Princess for A Weekend

"Every girl pretends she is a princess at one point, 

no matter how little her life is like that."

- Alex Finn

 

      Ever since I was little, I loved to sing and dance and perform. I belonged on a stage. When I started school, right away people were putting me on a stage to sing and dance and entertain. I loved being in the spotlight because it was the only place I wasn't shy. In school, I was a shy child. I barely spoke, especially not during classes or in line when we were supposed to be quiet. I was shy, always hiding behind my Daddy when meeting new people. I was nice, but I was so shy. On the stage, I had no fear. I was able to take over a different persona and simply be free. I could do things on stage like belt out Ave Maria or dance or act that I could never do off the stage. And the best part? I never once experienced stage fright.

      Flash forward to college. I came out of my shell in high school and had created myself as a unique young woman. I knew what I wanted from life and I knew how to get it. I wasn't shy anymore. That was until it came time for the Fall play auditions. Me? Sing on stage? Are you nuts? Who did I suddenly turn into? I loved to sing, but something about the stage at IU scared me. Maybe it was because I wasn't a music major and felt I wouldn't fit in...or maybe I just was afraid. So, I skipped it. I got into singing for church, but it seemed that the stage fright I never experienced as a child was hitting me like a ton of bricks. I guess it had just laid dormant for so long. 

      I remember Family Weekend as a Freshman at IU. The first part of the weekend involved the annual Miss Immaculata Pageant. I watched in awe as young women spoke about how they never thought they'd get up there to do something so amazing. I thought to myself how cool it would be to do something like that. Then I reminded myself of my dormant stage fright. Four years later, I found myself pacing back stage as I got ready to perform my Miss Immaculata talent as part of the pageant my Senior year. I did what I thought I would never do. I still experienced my stage fright, but I did it. 

      If I was going to the pageant, I wanted to do something that wowed the crowds. I was already known as a singer and an actor (thank God I got back into that...) and a photographer and a dancer and a writer and the list goes on and on and on. So, I decided to do something I had never done before: Perform a dramatic monologue. I wrote the monologue one night while working at the Motherhouse, where I gain a lot of my inspiration these days and was so happy with it. It encompassed my life as a writer, a performer, a traveler, a service worker and a teacher; all the things I hold dear. The more I thought about it, the more I was confident in my decision to do Miss IU. But then reality hit me...

     The reality of the fact that I would have to actually perform my monologue in front of people on the stage. AHHHHHH! So, I did the sensible and practiced in front of people. I practiced in front of every single class of mine at the school at which I'm student teaching and when I told the Sisters at the Motherhouse I was doing this, they asked for a private showing. Well, I know that when Sister asks, you do. So, the night before Miss IU, the Sisters crowded into the Fortress Portress office and I performed for them for the first time in front of a live audience. When I finished, a few Sisters were asking for tissues. I thought they were just being dramatic but actually, I had touched a nerve in them. I had spoke about something that they could connect with. The next day, when I performed for my students, even some of them cried. I was amazed. 

     The time for the show came and we were all more excited than nervous. As I walked out on that stage in my bare feet, suddenly all the confidence of younger me filled my heart and I performed that monologue better than I had in the past two days. I couldn't help but be proud of both myself and of my peers who had all performed so well. Of course, the performance part wasn't the only thing we were being judged on but also formal wear (and our escorts) and some fishbowl questions. So, like a little princess, I was escorted by my Daddy, the only time he may ever walk me down an aisle. I listened intently as my new sisters answered our fishbowl questions proudly and could not help but smile. I was so happy to look and feel like a princess among nine other princesses. Suddenly, I was being called forth as one of the three ladies moving on to the next level. Wow. I was in shock. After a few more intense moments, my "baby bear" was named Miss Congeniality, I was named Miss Runner-Up and Jade was crowned princess of IU. I believe my face said it all, when I realized she was the winner. I was more excited than she was. 

     The next morning, my Sisters at the Motherhouse didn't cease to remind me that no matter what I was a princess. The truth is, that's exactly what I preached at the pageant. When asked what legacy I was love to leave at IU, I answered: perpetual sunshine. Of course, that being said, the sun is one star in the sky, and each and every member of IU is a shining star in my eyes. Everyone is royalty. In recent weeks, even before Miss IU, the Sisters have adapted to calling me the princess of the fortress portress. I love that. I am reminded every day at the motherhouse that I am a princess and I especially felt so that Saturday after feeling like a princess all night at Miss IU.

     The feeling of being princess didn't cease on Sunday. Perhaps this was the climax of my weekend. The closing ceremony of Family Weekend is the Fall Honors Convocation. This is the chance students get to be recognized for all their achievements. We don our Harry Potter robes which as the years progress gain more and more decoration. I was proudly carrying four cords and a bunch of pins, a true sign of three years hard work. I smiled on as each of my peers were recognized for their beautiful and wonderful achievements. Finally, I was asked to stand and be recognized from the stage. I was being awarded the St. Catherine of Alexandria Medal, the highest award given to an IU student for academic achievement and service. I was so humbled. I found out I was to be awarded this medal during my month in Peru, which is only appropro. I felt so blessed and so humbled to have so many of my supporters in attendance. Honestly, there's nothing like feeling loved.

      All past weekend I felt like such a princess. But the truth is, when I open my eyes in the morning and see the life ahead of me, I feel like a princess. The truth is, I know I am a princess for my Father is the King of Kings. I am a princess, and you are a princess or a prince. It shouldn't take winning a pageant or an award to feel like a prince or princess; you should wake up everyday feeling so blessed to be royalty. You are royalty. Of course, I am so grateful for the weekend that was spent making me feel so special. I am blessed because so many beautiful people came to support me. I am blessed to have been able to feel like such a princess. God is so good and whenever I look back to these memories, I will smile and laugh. I don't need a crown to be a princess, I was blessed with a heart of gold.