A Weekend of Infinite Forevers

"I guess sometimes the greatest memories are made 

in the most unlikely of places, 

further proof that spontaneity is more rewarding

than a meticulously planned life."

- J.A. Redmerski, "The Edge of Always"

     For many people, Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start to Summer. It means weekends down the shore or up the mountains. It means the first sunburn or sun tan. It means boating, swimming and camping. And of course, it means BBQs. It's the beginning of joyous season of summer, a final awakening from the dead of Winter. And it's the false hope for teachers that Summer has begun where in reality there are a number of weeks left (haha!). Memorial Day Weekend is the time to be with family and friends, enjoying the simple times allowed to us as a result of the many lives lost during our wars. As I read on the church sign at Our Lady of Fatima, "before you party this weekend, remember while you can."

     My weekend was no exception to this stereotypical holiday weekend. On Friday, I ventured down to the great unknown - Delaware - to visit my best bud from college, Theresa. We enjoyed a walk to the Asian Fusion place for lunch, cuddling and entertaining her brothers' puppies, chatting, ordering pizza for dinner with her parents and just being with one another. We spent hours just talking to one another without the distraction of cell phone calls or texts (save for the important ones from parents). We were with one another in wholeness. It was spontaneous togetherness. 

     I also enjoyed hosting a bbq for my high school girl friends on Saturday night as we commemorated the spontaneity of our dear friend as she gets ready to hit the road for California. Not just a beautiful road trip adventure but a journey of continuing life - she's moving. I enjoyed grilling burgers, dogs and chicken of every seasoning as well as planning salads and fruit and drinks. I love being that Suzie homemaker party hostess. I got so much enjoyment from running to the stores so I could prep everything to getting creative in the kitchen with the ingredients we had laying around the house. I love being in the kitchen and creating enjoyment from food. I even said to my best friend from high school, so many people these days wish they could have someone come over and cook for them. I'm the friend who wants everyone to come over and eat. Maybe that's me being Italian and wanting to feed everyone on the street and their friends, too. I love food - so much happiness in my life has been surround by food of every kind. I can't help it. 

      As we sat around the fire eating and sharing stories, it was once again the spontaneity of togetherness. I looked later for some pictures of the night - I had three. We were living in the moment and being together. It's so difficult sometimes to really be together but there we were laughing and enjoying every moment. People came and went but despite the group of people always changing, we maintained the atmosphere of togetherness - true togetherness. As the last few of us remained, we began talking about plans for the Summer - plans to be spontaneous. Plans to spontaneously go down the beach to be exact. We laughed and said we were all too busy for something spontaneous. The irony of that comment was that almost every time we planned to do something together we never could; every time we spontaneously asked around, we were able to do something. As we continued talking, someone said, "Let's go to the beach - now." Before any of us could chicken out, we were in the car and headed to the beach. 

      There were four of us in the car and I was driving as we blasted the radio with the windows down. My friends were dressed in every one of the sweatshirts that had just been washed and now smelled like campfire. We were far from prepared for the cold wind of the beach at night but hey it was so worth it. We pulled in the first beachy area we knew and walked along the shore. We picked shells (and golf balls) and collected sand as a memory. We took a few pictures of nothing but darkness. We linked arms and walked down along the water, struggling with the shifting sands underneath our feet. We admired the stars for they were truly glorious. All this at about 12:30 at night. We got home around 2:30 and appeared to be one of the very few cars on the road. When my head hit the pillow that night, my best friend was on my floor, our feet were dirty and yet we slept better than before. Spontaneity yields much peace. 

     Mary Kate and I woke up to get to Mass and did a list of things we hadn't planned - omelettes at the diner and visits with one of our favorite high school nuns at Mount Nazareth. We drove around, laughed, shared even more stories and enjoyed the time together. Eventually when we got home after all our "spontaneous errands," I took a nap. When I woke up I played some music, did some artwork, went for a run with my dog, all things I hadn't planned on doing. It was just me and my parents so naturally there wasn't a laundry list of things to do. Hey, I even watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy - because, well, why not? 

     My Memorial Day consisted of going to Mass, watching the yearly small town USA parade with my dog and kid neighbors, lounging around in a pool, and going to another BBQ hosted by my friend's fam squad. We ended the night with my little sisters roasting marshmallows in the backyard. 

     When I got ready for bed last night, I remember watching all these memories stream through my mind. One of my friends said that when he looked to the sky, he just realized how much he wished that the day could go on forever because it was such a good one. In the words of my students, retweet. In real people speak, same, so same. These past few days have perfect and as I sit back to think about why they seemed so perfect - togetherness and spontaneity. Nothing about my weekend was really planned and I had allowed myself to be together with people I care about. It's so rare that we get the blessing to be spontaneous or to relax. We have to make time to make time. We have to pencil in every activity but we also need to pencil in relaxation time. My friends joke that they need to book a year ahead of time to get on my calendar and I pathetically have to agree. I don't like how busy my calendar is and yet, there seems to be no way around it. This weekend, I had nothing planned and as I was driving to Delaware I felt peaceful in knowing that this was going to be a weekend of random togetherness with so many people.
      My goal this Summer is to avoid filling in the blank days on my calendar. Each time I find myself looking to pencil something in, I'm going to stop and take a breath...then remember that I have a river in my backyard waiting for random dates with me and the kayak, a couple of little sisters that are waiting for ice cream and a grill waiting for me to get creative in the kitchen. Amen to spontaneity.