Surviving Scurvy - A Story of Retreat

"We loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

- Sarah Williams, "The Old Astronomer"

    This time last week, I was admiring the falling snow from my bed, which I so strategically moved next to the window. I was attempting to sleep away a nasty version of the stomach flu in time for our second Senior retreat at school. I was also hoping to be fully recovered for Ash Wednesday, but the more I laid in bed and still felt horrible, the more I realized it was a possibility. In fact, my school principal encouraged me to stay home. As I sit here feeling a bit frigid, part of me wishes I was back in my nice, warm, comfy bed. But then I remember how I, with the help of a lot of my students, got over scurvy. I wouldn't trade those days for the world. 

     Scurvy. It's a disease more commonly associated with pirates and sailors, NOT high school teachers. It's a deficiency of Vitamin C and not commonly known about high school students. It also is very rare in today's day and age. However, when my student leaders (after panicking the entire day I was out sick from school) asked me about my illness and I told them it was the Norwalk Virus, also known as the Cruise Ship Virus, their imaginations immediately led to them thinking I had scurvy. Needless to say, in an all girls school, word that I had scurvy got out quickly. They say that laughter is the best medicine. To say that I was starting to feel much better because of all the laughing was an understatement. My neck, however, was still feeling kinda off. 

     It seemed that from all the sleeping I did the previous four days, my neck muscles got kinda stuck. There was a nice shot of pain each time I tried to move my neck even the tiniest bit. So, I iced it, took tons of advil and prayed I'd be able to get through the next three days of retreat. The amount of students who popped in throughout the day to see if any help was needed was astronomical. The amount of help I received from various teachers and administration was also astronomical. I was already counting so many blessings. By the time I was in the car with the student leaders, I felt like I was really going to be able to get through this. 

     Retreat was off to a great start. Everything was going as planned and we were even set to end a bit earlier than scheduled. The reflections, songs and small group sessions were seamless. I couldn't ask for a more perfectly easy time after just getting over my terrible illness. However, when I laid down in my bed after making sure everyone was in their rooms, the pain kicked in again. To say I got any sleep that night would be a lie. I tossed and turned until I watched the sun come up. At about 7:00, I found myself in the kitchen in tears because the pain was so bad. I found some ice and made myself some hot green tea as I waited for the next adult leader to come into the kitchen. My principal told me a few times the day before to see an urgent care doctor and I told her if it got any worse I would go, but I was trying my hardest to stay for the full duration of retreat. Well, the pain got worse and so, within the hour I was on my way with another adult leader to the closest urgent care. Yes, we left retreat for a few hours as I was diagnosed with cramped muscles and given a muscle relaxer. 

     When we returned to the retreat house, the students and adults were in the middle of a small group session. The two of us sat in Chapel as we waited; there was about fifteen minutes left. As I sat and waited (waited for the medicine to kick in and for the retreatants to return), I realized how vital those few hours were for me. Not only did I spend a few hours with someone I normally do not see in the hallways for more than five minutes at most, but I also had a strange humbling. I realized even more deeply something which I already knew. Whatever was happening at retreat was happening not because I was running the show and I had organized the entire thing with some help from my friends, but rather that it was entirely God's doing. Whether I was there or not, retreat was going to happen the way God intended. 

      The students were so supportive and gracious to my return. So many asked how I was feeling so many times throughout the next two days and always someone was there to help me out if I needed. Because of their gentleness and their intense support, my heart was being healed. I knew that this retreat was God's work, but I had previously felt like God used me to facilitate it. What I realized was that every moment is a miracle because God intends it to be a miracle. God wanted the retreat to happen and so he made it happen even without me. It was a humbling reminder that while I may be an instrument, who the devil might try to take me out whether by sickness of fatigue, God is bigger than that which seems to be a bump in the road. God has a plan; no matter what happens, He is going to make sure it happens. He knows how to steer around bumps in the road. 

     What I also realized even more deeply was that I am one person and one person only. Anything I do is a success only because so many people help me. I could never do half the things that Campus Ministry does without the help of students, teachers, faculty and administration. There's no way that it could be done without them and a bit of God's grace. Okay, a lot of God's grace. I believe that my "scurvy" was an instrument through which I was reminded of humility once again. Of course, it was just in time for the beginning of Lent. 

      With every seemingly negative piece of life, there is a positive outcome. I could have dwelt on the fact that I felt pretty crummy. But instead, I focused on how God was changing my life. He showed me that regardless, He's in charge. He showed me how capable my students are of letting God work in their lives. He showed me how good my friends are both in taking care of me and taking over when I was too drowsy to facilitate the retreat. He showed me how beautiful life is when we leave it up to Him. Of course, He also showed me how true it is that laughter is the best medicine. Because if I didn't laugh at my newest nickname (scurves) or my horrible attempt to be cool (RT for LOVE; RETWEET FOR RETREAT), I would have focused on the negative. I have so many students to thank, both the leaders and retreatants, for keeping me on my toes, keeping smiling and laughing and keeping me in the loop. I am so blesssed to be here and may my offering be stretched across the skies.