Are We Really Human?

"To hurt is as human as it is to breathe."

- J.K. Rowling

"We're all human aren't we? Every human life is worth the same

and worth saving."

- J.K. Rowling

   I absolutely love when my pastor and I are on the same wavelength. What I mean is that I love those days when I am sitting in the pew at Mass, reflecting on the Scriptures and suddenly, when Father starts the Homily it's the same exact thing I was thinking. It takes all of my self-control to resist running up to the altar and high-fiving him. Today, was one of those days.

   When I got asked if I would read at Mass today, I was overjoyed. I read often at school and I had been missing it. However one thing I was not looking forward to was reading the extremely long readings from Genesis. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing the stories of our very beginnings and I think the history behind the whole church is fantastic. The stories of Abram and Sarai cut to the core of my very being. But, I truly feel for the lectors during these days of long church history. However, I got really lucky today as it is the Feast of the Apostle, Thomas. You know, the doubting one. He's the one everyone always gives grief to. Like, Thomas, we didn't need to see JC and we knew it was him. Like Blessed are we (more so than you) 'cus we already knew. Hey Thomas, you just had to stick your hand in His side, didn't you? Just believe already. WOAH! Guys! Please! Give the guy a break!

    It's so true, there is something to be said for those who can truly believe without having to see. But just how as often we say to the child who says her homework is done, "I won't believe it til I see it," we so often say it to God. God says to us, "Good things are on their way," and we only respond, "Well I won't believe it til I see it." The truth is, I like Thomas. I like him a lot. And here's why:

    Thomas wasn't afraid to speak up and say, "I don't believe it til I see it." He wasn't scared to state his doubt. He wasn't afraid to be human. So often we are encouraged to believe without seeing. So often, we are called on to put our faith in something invisible. But rarely are we encouraged to embrace our humanness. Believing without seeing is a practice most can never master. Yes, we may be able to believe in angels and saints. Yes, we may believe in God. But for one to fully believe that God has got this all, that He knows exactly where you are going, without having any signs visible to you, is true mastery. My point is this: yes, we should practice believing without seeing for truly blessed are they who can do so. However, it takes a long time to get to the mastery of such fait. Mastery that even Thomas didn't have.

      What Thomas does for us as fellow followers of Christ is that he allows us to embrace humanness. What does it truly mean to be human? It's a topic I have discussed greatly with so many recently. So often I find that we hide our emotions, our sensitivity, our love, our upsettedness from others. But why? Our emotions are part of what makes us human? Thomas embraced the emotions of fear and doubt. How often do we go through life saying we shouldn't be afraid, or we shouldn't have gotten angry, or we shouldn't have let something get to us the way it did? The truth is, those emotions are what make us human. If we didn't cry, if we didn't get angry, if we didn't fear, we wouldn't be human. Even Jesus cried at the death of Lazarus, he cursed the fig tree out of anger, he questioned what God wanted of Him in the garden the night before His death. He cried, He got angry, He was scared. It's all part of being human. And so, what we really should do instead of disown these beautiful, human emotions we experience, is to change they way we react when we experience them. My fellow humans, embrace those emotions because even Jesus Himself felt them. 

      Another aspect Thomas teaches us about being human is this: the affect physical touch has on a person. I come from an upbringing that involves hugs and kisses galore. You don't walk into the house without a hug or a kiss and you definitely don't leave without either. This has followed me into school thus I often greet my friends with hugs (no kisses...that's just weird) and when I leave them, there's always a hug. Even when I first meet someone, I don't shake their hand, I give them a hug. This may be one of the many reasons I fit in so well in Peru. Anyway...even Jesus knew the importance of human touch. He often didn't heal or perform miracles without first touching the person. Thomas had to touch Jesus to know it was Him. It is natural for humans to desire the touch of another whether it be in the form of a hug or a hand holding. Imagine what would have happened if Thomas didn't touch Jesus or Jesus didn't touch all those whom He did. So many things would be different. The same can be said for us now. When we don't hug or touch even in the smallest way like during the sign of peace, something is missing, an empty hole cannot be filled. We often wonder why we cannot connect with each other and perhaps this is one reason.

     Finally, one very human aspect Thomas teaches us is that as humans we desire to be in relationship with other humans. Shocker. One of the sisters told me yesterday that she has never heard me say that I am not close with someone. It happened because we were out to eat and one of my very close mentors and friends, Wendy, came over to say hello because she just happened to be at the same place.  When she left our table I began to tell Sister Virginia how much Wendy had changed my life. I told her how close we were and how much I still to this day look up to her. When I had finished, Sister Virginia said, "You're close with a lot of people." At first I thought she was going to tell me that perhaps I was too close with too many people, but she told me that it was my mission. And it's true. Ever since I was little I desired to be in deep relation with others. Now that I am older, I know what this means. There's a desire in me to connect with each person I meet. I want to know who they are, why they are, where they are. I want to know them and I want to have relationships with them. That is a very human desire.  When we cannot connect with a person, whether it is someone we have known for a very long time or someone we have just met something goes awry in the system. We instantly feel like something is missing because we cannot connect. Through his desire for connection with Jesus, Thomas needed to not only touch, but speak and see Jesus. And often Jesus felt this same desire for connection. Remember the woman at the well who He simply spoke to? Or the woman who touched His cloak? He demanded to see her to find out who she was so He could know her. 

     There are many reasons to like Thomas. One because my heart always went out to the belittled, but mostly because he truly does show us a very human side to being an apostle of Jesus. The truth is, yes we are called on to truly believe without having to see. But the reality of this human life is that it is difficult to do that. It is so difficult to believe 100% without seeing 0%. It is so human of us to doubt, to doubt anything, to doubt everything. Even I myself doubt. And before I met Thomas, I always felt that I was wrong in doubting. But Thomas and I are good friends now because he has taught me not to discredit my doubting because truly this makes me very, very human.