A blog sharing the journey of a young woman discerning her role in the world as a contemporary Catholic. Here she tells numerous stories of service, prayer, struggle, nuns, her students and her family. Each day is a beautiful one and why not spread the goodness?
"We loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
- Sarah Williams, "The Old Astronomer"
This time last week, I was admiring the falling snow from my bed, which I so strategically moved next to the window. I was attempting to sleep away a nasty version of the stomach flu in time for our second Senior retreat at school. I was also hoping to be fully recovered for Ash Wednesday, but the more I laid in bed and still felt horrible, the more I realized it was a possibility. In fact, my school principal encouraged me to stay home. As I sit here feeling a bit frigid, part of me wishes I was back in my nice, warm, comfy bed. But then I remember how I, with the help of a lot of my students, got over scurvy. I wouldn't trade those days for the world.
Scurvy. It's a disease more commonly associated with pirates and sailors, NOT high school teachers. It's a deficiency of Vitamin C and not commonly known about high school students. It also is very rare in today's day and age. However, when my student leaders (after panicking the entire day I was out sick from school) asked me about my illness and I told them it was the Norwalk Virus, also known as the Cruise Ship Virus, their imaginations immediately led to them thinking I had scurvy. Needless to say, in an all girls school, word that I had scurvy got out quickly. They say that laughter is the best medicine. To say that I was starting to feel much better because of all the laughing was an understatement. My neck, however, was still feeling kinda off.
It seemed that from all the sleeping I did the previous four days, my neck muscles got kinda stuck. There was a nice shot of pain each time I tried to move my neck even the tiniest bit. So, I iced it, took tons of advil and prayed I'd be able to get through the next three days of retreat. The amount of students who popped in throughout the day to see if any help was needed was astronomical. The amount of help I received from various teachers and administration was also astronomical. I was already counting so many blessings. By the time I was in the car with the student leaders, I felt like I was really going to be able to get through this.
Retreat was off to a great start. Everything was going as planned and we were even set to end a bit earlier than scheduled. The reflections, songs and small group sessions were seamless. I couldn't ask for a more perfectly easy time after just getting over my terrible illness. However, when I laid down in my bed after making sure everyone was in their rooms, the pain kicked in again. To say I got any sleep that night would be a lie. I tossed and turned until I watched the sun come up. At about 7:00, I found myself in the kitchen in tears because the pain was so bad. I found some ice and made myself some hot green tea as I waited for the next adult leader to come into the kitchen. My principal told me a few times the day before to see an urgent care doctor and I told her if it got any worse I would go, but I was trying my hardest to stay for the full duration of retreat. Well, the pain got worse and so, within the hour I was on my way with another adult leader to the closest urgent care. Yes, we left retreat for a few hours as I was diagnosed with cramped muscles and given a muscle relaxer.
When we returned to the retreat house, the students and adults were in the middle of a small group session. The two of us sat in Chapel as we waited; there was about fifteen minutes left. As I sat and waited (waited for the medicine to kick in and for the retreatants to return), I realized how vital those few hours were for me. Not only did I spend a few hours with someone I normally do not see in the hallways for more than five minutes at most, but I also had a strange humbling. I realized even more deeply something which I already knew. Whatever was happening at retreat was happening not because I was running the show and I had organized the entire thing with some help from my friends, but rather that it was entirely God's doing. Whether I was there or not, retreat was going to happen the way God intended.
The students were so supportive and gracious to my return. So many asked how I was feeling so many times throughout the next two days and always someone was there to help me out if I needed. Because of their gentleness and their intense support, my heart was being healed. I knew that this retreat was God's work, but I had previously felt like God used me to facilitate it. What I realized was that every moment is a miracle because God intends it to be a miracle. God wanted the retreat to happen and so he made it happen even without me. It was a humbling reminder that while I may be an instrument, who the devil might try to take me out whether by sickness of fatigue, God is bigger than that which seems to be a bump in the road. God has a plan; no matter what happens, He is going to make sure it happens. He knows how to steer around bumps in the road.
What I also realized even more deeply was that I am one person and one person only. Anything I do is a success only because so many people help me. I could never do half the things that Campus Ministry does without the help of students, teachers, faculty and administration. There's no way that it could be done without them and a bit of God's grace. Okay, a lot of God's grace. I believe that my "scurvy" was an instrument through which I was reminded of humility once again. Of course, it was just in time for the beginning of Lent.
With every seemingly negative piece of life, there is a positive outcome. I could have dwelt on the fact that I felt pretty crummy. But instead, I focused on how God was changing my life. He showed me that regardless, He's in charge. He showed me how capable my students are of letting God work in their lives. He showed me how good my friends are both in taking care of me and taking over when I was too drowsy to facilitate the retreat. He showed me how beautiful life is when we leave it up to Him. Of course, He also showed me how true it is that laughter is the best medicine. Because if I didn't laugh at my newest nickname (scurves) or my horrible attempt to be cool (RT for LOVE; RETWEET FOR RETREAT), I would have focused on the negative. I have so many students to thank, both the leaders and retreatants, for keeping me on my toes, keeping smiling and laughing and keeping me in the loop. I am so blesssed to be here and may my offering be stretched across the skies.
It's been a while and I should write more often. But I know that you're busy and I'm busy. Time seems to slip through my fingers now-a-days. Besides, even though I love to write, I would prefer to communicate in a different way most of the time.
Some days it gets lonely in my office, even if I'm right next to the Chapel. Sometimes I find myself gazing off into my memories and thinking about how often I got to see you. It used to be every day that I would see you on my daily adventures. Of course, some days I would have to resort to being satisfied with a phone call. But even still, at least I got to hear your voice almost every day. Now, I have to make myself pencil in a date to simply call you. It's not even a date to see you, but only to hear your voice. And it's rare that I feel like I have time to call you. I wish I had more time. By the time I get home from school, eat dinner and catch up on work, it's too late to call the convent OR I'm just too tired to carry on a conversation. But when I'm lonely in my office, I sometimes look at the phone and almost pick it up to call you. There are little moments throughout my day that make me think, "Oh I have to tell her." But it's the lonely, speechless, sometimes empty moments in my office throughout the day that send me deep into my memories. And so, thank you for those.
Thank you for all the times you willing (or unwilling) opened your arms and embraced me. Thank you for understanding my cuddly nature and my need for hugs all the time. Thank you for understanding that I love to hold hands with you and walk arm in arm for any distance with you. Thank you for every second of every minute of every moment that you walked with me like that. Because you gentle hands reminded me to be more gentle with others and with myself.
Thank you for all the times you answered a late phone call or a late knock at the door. Thank you for the times when I would pop into the office and you would simple drop whatever you were doing to talk to me. Thank you for knowing that even though I didn't tell you those times were urgent, that they were urgent matters of the heart that needed to be dealt with at that very moment. Thank you for knowing that when I called and asked to chat, it was usually better if I came over in person because I probably needed a hug. Thank you for all the advice you gave me and all the times you listened to me painstakingly try to put into words how I was feeling. Because you showed me that no matter what, I should always give people the time they need; I am Jesus' messenger in any moment and His message is love.
Thank you for all the times you let me cry. Thank you for handing me the tissues when I had a few tears escaping from my eyes (how dare they!). How I wish you were here now; I could use a few right now. Thank you also for offering up your sleeves willingly (or unwillingly) to the times when tissues just weren't enough and I needed to let my mascara rub off on something softer. Thank you, God, for making habits a dark color. Thank you for the times when you didn't judge me for snot uncontrollably running down my nose and into whatever scarf I was wearing. Thank you for holding me, with your strong but gentle arms, to let me know that I could cry as long as I needed to over whatever I needed to. Thank you for sharing my tears of joy and of pain. Nothing means more to me than when you cry, too. You let me know you're human, too. Thank you, because you showed me that from the very beginning, from birth, tears are a sign of life, not weakness.
Thank you for all the times you filled in for mom. Thank you for willingly (or unwillingly) getting close enough to catch my sickness, just to feel my head for a temperature. Thank you for sacrificing the back of your hand to what I'm sure feels like a small flame of a temperature. Thank you for sending me home from school and telling me that I need to go to bed and stop pushing myself. Thank you for letting me rest in your office. Thank you, because without you, I would have kept going and going and going.
Thank you for all the times you tassled my curly hair or high fived me. Thank you for the moments of laughter and joy. Thank you for laughing so hard with me that both of us had tears in our eyes. Thank you for understanding that despite the fact that I am mature for my age, I still need to be a kid sometimes. Thank you for being a kid with me. Thank you, also, for not judging me for my really, loud, obnoxious laughter that more times than not leads to snorting and squeals. Thank you for running through sprinklers with me, sharing stories about all the times you got pulled over, sharing the biggest joke or even letting me give you a tattoo - a temporary one, of course. Thank you for these moments because I might have forgotten how to laugh and to stop taking myself so seriously.
Thank you for the moments when you unleashed my creative side. Thank you for the moments when you asked me to write something from the heart, create an exciting creature from recycled materials, a piece of artwork, a retreat, a reflection, anything. Thank you for unleashing the creative juices in anyway possible and helping me believe that I can stand in front of a crowd and give a motivational speech. Thank you for letting me be me by not being me on any stage. Thank you for being my silent cheerleader in the back of the auditorium. Because not only did you teach me to never stop creating, but you also showed me how much a simple "Great Job" can mean.
Thank you for all the times you taught me something new - which really was every day. I can't list all the things you taught me because my brain has expanded so much and some of what you taught me has been tucked in the deep recesses of my mind. But thank you for never giving up on me when I didn't do so well on a test. Thank you for cheering me on with a smile each time I got something right. Thank you for watching me applicate what I learned to modern things. Thank you for always watching the light bulb go off. Because not only did you teach me to never stop learning and to enjoy learning, but you also showed me how to be the best teacher to my own students.
And finally, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being the face of Jesus for me every day. Thank you for loving me despite being upset with me for one thing or another. Thank you for saying, "I love you" back when I embarrass you by screaming at you from some place on campus or at work. Thank you for saying it back when I tell you, even though students probably shouldn't tell their teachers how much they love them. Thank you for knowing that I don't just say it but that I mean it. And thank you for finally believing me; I do love you so much. And thank you for helping me believe that I can be loved, too. Because to be honest, when you're a sister or you want to be a sister, it's harder to say it and it's harder to believe it. At least that's what I think. "I love you" can never be said enough. So, I love you.
My dear sister, I write this today because I haven't taken enough time to write it until now. I write it publicly because I think everyone deserves to know how awesome you and how wonderful. I think everyone deserves to know what you did for me. I write it because I know there are so many people out there that you've touched in some way who haven't been able to say the things I have. These words are their words, too. And I say because I don't think you know how wonderful and awesome you are. You are. You have changed my life and the life of so many people. Thank you.
"By the seventh day, God had finished the work He had been doing.
So, on the seventh day, He rested from all His work.
Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy."
- Genesis 2:2
Mondays. Everyone loves Mondays, right? Especially rainy, cold, icy, wet Mondays, right? I know I sure do. Okay...maybe not. Maybe not to all of the aforementioned love of Mondays. I woke up today feeling like I was robbed of hours of sleep. I felt like I just tucked myself in when the alarm went off at 5:00AM this morning. And at 5:45, when I finally rolled out of bed (I hit snooze at least three times...), I literally dragged myself through the motions of getting ready. Of course, walking outside to see my car laced in ice was just another reason for my to go back inside to my nice, warm, comfy bed on this miserable Monday morning.
Mondays. On Mondays, I have a series of duties to complete before first block. One of them includes running a student retreat leader meeting. I got the girls ready to go on their tasks for the day and they were chattering away, laughing and enjoying each others' presence. They even had me laughing a bit on this miserable Monday day. Needless to say, they were a bit of sunshine on this cloudy day. One of my other duties is to make sure a Communion Service happens. Students do most of the Communion Service, but I'm there to facilitate the entire thing. It's a chance for the school community to come together in prayer and communion. Of course, as I was sitting there and my eyes were doing their best to stay open, a student read the first reading from Genesis. Suddenly, my heart chuckled. God took naps.
I had been thinking on my way to school this morning about how it felt my weekend flew by. I began to think of how for the next few weekends, I will not have any free time. Between running various retreats and service weekends, to spending time at my alma mater for alumnae weekend to literally having way too much to do, I will not be able to sleep in on have a rest day. (Sidenote: we ironically have off for President's Day so maybe that's my day?) Suddenly, I was experiencing so much anxiety. Not a single day of rest.
When I was in college, the Sisters used to tease me about my morning routine on most days (aside from when I was student teaching). I would hit the alarm at 6:50, run to the bathroom, brush my teeth, throw some jeans on and run out the door to make it for prayers at 7:10. After Mass, I'd go back to my room, hop on my bed with the intention of doing something productive and eventually fall back asleep. Not all of the Sisters knew this, but when they found out, well...you can imagine the teasing I got. Of course, many of the Sisters knew (only because I had them for class and would openly state my after class plans) that I more times than not took a nap after class. I most definitely took a nap after class if I didn't go back to sleep after Mass. Now, before I go on, the disclaimer is that more often than not, I wouldn't go to bed at night until 12:00. Remember, it's important to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night!
To say I miss being able to take naps is an understatement. I sincerely feel like a piece of me is missing when I don't get to take a nap. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. But seriously, I do miss taking naps. I also miss having a few Sundays of rest. Some people would most likely answer, "Welcome to the real world, kid." But is this the real world God intended for us, when He rested on the seventh day? I don't think so.
If we read Genesis in it's truest form, God created a lot of things, saw that they were good. All of His work He considered good, it was good. God did good work. Because He did good work, on the seventh day He rested from all the good work that He did. So does this mean we should always rest on the seventh day? Well, yes. But this story of creation is two-fold. Not only should we set a day aside for rest but we should also spend the other six days doing good work.
Sundays in today's society are no longer reserved for a day of worship. They are set aside for CYO games, catching up on any homework, and of course, working around the house, right? More times than not, I'm running out of church onto the next activity. When will it stop? When will the running around stop? Maybe I should pencil into my calendar "REST" on every Sunday. Resting is important not only for the physical and emotional but for the spiritual, as well. That's the first part of this two-fold call from Genesis.
The second part - doing good work all week long. If I feel tired toward the seventh day, I need to ask myself: did I tire myself by doing good work? Was there good in everything that I did? Did I make a difference? Did I preach the Gospel? Did I put the Gospel into action? Did I do enough? I know I am called to preach the gospel (and use words when necessary). I know I am called to do good for the work of the Lord; for His greater honor and glory. I know this is my calling.
And so, on my day of rest, I'll pray that my six days of work should be productively good for God's greater glory. And after my six days of good work, I will rest. Because honestly, I don't think God is calling me to be a workaholic. God definitely rested. He took naps. In our all too busy society, we do not rest enough. We do not take the time to breathe; we just keep on running. Many of us do such good work during the week - God gives us a day to rest. So, I think for the next few weeks, I'll pencil in some rest time. Just because, of course, I need to get back in the habit of taking rest time. And naps.
Last night I was out to dinner with a Sister friend of mine. When the bill came, I pulled out the usual, "I've got dinner, you get the tip?" Admittedly, I almost never have cash on me. Sister laughed when I said this and I went on further to say: I'm part of that plastic generation. One of my worst fears was that I would get on the turnpike without cash in my pocket and get stuck. So, I upgraded to an EZ-Pass. Just today, I was cleaning out the backseat of my car (finally) and found two dollars. While I was surprised at finding the two dollar bills, I was more shocked at the fact that there was paper money floating around. Life is easy with plastic. But, I guess that comes with my generational obsession with technology.
When I started my new job, I was told that this school was a technology school. They asked if I would have any problem transitioning. When it came to computers, I was always pretty savvy in figuring things out. I could handle almost any computer problem from software to hardware. But they problem was that I was used to PCs. My school is almost entirely Apple. Which, to be honest, I think is pretty cool. Of course, on my first day of work, I was sitting in my desk googling how to turn on a desktop Mac. Within seconds, I was watching a YouTube video showing me where the on button was. Instantaneous.
The two weeks before school started I was thinking of every which way I could weave technology into the classroom and into Campus Ministry. When I was student teaching, we always created mock Tweets to characters in our stories and Instagram accounts. Sometimes, we even made Facebook accounts. I found tons of websites that allowed for creative and safe ways to do these activities. However, with each student having an iPad, I could easily have them create professional accounts on social media. It's a two-fold lesson - the subject material AND technological integrity. We've been able to go completely paperless in my classes and it's been a great adaptation to our growing technological world. Not to mention, it's also good for our forests.
Using technology in the classroom has been so easy for me and my students. But I needed to figure out how to reach the rest of my students in my Campus Ministry office in a new way. So I created a Twitter account for the students to follow and get updates from. We haven't gotten all the way to Instagram level yet, but we are working on it. Some of my students say it really helps them stay in the know about events happening through the office.
Okay great, so I'm adapting all these social media efforts to my students. But, as shocking as this may be, I have another life outside of school. Some of my students know about my blog, but eh that means they have to go ahead and find it, read it and by the time they get to the website, six twitter notifications popped up and they've forgotten. There are plenty of people who read my blog who don't have Twitter, but I know there are plenty of people who read my blog that DO have twitter. Yesterday, as I watching my views go up and up and up, I thought: I need to reach more people.
From the very first blogpost back in October 2011, I've been posting the link to my personal Facebook account. It reaches a good percentage of my "friends" and every so often, I'll get a comment from someone I wouldn't expect to be interested. But even my students have said, Twitter is the place to be on Social Media these days. Facebook is for old people (fyi...they mean me). So while I was thinking about being part of the plastic generation yesterday, I thought about how a lot of people in my generation and the generation before me are facebookers. But there's a younger generation out there that needs to here my faith messages. I decided to create a Twitter account.
A lot of people say that if Jesus were here now, He wouldn't be on Social Media. But if we look around, He's already there. Friends, the Pope is on Twitter. I believe that Jesus would be wherever the young people are. And folks, the young people are on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Jesus would be on His a game about it. He wouldn't be obsessed with it as many people are today, but He'd be present there, too. I figure this, if people like myself are going to get anywhere with young people, we need to be where they are. I can't preach at church, because they aren't there. Take it to the streets. In our technology obsessed world, we need to start using technology for the betterment of society. It's too much to ask teenagers and middle-schoolers to look up a website. I need to put it right in the palm of their hands, straight to their smart phones. I need to be blowing up their Twitter feed with positive messages.
It's almost as if today, if one doesn't have a Twitter, one doesn't exist. "Oh who are you? Are you Facebook? Do I follow you on Twitter?" Maybe some would argue that I've fallen deeper into the social media vortex, but I'd like to say that I've given myself a chance to reach more people with Jesus' word. Young women aren't going to come knocking on the doors of the convent like they used to do; they're going to google Religious Communities, try to find them on Facebook, and if they have a Twitter, woah watch out! Young people don't read mail anymore, and even emails are usually ignored. It has to go right to their hands, a quick buzz from Twitter. This is the next generation, the generation full of vocations hiding inside hearts not sure how to get in touch.
So today, I officially launch my Twitter account: @lesstraveled92 (roadlesstraveled was already taken...). If you have Twitter, follow me. If you don't have a Twitter, don't feel left out; you can find the twitter feed on the right side of my blog. Just scroll down. If you're a young person looking for more information on Sisters and Religious Life, try following various different Twitter accounts (there are some pretty cool ones out there!!). As for all you vocation directors out there, try Twitter out. See what you can do with a simple # and 140 characters!
but in our whole deportment, and particularly in our dress,
our walk, our conversation, and all similar actions."
- St. Alphonsus Ligouri
If you were to randomly walk in my Catholic Social Teaching class today or yesterday or even last week you would probably have some of the following initial thoughts: where is the rest of the class? are there really that many students out sick? why are the lights off? why are they listening to music during prayer? and many more. The rest of my class does not exist; I have a whopping six this quarter. While many teachers may panic at that thought, I have fallen in love with this notion. Usually all six are present, however, it still makes the class seem small. We usually leave the lights off because the sun shines perfectly through the windows; why use extra energy when natural energy is sufficient? And finally, what better way to pray than by praying twice (St. Augustine)? However, also upon walking into my class these past few days, you would have heard conversations concerning the be C word. That's right Chastity. You would have seen it on the board, on our iPads, in our Google Docs and definitely on our lips. Chastity in Social Justice? But of course.
I typically do not post about controversial topics but the Spirit has really been moving me to write about this topic. Besides, I have no qualms preaching the usually unpopular Social Justice views of the Church in my class (maybe it's because they pay me? Just kidding!) so why shouldn't I continue my call to share awareness? Upon first thought, one may not think that Chastity has a place in a Social Justice classroom. One might also think that Humanae Vitae is a Church Document rather suited for college students studying Marriage and Family, not High School students. But each time I assign the 1968 Papal Encyclical written by Pope Paul VI, I am continuously made proud of my students who pull apart the document and summarize and understand it. Today, my students finished reading a part of Humanae Vitae and once again, I was the proud teacher.
Without trying to get too heady, Article 2 of Humanae Vitae addresses various issues permeating our society today such as contraception, IVF, responsible parenthood, marriage. It indirectly leads to conversations about abortion, euthanasia, adoption, and other beginning/end of life issues about which Catholic Social Teaching is concerned. So now, you, in brief, understand why I require my students to read this document. A document which, by the way, I have seen college students struggle with understanding. Last week, I introduced our reading of Humanae Vitae by putting the word CHASTITY on the board. After getting a brief definition from a student, I quickly put a slash through the word and asked for results of a negligence to practicing chastity. The conversation quickly filled up the front board and the entire side board (yes, despite technology permeating the hallways of the school, I still used chalk and subsequently fulfilled my teacher dream of getting chalk all over my pants) with Social Justice issues that stem from a negligence to practicing Chastity. Imagine their surprise when such huge Social Justice issues were connected with such a "simple" topic of Chastity.
My students are aware of the fact that I am 4-5 years older than they are. While many professors would encourage would be teachers to NOT reveal their ages to their students, especially if there is a small age gap, I feel it is necessary for my students to know that I am a part of their generation. There is a comfort in the classroom when it comes to discussing various topics and also, my "young age" stands as proof that it is possible to live a CATHOLIC life and still be normal (a relative description, of course). My favorite part of teaching CST is the beginning of life issues, because so many start with Chastity, a topic so rarely touched in today's society. Why is it my favorite? Well, because being so young and so close in age to my students, I can see the thinking gears going when I mention that Chastity is possible.
As I was preparing for my class today, I was blessed to talk to a good friend's mom on the phone. She is coming to guest speak to my class in two weeks about adoption and we were going over some topics of discussion. I caught her up on what my students will know by the time she comes to visit and somehow, we got to talking about reading Humanae Vitae and practicing Chastity. She mentioned how rare it is that young people hear about the importance of chastity from other young people. We started talking about how women are so much more under attack from the devil because of our vulnerability. While it is true that both man and woman are needed for the creation of a new child, the woman carries the new life. Without her temple, the child could not be born. Eve, a woman (in case you forgot) was targeted before Adam because women are naturally modeled to be more emotionally vulnerable than men. It is a beautiful thing, truly, but the devil knows this to be true and attacks it at any given chance. Today, this is also true. He continues to attack the vulnerability of women. He confuses the minds of young women by falsely showing physical actions as emotional love. He confuses the minds of young women by giving them every "good" reason to neglect the practice of chastity.
I brought this up to my students in class after we finished reading and summarizing Humanae Vitae. Of course, teaching in an all girl school usually means that students are chopping at the bit to discuss feminism at any given chance. Isn't it a feminist argument in talking about being under attack by the devil? I think so. I took advantage of our class today (a true teachable moment) to talk gently about Chastity. Many Catholics grow up with the belief that "sex is bad;" a very Puritan take on relationships. However, the Church believes quite the opposite. Humanae Vitae clearly says that the marital acts between a man and woman are good; procreative and unitive yielding a beautiful marriage. With very logistical reasons, I explained to my students why the Church believes in Chastity and the thinking gears were turning as they began to understand that sex within marriage is a beautiful thing, especially after a life of Chastity is pursued before marriage.
The truth is this: a life of chastity pursued before marriage yields fidelity in a marriage. By one's physical action of waiting for marriage, one proclaims, by his or her body, that the physical gift of self belongs only to the spouse. It proclaims, "I will wait until I verbally give my whole self to you, to give my whole self physically." A practice of chastity before marriage yields greater, more wholesome marriages and families. A practice of chastity leads to true, loving sexual relationships with the purpose of being unitive and procreative. Of course, all of this can be found in Church Documents and Encyclicals. But where is Chastity in society?
Having sex is so often regarded as a right of passage of sorts in relationships. For example, if two people have been in a relationship for six or nine months (or any given amount of time) and not yet have had sex, then something must be wrong, right? Wrong. There is the familiar concept of getting to second and third base and scoring a home run. But why? Does it grind my gears when people ask I've "done anything yet" in my current relationship? Yes. Because quite honestly, yes I've done some things....some things like watch Netflix, go ice skating, hold hands, go out to dinner, go for walks in the snow with my dog, go on wholesome double dates with my ten-year old Sister and her 8 year old boy best friend. But "done anything yet" is said with the indication that is the question is not "what type of dates?" but rather "what level of sexual achievement have you reached?" Why is it so hard to believe that chastity is practiced? Because the devil permeates society by saying that sex is the only way to express love.
My students know how much chastity permeates my heart. It is not only by my personal witness and story telling, but rather my passion in classroom instruction, that they understand the importance of chastity in my own life. In the beginning of the quarter, I start the course by explaining to them that we are Princesses because we share in the royalty of God both because we are made in His image and because He has made use with such great price. God intends us each to be a pearl of great price, not fake gold. (Trust me when I say, pearl earrings cost way more than gold plated sterling silver). God's intent was to make us so beautiful and for each of us to recognize the beauty in each other. I am a pearl and my students are pearls; I am not to treat them like cheap gifts. I am not to treat them less than their true value of Imago Dei and vice versa. The same is implied when it comes to chastity. My students are young women to be treated by young men as the pearls of great price. They are to be treated as true gifts.
I tell my students often that "what you wear and how you act is what you advertise." By their actions and attire they proclaim a price tag. They are pearls of great price but society so often encourages us to cheapen ourselves to a "lesser price." That is the devil after us. He puts false advertisement on sex; there is no disclaimer about the negative effects. The devil falsely proclaims that sex empowers whereas the reality is that chastity empowers. My virginity is a gift I am saving. We wouldn't give a strand of pearls to just anyone, right? If I am called to marriage, that gift is reserved for my husband and it is a gift he will receive only after we say "I do." If I am called to religious life, it is a gift I offer to Jesus and I ask Him to make me fruitful in spiritual ways.
Practicing chastity is not easy and it is a daily prayer of mine. I pray for the ability to remain chaste and for my students to find the beauty in remaining chaste. I tell my students every day that we must be women who, "when we wake up in the morning, the devil says, 'oh crap, she's up.'" By my very prayers for chastity, I am already stomping all over the devil's plan to lessen my price tag. By practicing chastity, we ruin the plans of the devil. If that is not empowering for women, I don't know what is.
Now, I was going to wait until Valentine's Day to share the following with many of you, but I feel this topic lends itself to the story. It is with full understanding that I very much still feel the desire and call to religious life that I was asked out on a date many times my Senior year. It was with that strong desire still permeating my heart that I denied the request for a date. Of course, the pure pursuing continued the summer after graduation until finally, after much prayer, I felt God was asking me to try the dating scene one more time. (I think I will share that story on Valentine's Day...be sure to check back!) Being 22 and 23 years old, there is no question that the sexual "norms and pressures" surround our relationship. But there is nothing more empowering than hearing, "I will wait for you." You see, he waited a whole year (maybe more) for me to simply agree to go on a date. He promises me that waiting longer for the beauty of sex is worth the wait. He tells me that it makes him stronger as a Catholic man. He tells me that I am the pearl of great price and I am beautifully deserving chastity. Of course, what truly melts my heart is when he tells me that he knows religious life is still a viable option for me. He knows that I may very well enter religious life, even after dating him. He knows that our dating relationship is part of the discernment process. It is with this knowledge that he reminds me that there is no way he could ask me to give up my gift prematurely if it is meant to be given to Jesus.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention this: when I teach CST, I am pray for gentleness. Many Social Justice issues are wake-up calls to my students. However, our Church preaches gentleness and compassion overall. It would not be following the example of Pope Francis if I did not mention compassion toward those who may have read this and felt that it was too late to practice chastity. Statistics say that teenagers and even children are losing their innocence sooner and sooner. It is with much compassion that I address the beginning of life issues formerly mentioned in this post and even greater compassion that I address chastity. I remind my students, especially when the question of "am I going to hell now?" comes up, of the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery. Jesus said, "Let the one without sin be the first to cast the stone." My job as teacher is not to condemn but rather to love the sinner not the sin. Pope Francis encourages us to love unconditionally, without judgement. And so I say this, when talking about chastity, I remind my students that there is always a chance for starting over, for reconciliation. When an expensive piece of jewelry gets chipped or upset in some way, we take it to the jeweler to be fixed and refurnished. Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation is our jeweler, fixing the dents, cracks and scrapes in our pearls of great price.
Living out chastity is so difficult in our society today. Many of our Social Justice issues can be traced back to a negligence to practicing chastity, however, now is the perfect time to start anew. Now is the time to begin living out chastity for ourselves and being that example for our young people. Now is the time to start learning about how we can be Social Justice Advocates simply by living out chastity. And of course, now is the time to start promoting healthy dating relationships that lead to beautiful and wholesome marriages. Now is the time to recognize our worth as the pearl of great price. Now is the time to up the price on our price tag!
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