I AM WOMAN

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me.

I am a free human being with an independent will."

- Charlotte Bronte, "Jane Eyre"

       I had a teacher in college that whenever talking about feminism, he would always say, "I AM WOMAN," in a deep voice, proclaiming in his own way, the strength of the woman. I would always laugh and think, well real ladies would never use a deep manly voice. She would use her dainty, lady voice and say, "Well yes, sir, I do appear to be a bit stronger than you." Today, on my adventure with my best friend, I could not stop thinking about Mr. Mooney saying, "I AM WOMAN." In fact, I may have even said it a few times myself. If there's anything that feels mighty liberating as a woman, it's being able to lift two kayaks out of the water and into a truck that I just backed down the ramp. Say what? Yes, I did that.

     I've been reading a book titled, "Rose Under Fire." This book is a companion book to another book I just finished, "Code Name Verity." Both are written by Elizabeth Wein and both are historical fiction. Now, a little bit of a back story for you before I continue. As a kid, I always loved reading historical fiction books, especially books that showcased young women as the main character. I don't know if you ever heard of the Dear America series, but I thrived on those. Each were a diary form book written by a young girl during a historical time period. Now, flash forward to present day me searching in the book store for a casual Young Adult Literature book to read on vacation. As Sister Marcille taught me, I went after the book that had the Printz Award label on the front. Turns out, it was a historical fiction book. I knew I would love it, so I bought the companion book, too. I just started the second book Thursday...I'm almost done. 

     When I first picked up the books, I thought, oh good, another historical fiction during the WWII time era; one I personally love studying. As I got started, however, I realized I was reading about quite a few hipster ladies. By that, I mean, young women who were breaking stereotypes left and right by doing amazing things. One was a Special Orders Pilot...imagine, a woman pilot, especially during that time period. Of course, her best friend was a spy and interrogator. I fell in love with the characters who not only stayed true to the characterization of women at the time, but also were insanely feminist and willing to go above and beyond what women normally did. The second book also features a female pilot and describes at length the women concentration camp that still to this day doesn't have too much written about it. It describes in insane detail the strength of thousands of women. I felt as if these women were my comrades, my fellow strong women. Of course, there was one scene that struck me in particular that I felt extremely connected with. 

     The scene takes place toward the beginning of the story when Rose, the female pilot, gets trapped between two German fighter planes. She eventually is requested to follow the fighter planes to a German airfield; she has become a POW in the air. When she lands the plane and is asked to remove herself from the aircraft, she steps out of the pilots seat, but still has her helmet on. They order her to take her helmet off and a stream of curly brown hair falls out from underneath. The men's mouths gape open and suddenly they are saluting her and clapping for her; she fielded an excellent landing. Of course, there is much irony in this scene. The young woman, first of all is a POW and an American one at that. These mean saluting her were German airmen. At first I thought, well good for her to get such a response to landing that plane. But then I thought, if it had been a man pilot, they wouldn't have done that. What made her landing so special other than the fact that she was a woman pilot?! Nothing. As absurd as it was, the scene struck accord with me.

      You see, so often I am mistaken for a weak person. People always offer to help me carry things and stuff like that. Sometimes I think it's because I am little; a whopping five foot. But other times, I think it's probably because I am a woman. Today, like I said before, my best friend and I went kayaking in the river. Imagine the scene: two young women riding high in a Ford pick-up truck with two kayaks in the bed. First of all, a little lady is driving the truck. Second of all, she's going to have to get those kayaks out of the back of the truck. As I pulled into the parking lot, I could already see the crowd of men staring at me. Yes, boys, I had just hopped out of the cab of this truck. Now, look away. I knew they were anxiously waiting to see how I would approach getting the kayaks out of the bed of the truck. Shocking to admit, but I did it with no problem. Of course, my best friend was there to get her kayak out of the bed of the truck, too. What a sight to behold, two ladies carrying kayaks down the river. 

     I started to laugh at the absurdity. I really didn't think it was that big of a deal that we had just done that. However, the end of the craziness was no where in sight. As we were pulling the kayaks down the river to put in a bit further away from all the mud, an older gentleman stopped us. He asked if I had ever put in there before. I answered yes. He then told me that I should be careful because the tide was changing soon. Shocking, but I knew this to be true. Of course, he mentioned a few more river facts, all of which I knew. And as I nodded my head, he seemed to get more and more shocked. I wasn't sure why actually, but later it hit me. I'm a lady. He was a kind man, but he definitely thought we had no idea what we were doing. I thanked him for his conversation and we were on our merry way. 

     We enjoyed a paddle down stream and soon decided to head back. There were a lot of boats and jetskis out enjoying the Summer's last hoorah and so we often had to stop and change direction so we didn't tip. As we headed back, the river current got rougher and rougher and it was getting harder and harder to paddle back. Going against the current is the worst BUT it does build muscle mass. It was difficult but we continued. Suddenly, Mary Kate noticed some "fog" up ahead. Ironically, however, it wasn't fog, it was a downpour. We paddled for cover (because the last thing you want is a kayak filled with rain water) and took refuge under some kind peoples' dock. We made a video and then decided to head back out. We were only about half a mile away from where we put in. 

     The rain ceased as we paddled and the river current was much calmer, thus, easier for us to paddle. The boat ramp was in sight and the tide was coming in, so there would be much less mud to plow through. Of course, as we neared the boat ramp, another downpour. We laughed and this time, kept going. We were so close. We decided to take pictures, too, when we landed, because it was, after all, a monumental moment. There was one guy fishing who was enjoying the moment by laughing at us, but that soon changed when we hauled the kayaks up the ramp a bit. You see, it appeared that I was going to leave them there. But that was not the case. 

     I ran, still in the rain, to the truck, hopped up in the cab and reversed so I could turn around. Then I backed the truck down the ramp so that the two of use could swing the kayaks in the back and head home. We actually gained the attention of many as we did this quickly and efficiently. I smiled and laughed. As we drove home, I said, "Nothing is more liberating to me than being able to do things that people think women can't do...like handle her own kayak and drive a truck." My best friend just laughed.

     I am a feminist and often, I find it hilarious that women are always underestimated. Yes, I believe that there is such a feministic beauty in being genuine, caring, motherly, gentle. Those are the characteristics that make me a woman. But what also makes me a woman is my strength, both emotional and physical. To put things in perspective...my kayak weighs about 60 pounds. That's about the size of a toddler. Both of these facts enhances my feminism. As a woman, I may be expected to take care of children, babies and toddlers. I may be expected to pick them up and coo over them. Don't get me wrong, I loooooooove doing that. I love children and child-rearing is an amazing beauty all in it's own. But, if my toddler weighs 60 pounds, then why, when I pick up a kayak weighing about the same, is it a shock to everyone around. People, get a grip, I want to say. I don't, of course, because I'm a lady. I simply smile and behind my smile, I say, "Now, let me see you do that."

     I felt proud to be a lady today. Every day, I proud to be a woman, but today I felt especially proud. It wasn't that I already knew the things that our older man friend was telling us about the river. No, it wasn't because my Daddy had already taught me these things. And it wasn't that I got to drive Daddy's truck either (seriously...I NEED one of my own though). I learned to drive in that monster, so that was just taking the truck for a spin. And it actually wasn't the fact that my best friend and I paddled against the current in the pouring rain. That was just fun. What made me super proud was that all those strong men who were shocked when a lady hopped out of the cab of a pick-up truck and watched me as I lifted the kayaks out of the bed with ease, didn't offer an ounce of help. Now while that might make a few people upset (how dare they not help a damsel in distress), I enjoyed it. Why? Because they watched, they were shocked and they didn't offer help, because they knew I could do it. 

     I'm not always a radical feminist, but when I am, I lift kayaks out of trucks and paddle against the current in the pouring rain. Now I can't wait to see people's reactions when I do that as a nun. In the words of Mr. Mooney, "I AM WOMAN."

Please Excuse the English Major in Me While I Fascinate You With Some Literature :)

"Be grateful to God for testing you, as He did with all our ancestors." - Judith 8

"There is nothing I hate more than a man who is not serious about meals." - The Importance of Being Earnest

"I will die for you if you promise to love me in return." - Ancrene Riwle

     If I haven't said it before, I'm an English/Education major. Which means a few things: I love to diagram sentences for fun, I love GRAMMAR, I love Poetry Analysis and I LOVE ALL TYPES OF LITERATURE! However, I am also a Theology minor. Which means a few things: I love Jesus, I love apologetics, I love Scripture and I LOVE THE LITERATURE IN THE CHURCH (e.g. The Bible, The CCC, the Book of Canon Law, the encyclicals...). Put all of my studies together and you get one giant book nerd who happens to relate everything back to Catholicism in some way; or my discernment. 

     So here's the deal: Last week was rough. If you read my last blog post, you know. And I'll be honest that really until this morning at morning prayer (which I literally had to drag myself out of bed for, mind you), I was still mulling over my hardships of last week. Then, we had a reading from Judith in our morning prayer book. The very first line? The first quotation I gave you. Yep, imagine who starting laughing right away. Me. Hearing those words really gave me the extra umph I needed today and now, because of it, I feel I can write!

     In the past week in classes, we have covered many, many, many different types of literature. Granted, that's expected because all but two of my six classes are literature courses. YAYAYAY! Anyway, the past week's assignments were as follows: READ The Importance of Being Earnest, Ancrene Riwl, and The Chocolate War. If you've read any of those, you'll feed right in. If not, hold on for the ride of your life. The first is a play written in the Victorian Era, (1895), by Oscar Wilde. If you know me, you've come to realize that I simply adore sarcastic and satirical writing. Earnest fills that right away by using a play on words. It was a joy and a hoot to read. But now HOW on earth does this relate to my life now? In the play, food plays a huge part. Read above, again, the second quotation. I agreed right away when that line was spoken. 

     I've always mentioned that my favorite way to discern is over a good meal. I really believe that in preparing, eating and cleaning up after a good meal, one's guard truly comes down and people become more vulnerable and honest than in any other situation aside from sleep deprivation. You could blame my love for food on being Italian or being a Naz Acad Grad, but really it's a necessity of life and we all must depend on it. It's a normal human function, and great conversation comes out over a good meal. Therefore I totally concur that every one must take their meals seriously!!

    The third quotation I give you is from Ancrene Riwl which is actually a rule book, based on the Beneditine Rule, for Anchoresses (aka people like Julian of Norwich who practiced solitary, contemplative life). We read it in my English Literature to 1500's class as part of "Old English Literature" You might be thinking, "What is so great about a RULE BOOK?" Well, within the book there is a parable of the Christ-Knight figure. In the story, there is a young maiden after whom the Knight is pining. He attempts, without end, to gain her interest and love but she repeatedly refuses his love. Taking drastic measures the knight tells her He would die for her if she promised to love him. She agrees and he dies. Sound familiar? HELLO Crucifixion story!!! It was the single most romantic parable of Christ I had ever read. Granted, I've written some short stories about Christ in a modern light, as the great romancer, but truth is most people don't see Him that way. I do, partly because WHAT GIRL DOESN'T WANT A PRINCE WHO WOULD DIE FOR HER? The ultimate sacrifice, people, the fullest example of SELFLESS LOVE! Yeah, Jesus is pretty romantic. So, you can see how I easily fell in love with the story. It's sooooooooo good!

    Finally, The Chocolate War, for my Young Adult literature. Maybe you have read it? Maybe you liked it? Maybe you hated it? To each her own. So real quick, let's see. It's about a candy fundraiser in a private, all boy, catholic academy that is run by brothers, and everything goes haywire. It vaguely reminded me of the Magazine drive at my high school, the private, all girl, catholic academy run by the sisters. Like oh my gosh, did it sound familiar. However, we never got as nasty as the characters do in the book. But they're boys. The ironic thing was, I actually liked it. Even though I completely disagreed with every the book offered morally. And there wasn't a happy ending. I guess that's life. Regardless, it was a good book. Not something I would give my students to read, but still a good book.

     And so, there's my English lessons of the day put into a nutshell for you!! If you haven't read the books, read them. Let me know what you think. And then, I challenge you to find God or Jesus or Mary or some form of Catholicism in any book you read. Using Spiritual Reading books is cheating. Find a regular novel, one that wouldn't be associated with Religion and find God in it. I can promise you, He's there. And if reading isn't your thing. Try it with music. Yes, I've found God in Linkin Park and Eminem. Shocking, but true. Enjoy the challenge!