Our Lady of the Most Holy Mattress

"Those who dream by day are cognizant of 

many things which escape those who only dream by night."

- Edgar Allan Poe

   Up until Friday night I have spent almost six weeks away from my bed in my bedroom in good ol' Croydon. One might think that any amount of time away from one's bed is a recipe for sleepless nights, but I have been blessed with the ability to sleep anywhere. I can sleep on the plane, in the car, on the train. I can sleep by the pool (sometimes in the pool ON A FLOATATION DEVICE), in the park, on Back Campus, in the grass, on the sand, on a bench, on a picnic blanket. I can sleep at my desk, sitting straight up in a chair, at a table, in a pew, in the middle of a book, in the middle of a movie. I can sleep almost anywhere and be rock solid asleep. In almost any place, the moment I lay my head on a pillow or something to "pillow" my head, I can fall asleep. Ironically enough it is when I am at home that I cannot fall asleep with ease. However, many times people have asked me if I have a hard time falling asleep when I tell them my sleeping habits. 

    It was the first day of CREW, well my first night actually. While CREW had started two days prior, I was the late bloomer coming Tuesday due to my Orientation Leader obligations. The girls had shifted down the hall to their bedrooms while the Sisters had stayed put in our makeshift community room. We had taken up residence in one of the residence halls at Holy Family University and let me tell you what an adjustment that was for me, an IU girl through and through so used to the IU living styles. On the second floor, we were all split up into quads and were using the lounge on the floor as our community room. I think this was an adjustment for everyone, especially the sisters. Anyway, as we sat in our makeshift community room, the Sisters were slicing and dicing some strawberries for the following morning's breakfast! I sat down across from my AE and asked her what I could do to help. Perhaps she saw the tiredness in my eyes, but if I know my AE, I know that she simply knew I was tired from ten days at IU working with Orientation. So, before I could even grab a knife to start helping her, she told me to march on down the hallway and into my bed. I couldn't disobey, or even put up a fight. My own fatigue dragged me down the hall.

     After quite a few days of intense service work, prayer and reflection, with so many beautiful sisters and young women, I couldn't help but feel the exhaustion. In fact, after my food shopping excursion with Sister Ang, I found myself almost ready to fall over in the Hospital Convent Kitchen. That's when Sister Ang sat down and then told me to do the same. She whispered to me the perks of being an older woman: you can sit down whenever you want and no one will judge you. At 21 years old, I had to laugh. That was the second time that week someone told me, in a very nice way, "You're not young anymore." I guess it IS all downhill from here, haha. But no, really...I am still young, and my heart and soul definitely think so. But I can honestly say I learned a very valuable lesson over the course of the past six weeks. 

     Like I said, I spent six weeks away from my bed in my home in good ol' Croydon. On Friday night, as soon as I came home, I sat on my bed, closed my eyes and didn't open them until the next morning. I had no intention of falling asleep with the light on, in the same outfit I had worn all day, or with my belongings still in my car, but the exhaustion hit me like a 500 lb. truck. I'm glad I had the intelligence to bring in my Teddy Bear when I walked through the front door, otherwise that first sleep in my own bed would have been a nightmarish one, haha! I slept a full ten hours that night, and after Mass at St. K's, Sister Mary Joan was soon setting me up with a strong cup of coffee (she's a smart lady). That Saturday, I had done something I have never done in my whole life: prayed all day to Our Lady of the Most Holy Mattress.

     We had joked the night before, my AE and I, at our CREW picnic about the Novena to Our Lady of the Most Holy Mattress. Every so often, my Sisters come up with some crazy prayers and devotions. For example, "Mother Cabrini move/park this machiney." This was another one. There really is no Lady of the Most Holy Mattress, but the truth is, there probably should me. All of us, from sisters, to student leaders to retreatants had been exhausted by Friday night. And it was definitely time to start the novena...of sleep. 

    In talking to my dear Sister Bernice yesterday, I realized the valuable lesson I needed to learn. I can't say it's because I am not young anymore, but rather perhaps, because I am still young. Babies need to take naps every day...and so do I. But I sometimes joke my need for a nap is me taking a role in the life of an Abuelita (a grandma). So is my desire for so much sleep because I am still young or because I am not young anymore? Regardless, the desire and NEED for sleep is essential. I think sometimes I forget that aspect of being human. I have come to peace in knowing that I am only human and I cannot do everything I am asked. I have learned that sometimes I need to say no (and I am practicing.) But what I haven't learned really is the importance of sleep. Only a few years ago, I would be able to stay up late and get up early. While I still do that now in college, I almost always take a daily nap. I used to be ashamed of this need for a nap but now I am at peace. Sleep is an essential thing that I need to function. I love coffee but sometimes it just doesn't do the trick. I learned over the past six weeks that if I myself am not rested, someone will suffer whether it's those I am working with, those I am working for or myself. I can try to be invincible, but I know I cannot be. So, while I will most likely still stay up until odd hours of the night and still get up at the crack of dawn, I will make sure to always, always, always say my prayers to Our Lady of the Most Holy Mattress. That is, I will always find time for a little cat nap. I have a feeling this might soon become my new favorite devotion.