How To Survive Convent Life - Lesson #4

"In order to survive convent life,
one must learn to laugh at oneself for one's mistakes
and at God's humorous events.
One must find true joy in the Lord. "
- Lesson #4

      One of my all time favorite books is the classic, In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden. Within the first 100 pages of the book, the reader meets Sister Julian, a young Benedictine Sister who is "trying her vocation" in the monastery of Brede. Right away, I felt companionship and solidarity with Sister Julian because she loves to laugh. In fact one of the sisters said about her, "She did great things but I think the best of them was that she taught me to laugh." I, like Sister Julian, simply love to laugh.

     On my second day in Jamaica, my dear "companion on the journey," Sister Mary, said to me, "Becca, I've never seen someone laugh as much as you." I simply replied, "Sister, I love to laugh." In return, she said, "That, my dear, is truly a gift you have." I reflected on her words, as I always have with words about my laughter. I came to the conclusion that she was right; it is a gift I can laugh at so much. 

      On our last day, our travel home day, I got stopped at customs and had to answer a few questions. When I stuttered on one of my answers, the US customs worker questioned me further. I simply smiled, gave a little laugh, and in return, his stern face embraced a smile, too and then he waved me through. Sister, who was waiting on the other side of customs, watched the whole event take place. When I finally caught up to her, she said, "You avoided a lot of trouble for both of us this past week with that winning smile and gentle smile. You've got everyone wrapped around your finger by your joy." I simply smiled in return. Later, I said to her, "Sister, you know, when you share a smile, things change instantly." It's the truth.

      Last night, I made an impromptu visit to the convent at home. I was seriously planning on only staying for maybe a half an hour. However, I should have expected that, like any visit there, I would be there for a few hours. I was there for three and a half. As I enthralled the sisters, my sisters, with story after story after story of my journey, we laughed so hard; all of us, together. I distinctly remember one of my dearest Sisters, casually strolling into the community room, where we were are seated, and when she saw me, came over and "tackled" me in only a way a Sister could. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight telling me how glad she was that I was home. I laughed and laughed. I told all the sisters about my laughter in Jamaica and with their smiles, they agreed; I DO love to laugh. 

       Laughing with my Sisters last night and sharing all the conversations did remind me that I missed that while I was away. With my Sisters, despite the age gaps between us, I can share anything, and we did share so much. I shared about the struggles I had while in Jamaica, the personality conflicts, and yet, my understanding of why things happen the way they did. I shared about having to bite my tongue, to let things go and to not let things bother me. I shared very personal things with these women, things I could really only share with them. And during our conversation, they allowed me to reflect on so many aspects of my trip, giving me the chance to search deeper within myself and how I was affected. At the end of the night, when I was saying good-bye to the Sisters that lasted til the "end of the night," one Sister whispered in my ear, "Your understanding, insight and depth have truly proven the young woman you have become. It's beautiful." 

       As I drove home, I used the time to think about the laughter, the stories and the "growing up" I've shared with these women over the years. They have played such a great part in raising me as a young women, as much as my own family, and I feel so connected in out hearts. These women have graced me with more than they know; they are family. For with who else can one laugh, cry, share, and be so deeply, personal than family? 

       Often, I replace Sister Julian's name with my own in my favorite line from Brede: "Julian was the only one who laughed, but then, Julian obviously felt at home. Sister Julian belongs here." I feel as if I belong, simply by sharing my laughter...both in Jamaica and at home. 

Jamaican Me Crazy, Mon, At Our Lady of Hope Orphanage

"Hardships there are, but the land is green and the sun always shineth." 

     Last night, I fell asleep to the sound of my little sister, Lizzie, snoring on my bedroom floor. I was snuggled under my blanket and tried for hours to fall asleep! But, I couldn't. I was missing the sounds of crickets chirping, dogs barking, laughter from the children, and so much more. I was missing the beautiful, Jamaican breezes, the glorious moon and stars shining, and the precious faces of the children. I was so sore after becoming a human jungle gym, and yet, pain never felt so good! As I attempted time and time about to fall asleep, quiet tears fell down my cheek and hit the pillow. I miss Jamaica so much! 

     Wednesday, July 25, was an early morning. My dear Sister Mary, picked me up from the Motherhouse at 7 and we headed over to the convent for Mass with the sisters. We gathered together for breakfast (I didn't eat because I am such an anxious traveler) and conversation. Before I left, I went around to every single sister in the room and hugged them...twice. Sister Mary was cracking up at my hugginess and my love! We then drove three hours to the airport where we met the other girls coming with us. Our flight from Baltimore to Miami was about two hours and then we had an hour and a half flight to Jamaica. But, by the time we got into Jamaica, it was ten o'clock. We then had a two and a half hour drive to our orphanage. We got picked up from the Montego Bay airport in a small, white "bus" but really it was a twelve passenger van. The two back seats were filled with all the donation bags and Everton. Then, eight of us had to smush together on two rows of seats while Father and two others sat in the front. What an uncomfortable adventure, and yet...I, of course, loved every moment of it. By the time we got to the orphanage, it was almost one in the morning...but midnight in Jamaican time. Our house was three rooms: two bedrooms and a living room/kitchen. The sisters had one room and we had another...five girls and three beds. Two bathrooms, both equipped with showers...which were really pipes out of which cold water poured. Living was simply and easy; I was excited. Once we got settled, I passed out only to wake up at seven US time/six Jamaica time. Needless to say, I was anxious to start my day!

       Our days were filled with eating meals with the children, walking for hours with the children, playing for hours with the children and living twenty-four seven with the children. I loved every minute of it! To be honest, there was no hard adjustment to anything, not even not having a cell phone (that was a relief!) Being around 33 children from ages 2-18 was just like being at a full Gutherman family party with all my cousins!! Every day we would take a walk around the beautiful, mountainous, green, Jamaican land. Sister Mary and I would almost always wind up walking with each other and the little babies. I carried a little one every day whether it was a rambunctious two year old Faith or her twin sister, a sleeping Grace, or three year old Shauniel on my shoulders or his twin sister, Shanta-lee, on my back. Sometimes I had both Faith and Grace. I loved it. I looked so forward to those walks, and I think Sister Mary did, too. Since we had the little ones, we often lagged behind the others and were the last ones back but we talked a lot about so much. I really got to know her as a person and now I love her even more! We would meet so many of the local people on our walks and they were so friendly. On our last day, a young man named Chevron walked with us and talked with us the whole way. Sister Mary thinks he was "taken with me" but since it was the last day in Jamaica, I guess I'll never know for sure! His cornrows were pretty awesome though!!

       After lunch, which was the biggest meal of the day, we would separate into reading groups and I had the little ones: Faith, Grace, Shauniel, Shanta-lee and Dillon (he's four and precious!) Shocker there!! I would gather them all around me, under a palm tree by Chapel and read stories to them. If they sat still and listened carefully  to all four books, they would get a "sweetie" (candy) at the end. They were always so good for me. After reading groups, we would start a craft or activity. We did anything from painting to friendship bracelets to water balloon tosses and soccer games. After dinner we had activities, too, which were sometimes dance parties or more games. Then, when all the little ones went to bed, the older kids would stay up and play cards with us. What fun, honestly! Our meals were anything from pancakes for dinner to porridge for breakfast to a whole fish (fins and tail included) for lunch. Everything always tasted soooooo good! 

       As I write this, tears fill up in my eyes. I wish I could go back and stay for so much longer. I miss my little friends in my reading group especially. They would constantly run into me (literally) and throw their hands up in the air to be picked up. They would cover me in kisses after I taught them how to say "I love you, kisses" and blow kisses, too. They would eat their lollipops while sitting on my lap and slobber all over me and sometimes wash their hands on my legs. They were so easy to love and I did love them...I still do. When I was saying goodbye, both Faith and Grace were swooped up into my arms and immediately they said, "I love you, kisses," and plastered kisses on my cheeks. I cried. 

       The older children were great, too. While I couldn't pick them up or cuddle them, they taught me so much about their lives and culture. One of the older twins, Lamoya, taught me a traditional, Jamaican song in "patois," their language. I mastered it! Another boy, Shyan, could play a guitar and we sang together for a good hour and a half one day! That day, I decided my goal for the year is to learn guitar so I can play for the kids next Summer. Speaking of music, Sunday morning at Mass was beautiful! Ironically, I knew all of the songs and so I sang along with the beautiful Jamaican voices. I was in Heaven! 

        There are so many stories to tell and I'll be telling stories for years of this beautiful place. I wish I could go back for so long and stay among those children! I love them all so much!! And as Soniel, one of the older boys, said to me on the last day, "I wish their was a bridge connecting USA to Jamaica just so we could see each other again." I really wish I could see them all right now! My hips, back and shoulders feel empty without a little one attached to me, and my voice feels like it could really sing a Jamaican spiritual hymn. I miss playing cards with the older children and holding hands with the middle-school kids on our walks. I miss having mystery meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but what I miss the most is the laughter and simplicity. Laughter is my favorite sound and I miss it so much! I can't wait to go back! I am so blessed! 

     

My Partner in Service for the week -Sister Mary

Myself, Sonia and Faith

The Chapel

Myself and Romario

Shauniel

Casually drinking at the pizza place...not me, just Sister. 

Jessica and the bumby bananas

The view from our mountain

Foster, my right-hand man. 

Tamara and Brittany, sisters. 

And the traditional last day picture!

Are You Brave Enough? - A Story of Following God's Will

"Some say fate is beyond our command, but I know better. 

Our destiny is within us. You just have to be brave enough to see it." 

- Merida, Brave

     

     I'll admit, I'm not much of a movie goer, but after hearing my littlest sister bug and bug and bug to go to the movies, I submitted. Since she had been such a big help to me yesterday packing for my trip, I decided we could go see it today, especially since it is hot and going to the movies is a great way to kill time. Plus, I wanted to rack up all the hours with my little sister as possible. So, we saw a movie of her choice: Brave. 

     I'm not a movie critic and I'm not one to usually follow movie critiques, either, because I don't usually go to the movie theater. However, I had read a few on BRAVE simply because there was a lot of contradictory comments about it. As I was sitting in the theater watching the movie though, I felt extremely moved. Almost as moved as I felt during the Lion King back when that first came out. I was either laughing, crying or smiling almost the whole time because I got so into the movie!! And here's why:

    While the movie takes place in Scotland, I could easily see my IRISH grandma, Bea, as Brave. Bea, as you might have read before in my past blog posts, was a go-getter, an adventurer and I am certainly Bea's grandchild for those attributes are mine, as well. Right away, I could feel the love for my Irish heritage coming out (again, even though the movie takes place in Scotland). And the desire that Bea was with me also came out. Oh how I wish she could be with me on this adventure. 

    So basically this story is one of a girl named Merida who is attempting to change her fate. However, after a series of events that take place she realizes she can't change her fate and proclaims the above quoted phrase (which, as a word-lover, I fell in love with.) I don't believe in "fate," but rather God's plan for us. And if we replace the words "fate" and "destiny" with "God's plan", those words of Merida's become so much deeper. Those words hit so close to home.

      If you've been following my recent blog posts, you know that I leave for Jamaica on a service trip...tomorrow. I humbly believe that this desire to travel the world and do missionary work of sorts has always been a part of me. Before I can remember when, I've wanted to go to Ghana to work with the children. As I got older, that deep part of my heart and soul that yearned to travel to change the world grew even deeper and I found that it is something I must do with my life. So, I started small by heading to New Orleans, not to work with children, but to build. Now, I am headed to Jamaica to work with the children. I couldn't be anymore excited. I am so excited because this is part of God's plan for me or what Merida would call my "destiny" or my "fate." 

      And yet, of course, I am nervous. Because I won't have any connection to the outer world; to anywhere but our precious orphanage. I won't have a cell phone, or a computer, or maybe even access to a mailbox/post office. I am nervous to fly so far away and be so far away from my beloved family and friends. But the excitement and the realization that this is something God wants me to do with my life, overrides that nervousness. Perhaps this is a deeper realization that God is calling me to the missionary works throughout the world. I know, for sure, He is calling me to do it now, but how about for the rest of my life. 

      Like Merida, I have an adventurous heart and a gypsy soul (as I've said time and time again). She even climbed a waterfall!! She rides a horse, I row a kayak. She has a free spirit, and I have one, too, just owned by God. My heart desires the adventure of missionary work and traveling. So, if this may be "God's plan" within me, I hope I am BRAVE enough to see it and embrace it. 

    

      PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for not only me as I travel, but those I travel with and those I will meet. Pray that God truly works within this week. Until then, my friends....be brave!