Take Him to the Nunnery

"A stranger's hand clutched in mine
I'll take this chance, so call me blind
I've been waiting all my life...

just take my hand.

Touch my soul and hold it tight."

- Tori Kelly

    Last week I spent five days with some of my students in Pittsburgh on Alternative Spring Break. As part of this adventure, we  tapped into a Discernment Chat with a dear friend of mine, S. Angela. We logged onto A Nun's Life Ministries and began to ask S. Angela a number of questions about discernment and religious life. My students had been immersed in a variety of service projects and one of them included working with the elderly sisters of the community. This vocation chat was a good way for them to ask questions about religious life and get to know the community a little better. It helped greatly that I knew S. Angela. 

     One of the questions the girls asked her was if she ever dated before entering religious life. She answered yes and said that he supported her in her journey to religious life. We joked and said, "Life Goals: find you a boy who will support your discernment." The girls enjoyed listening to the story and found it fascinating that many sisters dated before entering a specific community (this was a trend they found in talking to various sisters of various religious communities). What was unique, however, was how the sister broke up (or didn't) with her boyfriend before entering. It was quite shocking to my students that so many sisters dated and of course, I said - thank goodness they did. 

     The activity was good for my students and it was great for me to be able to support my friend in her debut on the discernment chat. Of course, I was texting her at the same time, chatting about life. I told her that I had tears welling up in my eyes when she talked about the support hew boyfriend gave her when she was discerning. It home too closely and it made me miss that special person in my life. As we have had many conversations about my discernment, too. He always told me - I'll be in the church on the day you make your vows, whether to God or to me. Life goals, right? How did I get so lucky? I'm not really sure. But I've been blessed a hundredfold, that's for sure. 

    So he supports me, up and down. He knows that I love the sisters and will always have nun-radar. I will always strike up conversation with the sisters and I have mannerisms that are very nunny. He's even said to me, "that's very nunny of you." What a compliment. He knows that God is the top guy in my life and prayer life will be a requirement to our relationship always; adoration is my happy place and given the choice between daily Mass and going to breakfast, I'll take Mass. He is by my side through it all, even if it means getting up extra early, to drive to my house so we can go to Mass at the convent together. Yes, you read that correctly. This Sunday, we went to Mass at the convent together. 

     

    I had mentioned to another friend of mine, who I had just spent the week with, that I would meet her at Mass at the convent on Sunday so I could see her, this time in Philadelphia. The convent was a particularly favorite of mine, one in which I spent much of my high school and even college days. The sisters there have known me since I was a dorky, nerdy 14 year old and perhaps, in their eyes, I may always be that little girl who loves nuns so much with curly hair. For me, there is so much peace in that little chapel, so many memories and yes, so many tears. Going there always means going home. And it was time I took Joe to visit, so I invited (dragged) him along. 

      As we pulled into the driveway of the convent, I felt a knot twist in my stomach - was I actually bringing a boy to the convent? Yikes. It felt like I was taking him to battle with no armor. Yet at the same time, I felt the necessity to do this. I began to tell him about all the sisters, fun stories of this sister and memories of that sister. I mentioned that it would be a little crowded because there were lots of visitors and that he'd probably meet the Provincial Superior. I could see him getting more and more nervous. We walked in, I signed us into the building and one sister casually mentioned, "Oh you have a male with you." Yes, sister. Indeed I do. Yikes. Then we walked to the Chapel and as I attempted to scan the Chapel for an open pew, I heard another sister behind me whisper hello. So I introduced the two and then we found a seat. 

     After Mass, I could see so many heads turn as we walked into the dining room. I said hello to many of my friends, introducing Joe and as such a gentlemen, he chatted briefly with each sister. Then, naturally, he met the Provincial Superior. I said hello first, she hugged me tightly and then gave me the eyes that said so much. The "Oh this is the boy" eyes.  Without saying anything, we had a whole conversation. He was terrified. I was enjoying every second of it. Many sisters came over to say hello, chat briefly and move on. Everyone wanted to meet the young man who came to Mass with their Becky. And in the end, I think they all approved. 

      The whole morning, I could only think of S. Angela's discernment chat and of course, all the advice she ever gave me. Joe is, to her, "her favorite boyfriend." Her support to me has been never-ending, through the ups and downs of discernment, as truly all life is discernment. Discernment doesn't end when you make a huge life decision, it includes lots of people and continues on for every aspect of life. Many of the sisters have taught me this and now Joe is apart of life's never-ending discernment. Today, I can reiterate S. Angela "find you a boy who supports you in your discernment..." Better yet, find yourself a boy who will willingly go to Mass at the convent with you!