all Summer: I'll be a Senior in the Fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Senior year whatever. But then all of a sudden, it's no longer "I'll be," it's "I am." Suddenly, I'm not longer a Senior wannabe, but rather the real thing. Suddenly, I'm no longer watching with admiration, the older and wiser students on campus, but rather, I am the older and the wiser (that's debatable.....). So much seemed to have changed in just a matter of a few hours. And boy oh boy was my heart beginning to feel it.

      I remember promising myself that I was going to make this year, my last year of college, the best one. I told myself I would stay up late at night just talking with my friends, only to get up and try to function properly in a few hours later for class. I told myself I would go every place I got the chance to go, I would do anything I could, I would go to any soccer/volleyball/basketball game, I would try out for the musical, I would be there for my friends, I would spend more time with my Sisters across the street, at Camilla and on campus, I would do all these things and more. I had this mentality that this was going to be the best year. Crying during the first week of school was not on the agenda. Therefore, when I felt the increasing need to cry, I refused to let myself do so. 

      Well, the promise not to cry during the first week of school lasted about ten hours. I had gone through the first day of classes and was in the car heading to my grandparents for dinner. I had the country music station on and suddenly, the tears were streaming down my face. I laughed at myself and wiped the tears away promising myself it wouldn't happen again that week. I mean seriously, if I cried the first week of school, what did that mean for the rest of the school year? 

       Crying, I have not always believed, is a true way of cleansing the soul. And I think this week, the urge to cry has simply come from the need to cleanse myself of the paranoia of Senior Year Stress Syndrome. You know, when all of a sudden you are met with the desire to do nothing but the need to do everything and anything. Of course, I have to admit that my Senior Year is going to be way different than everyone else's. You see, Senior Year means something so much more to me than simply finishing school. 

       For me, finishing school gives me another step closer to pursuing my vocation as a religious sister. And that scares the daylights out of me. Of course, it also means finding a job, paying off loans, living on my own, finding a place to live on my own, getting certified as a real teacher, etc. But it also means that the reality of my vocation coming into fruition is even closer. And what is sooooooo scary about that is that I still have no idea what I am doing with my life. All I know is that God's got this....He better, because I sure don't. 

     This week has truly been a very human week for me. While my friends are talking about getting good paying jobs, getting engaged, starting families, I'm just over like "Hey...I wanna be a nun..." and it's like Jesus popped the question, I said yes, but suddenly He wants to start planning for a wedding and I'm like, "Dude, I've got school to worry about." He understands but He keeps asking me if I thought of where we're going to have the wedding, what my dress is going to look like, if I thought about names, and I just want to breathe. He's an anxious bridegroom. I mean, let's be honest....I understand. He makes me smile, and I know all He wants is for me to be His forever and ever and ever, but right now, I tell Him to wait a little longer. I love Him more than anything, anyone, any place, and yet, I'm still reserved. Why is there a part of that is still saying, "I just don't know...." Well, because suddenly these ideas of getting married to Jesus, are no longer ideas, but rather realities at the tip of my finger and suddenly, I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. 

       Then someone tells me to breathe, that there is still time. That's when I cry....It seemed so obvious, so real, so true and real person life is coming at me much quicker than I thought possible. Yes, I am still a student, but there is a lot more on my mind than most Seniors in my class. And yet, I know God's got this. I can cry, I can talk it out, but in the end, I know that God has full control over this. So, I said to Him, listen, my friend, you plan the wedding. I'll focus on school, You plan the wedding. He's so anxious....I think it's pretty cute. 

      Of course, He agreed but then also reminded me that for me, as a future teacher, there is no such thing as the last first week of school. I'll have last first weeks forever. 

FYE Service Projects Come Full Circle

"Let your heart delight in the love

your God has for you, personally, individually."

-St. Katharine Drexel

    It was a bright and early Saturday morning in late August. Many new students had just moved in the day before and were still exhausted by the amount of activities from the previous night. Although it was 8:00 AM, a time that many new students would need to get used to come Monday morning, it was still a bit too early for most. I boarded a cheese-yellow school bus with a good number of my peers and took the seat behind the nun (shocker). I stared out the window as we drove to our destination. Finally, we arrived and what did I see but the name of the church which I would be cleaning: St. Katharine Drexel in Chester, PA. That was four years ago.

     This past Saturday, the scene was very much the same. While I wasn't a new student this time, plenty of students in the class of 2017 boarded eleven different yellow school buses to head out to ten different parochial schools and one high school in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia to do various service projects. Of course, this time I didn't take the seat behind the nun. I have gained much confidence in the past three years. This time, I sat next to one. And while I wasn't headed to St. Katharine Drexel Church in Chester, Katie D was still following me. I found myself at Our Mother of Sorrows/St. Ignatius of Loyola School, part of which was (is?) run by the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament. That is, the Sisters founded by St. Katharine Drexel.There is nothing like my life of service at IU coming full circle. 

     I've been a part of the FYE (First Year Experience) program for all four years at IU. My first year, I was a student in the class, and after that, I've taken on the role as Mentor. Although this year I am not helping out with a class, I still have a nice mentoring job. It is appearing to be that while taking on this different role in the FYE program, I often get to stand in, which is what I was blessed enough to do on Saturday. My personal destination for Saturday's Service Project had been debated quite a few times, until finally I got placed at OMS/SIL. I wouldn't have had it any other way. 

     We arrived, after a nice hour long bus ride, with my personal seat next to Sister Elaine. Our group split up between weeding and outdoor work and inside, classroom cleaning. I found myself outside, on my hands and knees, yanking and pulling up weeds from between the bricks in the sidewalk with my new peers. There was quiet conversation amongst us for most of the first hour as many of us were still waking up. But sooner or later, our students started opening up and having true conversation. At one point, my new peers even convinced me that some weeds were poisonous. So, I pulled them up anyway. Good news: they weren't. We worked hard for a good 3.5 hours and were so spent by the time we got on the bus for the journey home. 

      The entire day, while it seems like it happened so quickly, was certainly a beautiful one for me. Of course, I couldn't get over how much Katie D had visited me just in those few hours. She was quoted all over the walls, present in the entire spirit of the school and definitely walking with me as I worked with my peers. There wasn't a moment I forgot God's presence throughout the day. Truly it was so beautiful and all day, I found such a reflective spirit in my heart. I remembered back to my Freshmen Service Project with Sister Cathy. I remembered so vividly how so convinced me to get on the shakiest and most unstable ladder ever in history just to clean around some candle light holders. I recalled the conversation on the bus that morning with her when I gave myself away by asking very "nunly questions." I remembered how my eyes almost filled with tears at the very mention of Katie D being the patron of the church. So many parallels. 

      There were no ladders, but there sure was lots of dirt and dust. I found myself conversing so easily with Sister Elaine on the bus to and fro (God bless that woman for having to deal with me), recalling so many parts of my own story. Of course, the moment I saw Katie D quoted on the wall, I cried. My tears fill up now as I remember all the good, so far back and so recent. There are just so many blessings that I have been given and I know it, oh how I know it. Where would I be without my God and the blessings He has bestowed on me?! Oh truly, where would I be.

       At the end of the day, I can say I once again found myself doing something I so often enjoy: service to others. We were made to service each other, and we must all play our part. I can truly say that this service trip, though short, will remain as vivid a memory as so many. Of course, I blame one person for this, for always following and for always watching over me: Katie D. 

No song this time, but rather, a video. As if I couldn't brag about my school anymore:

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/video?id=9218042

Neighbors Are...Methodists and Family

"You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself."

     We were hanging up balloons in the church on the pillars...well, trying to at least. We were failing miserably. The pillars were made of wood and the latex balloons just were not sticking with the scotch tape. There were three of us wrestling with the balloons and tape until finally, Miss Elaine came over to help us out. Here we were doing it all wrong...that was until, well, it popped right in her face. Oops. That's when, out of humorous distress Miss Carol exclaimed: how many United Methodists does it take to hang up a balloon? From a far, Miss Char chimed in: don't blame, her, she's a Catholic. Yep...me. 

     I have been helping out at Vacation Bible School at Wilkinson United Methodist Church for about four or five years now. It's been so many years of fun, that I can't quite remember. I know what you're all thinking: how did I, a little Catholic girl, get mixed up with all those Methodists? Well, there's a few reasons: first of all, the church was where my littlest sister went to Pre-K. Almost all the kids in Croydon go to Pre-K there. Second, both of my sisters have been participating in VBS since God knows when. Third, the church is literally right across the street from my house. And finally, Miss Elaine takes her pets to my mom's work, and off the cuff, my mom volunteered me. It's been uphill ever since. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

     I can remember the first moment all the volunteers found out I was the lone Catholic girl. It started with a mention that no one had ever seen me in church before. It grew to confessing I go to a different church and then quickly escalated to admitting I'm a Catholic...a proud one. I have always, since I was a little girl, been fascinated with religion. Not simply my Catholic faith, but all religions, their practices, their beliefs, everything. I immediately wanted to know everything about what it meant to be Methodist. And what could have easily turned into a "we're very different" chat, actually developed into a five year faith sharing process. 

     I love my Methodist family. I seriously just love them. Now that I've been volunteering with them a few years, being the lone Catholic girl has become a friendly joke and a beautiful thing. I can't tell you how much faith sharing I have done with these beautiful people. The only time I really do get to see them is during VBS which saddens me a bit, but alas, all in God's good time. I am constantly reminded by my dear friends that I am Catholic and that they love that about me. I have literally been accepted into their family and loved just the same. This whole idea has changed my life in so many ways, but especially because they have put into practice loving their neighbors as themselves and loving those who are different. I tell them we are like a family, each loved for our differences. It's like growing up in my family: my sisters and I are very different, yet I love them each for the different gifts they offer. My Methodist family has reminded me by their example to continuously love those around me who have even greater differences. 

     Like I said, my Methodist family is always reminding me of my Catholic faith, for example, Miss Char's exclamation of : "don't blame her, she's a Catholic." This week of VBS has been so beautiful for me especially in proclaiming my faith. Before, my Catholic faith was something I avoided talking about with them, if only to avoid awkward conversation. However, they have lead me on to holiness in a way that I openly proclaim my faith to them. This week, as many of you may know, we celebrated a Holy Day of Obligation in our Catholic Faith: the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. On Wednesday night of Bible School, I went around reminding each of my little ones from our Parish, that they had to get to Mass the next day. I could see some of my dear friends looking on intriguingly. I didn't think anything of it. 

     Our Mary day came and went, and by Friday of Bible School, my heart was heavy. Like I said, I only get to really see my Methodist family once a year during VBS. I got there a little earlier to help my partners in crime, Miss Christine and Miss Kelsey, set up our "classroom" for our final night. Before I knew it, there was a crowd of people just mingling in our "classroom" before going up to the sanctuary. I guess I mentioned that I got up early and went to Mass and conversation sparked from there. We talked about how I go to Mass every day, how it's not an obligation, but rather only on Sunday and Holy Days, like Thursday. That's when Miss Char starts stumbling over a question she wanted to ask me. At first, I thought I knew what she wanted to ask me, but then she was having trouble formulating the words. Everyone was giving her a look that was between confusion and laughter. Finally she goes: have you ever, ya know, thought about becoming a nun? I smiled and nodded, knowing that was what she had been trying to say the whole time. I never really expected what happened next. Miss Char's eyes, after hearing me say that I have been thinking about entering religious life ever since I was little, started filling up with tears. I almost started crying. We quickly hurried up the stairs to get our students and start our final lesson. But at the end of the night, when I was saying my goodbyes to my dearheart Miss Carol, and Miss Char, I was told: I would literally love to have you as my daughter or granddaughter. You're going places, kid. I know it. 

      Over the week, the respect I gained for not only my eventual profession as a teacher but also my vocation grew immensely. Even though I am studying to be a high school teacher, teaching my little ones is always a blessing. I love doing teachery things and VBS is definitely one of them. But of course, vocation, as a discerner to religious life, stems from that as well. I always expect people to ask questions, even my Catholic Parish family, and so often people fulfill my expectations. I was never expecting to topic of discerning to even make a debut at VBS with my Methodist family, but Miss Char cut straight to the chase. I expected questions to follow, and eventually they did, but I never expected the tears. Miss Char, without knowing it, reminded me of the reason why I ever started discerning in the first place: the very beauty of it all. 

     I can honestly say that over the past seven years of open discernment to the religious life, there have been times when I feel as if I have fallen into a routine of discernment. There are many times where, although I know I am no where near being an official sister, I feel as if I am because I have been a part of the life for so long. There are times when I forget why I fell in love with Jesus so much in the first place. I can't tell you how many times in the past seven years that I have shed tears because I have truly known the love from Jesus and His continuous call for me. And yet, there are times when I forget this. Perhaps I hadn't forgotten it this time, but I know I wasn't thinking about it. Yet, Miss Char reminded me so beautifully that truly this is the vocation I feel so called to in this life. Yes, last night, as I prayed to thank God for such a beautiful week with such beautiful people, I cried because of His ultimate goodness. Oh He is just so good to me. 

    This week during Vacation Bible School we taught our students all about neighbors, both here in the USA and all over the world. We learned what makes up a good neighbor: friendliness, a giving, welcoming and forgiving attitude and boldness. We learned that no matter what our differences, we must always love and care for one another because we are all brothers and sisters with God as our father. And as for me, while it wasn't in the written curriculum, I learned not only the obvious (my neighbors are Methodist) but that as neighbors we must always uplift and support one another in everything we do; we must continuously pray for the to persevere in each one's vocation. Yep, I learned a little bit, too. 

     And so, I've got two questions for my Methodist family: Will you come to my final vow ceremony? And can I come back to help at VBS as a Sister?! 

(The Song for this Post can be found by using the following link: http://vimeo.com/60015661)

It is my favorite VBS song from this year :)

    

What If Jesus Was On The Radio

"Find new ways to spread the word of God to every corner of the world."

- Pope Francis

    I have, admittedly, been slacking on my writing. As a writer, I should be writing at least once a day. But alas, I am a writer who is first a teacher, a big sister, a daughter, and a service worker. Therefore, in the past few weeks, I have been fulfilling those duties. But as the last few days of my Summer start to wrap up, I seem to have multiple ideas for writing swimming around in my head. You're welcome.

    Perhaps I have mentioned this before, or maybe you already know this about me, but I absolutely, positively love music. And it's not just one type of music, but rather every kind of music, including some rap. This is rare, I know, to find someone who will willingly listen to anything. Of course, I always do have my preferences: it's a tie between traditional African hymns and something along the lines of country and Mumford and Sons. My Sister might tell you I only listen to Jesus music, but that's because she likes to spread stereotypes about me. The Apple genius application doesn't work on my phone yet, because all my music is too eclectic for it to make suggestions. This is the honest truth. I have everything on there from Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" to Willie Nelson's "On The Road Again" to Zac Brown Band's "Jump Right In" and yes, even some Miley Cyrus. Of course, if you were to look at my most recently purchased songs from the past few weeks you would find some Disney music ("I'll Make A Man Out Of You" is a classic belt it out song in my car, just ask Lizzie), some country, some pop, some Christian, some Broadway show tunes, some everything. And what I love more than music, is turning up the music in my car and singing it at the top of my lungs, harmonizing with my sisters in the middle traffic on 95. Yep, no shame. 

     Anyway, so I love music, but what does that have to do with Jesus? Well everything actually. Like I said, my sister, Mary likes to tell people that all I listen to is Jesus music when in reality, anything that's on the radio is good enough for me. When I was in high school, however, that wasn't the case. I absolutely, positively refused to listen to what I considered to be horrendous music on the radio. I would rather listen to the silence in the car than to what people were trying to pawn off as music. I would get so frustrated that people actually listened to this. Didn't anyone have any morals anymore?! What did it take to find good, decent music? Something, anything with value. Then one day, I was driving in the car, and to avoid a minor argument with my sister, we left the radio on. That's when Jesus spoke to me through modern day music. 

     Say what? Jesus spoke to you through the music? Okay, well it's not as crazy as it sounds. I can't remember the song honestly, as this happened so long ago, but ever since then I've listened with a different ear. In fact, it became such a common occurrence, that every time a new song would come on the radio, my roommate would say "Okay, find Jesus in this one." And without a doubt, I'd easy be able to look at the lyrics and find God. I've wanted to do a post about this for a while now, so, I looked up the top 100 pop songs of the week which included : "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus, "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5, "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth, and finally, "Come and Get It" by Selena Gomez. Now, at first glance, one may think, oh my gosh, how on earth can one find Jesus in these songs. Well, buckle up your seatbelts and get ready for the ride of your life.

     It doesn't take a genius to know that Miley Cyrus' newest song is about partying. Moms, I know, you're holding your breath right now, but hear me out. It has a catchy beat and most often, songs today are like that: a beat so catchy, you can't help but sing along. Well that's what happened to me after hearing this song. Trust me, I didn't want to like this song. I even forced myself to turn it off a few times, but then I found myself downloading it. Why? Well because I heard these lines: "Remember only God can judge ya. Forget the haters 'cus somebody loves ya." Those two lines hit me like a ton of bricks. Isn't it obvious? Of course, how many times does Miley say "we can't stop, no we won't stop"? Shouldn't that be how we act about loving Jesus and practicing our faith? Hmmm....

     The next song, "Radioactive." Is actually one of my favorites. Up until a little while ago, Imagine Dragons was a best kept secret but I am so glad more and more people are getting to know their music. The entire chorus of this song which sings "I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones enough to make my systems blow. Welcome to the new age, I'm radioactive." When I first heard this song, I was struggling with the "why do I get up for Mass every day?" There are plenty of times when I am literally dragging myself out of my nice, warm bed to Mass. Yet, there I am. And the moment when I am sitting in Mass I realize, this is all I am living for. The love for Jesus is in my bones, my blood, my entire system. It should be so much so to make my systems blow. I should be bursting with this love. I should be radioactive for Jesus. I haven't watched the music video for this but the music video that plays in my head is me waking up every morning on fire for Jesus. 

     "Love Somebody" is a song that Mary introduced me to. I was never really a fan of Maroon 5's music at first glance; it's something that has to grow on me. Usually it's only one line or two that really hits my heart like a little message from Jesus and at first, it was just one line "I think about you every single day." But there are a few lines in this song, now that it has grown on me, that really seem to be Jesus shouting it out at me : "I know your insides are feeling so hollow," "Love me today, don't leave me tomorrow," and finally, "I'm right in front of you, asking you to stay, you should stay, stay with me tonight." If we put those words coming from Jesus, Himself, wow, how beautiful, honestly? He is right in front of each of us, begging us to love Him, asking us to stay with Him every night. How beautiful that He thinks of each day and wants us only to love Him?

     The next song, "Beneath Your Beautiful" is a song I actually have not heard on the radio but rather, stumbled upon in on iTunes. I fell in love with it instantly; it's just beautiful. It's a song that truly beckons the girls to take off the shows they put on for the world. The chorus sings: "Will you let me see beneath your beautiful? Will you let me see beneath your perfect? I wanna see inside." It moves my heart. Jesus doesn't care about the show we put on. He wants the real us, He wants all the icky stuff. He wants all the hurts and brokenness and all shows. He wants to take it all and show us real love, real, true love. Will you take off your beautiful, your perfect? Hmm...

     Of course, I can't help but address Selena Gomez's newest song: Come and Get It. Have you ever heard the story of the gentleman Jesus? It's one of my favorites, so to summarize: each one of us has a door to our heart with no handle on the outside. The only way to open the door is for you to open it from the inside. Jesus simply knocks and then waits real patient for you to open the door. That's what I thought of when I heard this song for the first time: "When you're ready, come and get it. No need to worry, it's an open invitation, I'll be sittin' right here, real patient, all day, all night, I'll be waiting standby." Yeah. Jesus, the gentleman right there, folks. 

     I understand that this could easily be one of the most controversial blog posts I have ever written, especially coming from someone who is discerning to be a sister. But here are two things I want to truly express here: first, simply because I find Jesus in everyday music, it does not mean the music's message is any better. The truth is, the artists who write and perform these songs know the messages they want to convey and I can tell you, I almost one hundred percent do not approve. I know what each of these songs I just addressed is really trying to say, and I would hate to be known for encouraging this, because in essence, I am not. However, this is where the second point comes across. In today's day and age, we don't have wholesome music readily available. After all the musical research I have done, I can say, we never really did. However, music today is much worse when it comes to morals. Jesus is aware of this and He understands that day by day the amount of things getting in the way of our full listening to Him gets larger and larger. So, He takes what He has and speaks to us through that. There is one radio station that plays Christian music, but good luck trying to get it tuned in in the car or in your house. The radio waves aren't that strong. And Jesus knows this. He knows what our teens are listening to and that He needs to try His hardest to reach young people today. For you moms and dads, the only reason I try to find Jesus in each song is to prove a point. For you young people, please know that it's hard to find Jesus many places because of all the barriers we have to reaching Him. But just know that if you truly believe Jesus is always with you and in everything you do, He will make Himself present to you. I promise. 

      Of course, as I am finishing writing this post, I can hear my HS English teacher in my head saying, "Well, you saved yourself again with that conclusion, Bec." The main point is, we are always going to be surrounded by music but what I have learned time and time again is that most often a piece of literature (music is literature....google lyrical poetry) is not interpreted the way the author originally intended and it is made for that purpose. Literature is meant to be interpreted by each and every single person in a very personal way. So, remember that when listening to the music of today's day and age: it's open to how you interpret it. If you listen to our music today with an open heart and a heart full of Jesus, you'll probably be hearing Jesus singing just as often as I do. Of course, I have dashboard Jesus to help me. 

Hanging Out With Jesus, My BFF

"True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend."

- Faye Hall

     Last week, I was blessed enough to spend five days with some amazing girls from IU, our Campus Minister, our Chaplain and about 125 students and CMs from various other colleges all over the USA. I went into the week already overwhelmed by the fact that this was one of three weeks of Summer I had left. Part of me wanted to be home with my little sisters doing summery type things like going to the beach and getting tan, but I knew, just as I always say, I was exactly where God needed me to be at that very moment in time. And so, I unpacked knowing that this was where God needed me but unsure as to why. 

     We eventually all piled into the auditorium at Marymount University in Arlington, VA for our opening session. I sat in slightly bitter about not being home with my Sisters or soaking up the sun. I suddenly became a shy little Becca when it came to making new friends and was not about talking to new people. All I wanted at that moment was to get in a bed and sleep. But we had a long night ahead of us and lots of new friends to make. I got comfortable in my auditorium seating and pulled out my notebook, you know, if I just casually wanted to make note of something. Oh who was I kidding? I always have been and always will be the perpetual student who loves learning. I had more notes on my paper than I think our speaker had on hers. Trust me, I was bursting with energy from the moment she started. Instantly my attitude changed. Why? Well, because Sister Grace Dominic was giving a talk on Connection with Christ. Yep. Instantly, my who attitude about the whole week changed. 

     Sister Grace Dominic immediately caught my attention with her stories of little four-year old nephews. It was quite amusing, especially after having attended Mass that morning with my God-daughter to hear her sing the entire Mass "YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH." Yeah...she definitely is a product of my God-mothering already. I love little kids in Mass because they always give beautiful insight to what our celebration really is. Sister had me sold. She is, by far, one of the most precious Sisters I have ever met. She has a beautifully sweet speaking voice, a lovely charism and a precious personality. I know that may seem like nothing new to my dear friends, but what is new is that she was part of a community I never really got to know: The Sisters of Life. Miss Greene would be so proud. Needless to say, I held onto her every word.

     That night I went to bed really reflecting on the things Sister had told us. And as I reflected on the many things that spoke to my heart, I had one idea in particular really singing to my soul: a best friendship with Jesus. I love metaphors, as you may or may not know, and anything that really applies to my life sparks my attention. This idea of best friendship immediately stuck to me like glue. And here's why:

     When Sister began speaking of best friendship, I thought of my little sister, Mary and her best friend, Julia. Having gone to all of grade school together and then splitting up for high school, they have remained best friends through and through. They weren't best friends at first, but as they got older and wiser, they immediately found a kinship between the two of them. They became almost inseparable. Now, after knowing each other for almost 12 years, they are even closer. As the oldest, I have become the taxi driver and big sister for both. Almost every night I am home during the summer (and any other time), I am driving one of them to the other's house. Every other night one is sleeping on the other's floor, although my Sister has her own bed now at Julia's house. They go on vacation with each other's family, they do almost everything together, they have a system down. They are so good at being best friend's it;s actually scary sometimes. Okay. One may be thinking: don't they get sick of each other? I mean, I get sick of them sometimes. And they do. They have one day a week where they don't see each other. They get mad at each other, they call each other out own their emotions, they give each other grief. I mean, isn't that what it should be?

      I have to laugh when I think about my sister's best friend and my best friend, Mary Kate. I think back to high school and yes, we were inseparable. We did everything together, and if we didn't we always consulted the other first. But now that we are in college, we have learned that best friends doesn't mean doing everything together, but that we can move on to separate things and still be the best of friends. Often, I find myself visiting her family, calling her mom, at the most random and perhaps inopportune times. I can call her up and tell her I am outside in my car waiting for her and she'll come out with me. I can walk through her front door without having to knock. I can not talk to her for days and weeks and yet, I know she's always there for me. Now that we are older, we have essentially taken on the persona of two older ladies who sip whatever it is we feel like sipping on the front porch thinking about life. We are, essentially an older version of Mary and Julia. Look out girls.

     As I was thinking about our best friends and laughing to myself at all our funny fine moments, I began to adapt it to my relationship with Jesus, which, praise God, is a best friendship. However, for many this is not true. Think about your best friend. Who is it? How do they perform BFF duties? Where would you be without them?! For me, a best friendship with Jesus is literally spending every moment possible I can with Him, whether it's at His house for a meal (the Mass), His house for family time (adoration and prayer), walking in the park on a date (literally walking in the park) or doing service opportunities with Him. Just like I consult my best friend about almost everything in life, I always pray about it with Jesus first. He always gets first consultation. And just like all best friends, we are comfortable with each other enough to tell each other when we are frustrated. Often Jesus tells me that I need some confession time and there are times when I let Jesus have it with my flustered words. Like seriously Jesus, why did You have to let this happen?! You are such a drama queen. Just like real best friends, we hang out all the time. 

     Then I began to think about the one time Julia had to have severe back surgery. She was scared, frightened and cried a good amount. All of us at church were praying for her, but still she experienced very human emotions when it comes to having surgery, especially for a young teen. After surgery, she couldn't do a lot of things for a very long time. She couldn't run or do anything really active. She had to sit in a certain position and do all kinds of things that made her stand out in the crowd. She was immediately different and could have easily been ridiculed for being so. However, like a real true best friend, Mary stood by her every moment. She visited her in the hospital, helped her adjust to life with a new back and even stood up for her many times. This meant that all the things Julia couldn't do, Mary didn't do. She literally suffered through it right next to Julia. She was there through all the hardships which proved that she wasn't Julia's best friend because it just happened to be convenient for her. Nope. She was a true BFF through and through.

      So many times we proclaim ourselves best friends with Jesus. It's all great while He's performing miracles and gaining followers, because hey, more friends for us. We'll go out to eat with Him while He's multiplying loaves and fishes, we'll take a ride in His boat, we'll give up all our time for Him because we're going on an adventure. Yeah, sure no problem. Being best friends with Jesus is easy. Until He gets to the garden and we can't stay up with Him because well, I'm too tired, Jesus. Being best friends with Jesus is easy until He gets condemned and scourged at the pillar and we're embarrassed that He might be a criminal and we don't want to get arrested for association. Being friends with Jesus is easy until He has to walk the way of Calvary and we can't because, well, we might get blisters or something. And being best friends with Jesus is easy until He is hanging on the cross. No, we can't be there for that. Definitely not, no, because well, that's just too painful to watch.

     So many times we say we are best friends with Jesus and yet, we deny Him at the times when our best friend needs us the most. We aren't there for Him when things get rough. We aren't there when things are painful. Why? Because it's not convenient for us. But remember Mary and Julia. They have literally done everything together, including the painful suffering of Julia's back surgery. They have literally been there for each other through everything. Imagine if suddenly Jesus decided He didn't want to be our best friend anymore? Because it just didn't seem convenient enough? We'd sure be stuck in a rut then, now wouldn't we? But no, Jesus continues to be there for us through and through. As for us, we need to step it up a bit. If we really want to be best friends with Jesus, we need to suffer with Him through the cross. If we want to be best friends with Jesus, we need to hang out with Him all the time...and that means hanging with Him on the cross. You wouldn't want your best friend to suffer alone, now would you?