"A good mother is irreplaceable."
- Adriana Trigiani
A good mother is irreplaceable and I have an inexhaustible number of good mothers including my own mother. I know this because every time I get a case of the cold, flu, sniffles or insane coughing, the nuns get a case of "The Mommies." It all started Friday night, when my congestion began...as soon as I finished work and headed around the bend (which is a long, dark, scary hallway through the kitchen mind you...that apparently only the real deals can handle) to Formation, I was met with two of my close nunny mommies, Sister Eileen and Sister Mary, both of whom advised me to go to bed early after they asked me if I went through the multiple step pre-caution system at the Fortress Portress which really just included me de-germing everything before and after work with Clorox wipes. As I got sicker and more congested through the week, I was getting various Mommy Sick Tips. Last night, which was the peak of my illness so far, I had a nasty cough, I used most of the tissues in the Portress Office and definitely was losing my voice. Not only did multiple sisters advise me to drink my fluids, but many also were telling me just to sleep, rest and not go crazy (like normal). Sister Honora, who is also sick, came in from work while the sisters were at prayers and we just sat together feeling the breeze come through both the open windows. Needless to say, I was having a bit of a hot flash probably from a friendly fever. Later that night, Sister Cathy said she knew I was on portress because she heard me coughing before she even came through the door...oops. It seems I have so many loving and comforting mothers, not just when I am sick but also at many other times during the year. When I am away from home and I need a mother, one of the sisters always steps up to the plate. I am blessed.
Since it is National Vocations Awareness Week, I figured I would take my many mothers as an example of the vocation of Spiritual Motherhood. I tell my cousin that when I am a sister, I will have more kids than physically possible. Of course, that sounds so strange at first. Nuns usually aren't mothers at first sight, you see. They do not have biological children of their own, this is very true, but they have blessed so many children with the gift of having a Mother. I see myself as a teacher but I know, too, that somewhere along the line I will be working with younger children. Both as a teacher and a caretaker, I will be a mother, like the sisters are for me, to my students. Some may not have real-life mothers for various reasons, but many of my students, especially the younger ones will need a motherly figure while at school.
One of the greatest examples of Spiritual Motherhood I have ever seen is my dear friend, Sister Jean. Every morning when I drop my little Lizzie off when I am home, Sister Jean not only has a smile and hug for Lizzie but also for me. She is more than willing to converse with me for a half an hour while at the same time greeting every child by name as they walk through the door in the morning. I have known her to do this for as long as I have known her, which is two years. However, on the last day home for me, I was dropping Lizzie off at school when I saw Sister Jean walk up to the car in front of me. She not only opened the door for the boys, but she picked up the youngest's backpack, slung it on her shoulder, and then picked up the little Pre-Kindergartner, because he was still too little to jump out of the big SUV like his older brother. She then placed his feet on the ground and held his hand as they walked together to the front door of the school where she gave him his backpack and led him inside. She simply gave a whole new meaning to Spiritual Motherhood for me.
Now there are a few sisters who I have told many times that they have been such a mother to me. One of those sisters is Sister David, who took me under wing when I was baby Freshmen in High School. I had her as a teacher for the last period of the day, and often when I was feeling under the weather, she would send me home with her Mommy Sick Tips of drinking tea with honey and sleeping in the next morning. She sometimes would even encourage me to take a day off just to catch up my immune system. When I was having a rotten day and just wanted to cry, I would sometimes go to Chapel which I knew to be my prayer space. She would just know, like a mother always does, and would casually slip into the pew next to me and pray with me. And if I needed them, she always had tissues for me in her pocket. Of course, she was never without a hug or a shoulder to cry on.
I once had the following conversation with one of my high school English professor, Dr. Roche, a year after I graduated. It was a known fact among many of my friends then that I was discerning religious life, but most of the professors were out of the loop. However, many had their speculations and often they would casually bring it up in conversation. The conversation went like this: "Becca, I think you would make such a good mother. You are so caring and loving and you would sacrifice anything in the world for your children just like you do your friends." "That's so sweet, Dr. Roche, but..." "Oh I know, and because I know you'd make a good mother, you'll make a great sister. Because in order to be a sister, you must first possess the gifts of a mother. You'll be wonderful."
I had never truly thought about that, but in all honesty he was right. All of the sisters I have known, have that motherly twinkle in the eye. Whether it was a gentle smile on the day of my hardest exam, or a hug on one of my rough days, or even a tissue from their habit pocket on a day when I was struggling with the sniffle, they had it. And each sister possessed a different motherly twinkle because no two sisters are identically alike. Now some sisters may say they became a sister because they would never have been able to handle children of their own, but in the end those have been some of the sisters that were the most motherly toward me in their own way. They may not have a hug, but they gave me the friendship of a mother to her daughter, which then transpired to a sister to a sister.
Sisters answer a calling to love in all forms, love for children, love for families, love for the sick, love for the uneducated, love for the poor, love for all people. They are called to sacrifice a biological family to make the world their family and thus become mothers to the people of world. And while I know that sacrifice is a difficult one and often I battle with it, thinking about how much I would love to hold my own baby in my arms, I know that God may be calling me to be a mother to many babies who have no mother at all through my vocation as a religious sister. The stories God has planned for me are a beautiful piece of literature.
And now for a little song that I love to dedicate to my own mother:
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