Sitting At The Kid's Table

"Let the little children come to me, 

and do not hinder them. 

The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these."

- Matthew 19:14

Mis chicas y chicos de Montenegro

     This past week, my Parish family experienced a lot of change (and growth) due to the merger between St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parishes. We gained a whole new church community, a whole new Mass schedule, a whole new summer-y change of pace AND a new priest, Fr. Rudy. The more I pray and think about this merger, I can only think how much more blessed we have become this week. I mean, honestly, look at the options we have now for morning Mass. We have a whole new set of family members (suh-weet), and our Pastor, Fr. Mike, now has not only someone else to live with him in that hug, lonely rectory, but also a friend, confidante and help. Needless to say, I am more than excited about this. Of course, aside from all of these fun and exciting perks of merging two Parishes, there is one important thing that must always occur when change happens: first impressions and introductions. 

     It would be a lie if I told you that I specifically dressed up every day last week in my attempt to make a good impression. Honestly, most days it's just more comfortable to wear a skirt instead of pants (sometimes I wonder why ladies ever fought to wear pants) and the perk of that is that I look like I didn't wake up fifteen minutes before going to church. I laughed at myself on Friday when I showed up in skirt for like the fifth day in a row. I couldn't help but think what maybe someone's first impression of me might have been that week. At 6:30 in the morning, one is lucky to get a few words out of me, much less a sentence or a paragraph (coffee is like gasoline...car won't run without out gas; Becca doesn't run without coffee).So, I probably appear a quiet person...who happens to wear skirts a lot. But also, I come and go without interrupting much. I enter chapel quietly, I leave just as quietly, without really talking to too many people (again...coffee). But I also LOVE to hug people during the sign of peace. Yeah...I don't do handshakes. So that's what I imagined the first impression of me might be. When I walked into church on Sunday morning for our new 7:30 Mass (yayayayay), I saw Fr. Rudy sitting in the vestibule. I was surprised when he greeted me.

     Of course, my sunny disposition said, "Hi, Father!" He said, "Good Morning. Do you live here?" At first I thought he was referencing to Croydon, like my city, so I laughed and said, "Well, yes I do live here." Then he clarified by saying he meant the church. So I said, "It feels like it sometimes, but I like it here." I was suddenly aware that he was probably confused by my presence at Mass daily. I was then reminded that I usually am the youngest one present except when I drag my friend, Trevor, along for the ride. So naturally, this would be a surprise for any priest used to the "typical" church crowd. I took this with me as I giggled and walked to our pew. Our new priest's first impression was that I live at church. Oh and I'm pretty sure at this point, he still didn't know my name. 

      When my little sister finally got to church, she told me that she just had her first conversation with Fr. Rudy. What did she tell him? All about her ER adventure to get her earring back removed from inside her earlobe (don't worry folks, she's fine; unbeknowst to us, we got two ear miracles for one family). That's just great...absolutely great, I thought. All throughout Mass, I was watching the reactions of the people to Fr. Rudy. Positive all around. He was excited to be at STA. He was funny. He was honest. People seemed to react wonderfully. I don't know why, but I love to watch human interaction; it's so interesting. I also have no qualms, myself, for wearing my heart on my sleeve, so when I react to something (everything), it's very clear how I feel. During Fr. Rudy's homily, my mouth dropped a few times, I smiled really big and I even wanted to cry. Here's why:

      The first thing that Fr. Rudy told us about himself was that during the consecration of the Eucharist, right after the "Holy, Holy, Holy," he likes to invite all the kids up to the altar. I remembered something like that happening one time when I was a kid during a Christmas mass, but I had never seen it again until I was in Peru almost a month and a half ago. It was during Sunday Mass at a local Parish in La Molina. The priest looked like my cousin all grown up and I was in awe of his gentleness. While I didn't understand much of the Spanish aside from the readings and dialogue during Mass, I knew at the time of the consecration, what was going on. Suddenly all the little kids started running toward the altar. Older kids were holding babies and the hands of the younger kids. Some were running around the altar, while others were standing perfectly still. This memory came flooding back as Father was telling us why he does this: the little ones always help him pray better. Kids are so innocent and honest, both with people and with their relationship with God. 

      When the time for the kids' invitation to go up on the altar came, I think I was more excited than Lizzie. In fact, I was. I had to drag her up to the altar. At 7:30 in the morning, she was one out of a few kids at Mass. She was one of two (err...three) kids at the altar. Yes, I took her up there and then I stayed with her. As we were standing there, I mentioned to her that she was NOW able to see everything that happens at the consecration. By the end of the consecration, she was just as in love with the concept of kids at the altar as I was. When we got back to our pew after the sign of peace, I had the following thoughts:

       Not only does he think I live at church, he probably thinks I kidnap children. I've got to tell him that she's my sister. Also, more kids need to come to church so they can be awesome on the altar. And, I think we should start calling it the kid's table. You know how the altar is the table of God, well, it's the kid's table. I've always loved being at the kid's table at family dinners. Honestly, it's more fun. I'm a kid at heart. I wonder if Fr. Rudy would be opposed to me going up to the altar every Sunday?! Hm...maybe I shouldn't. But like, I want to....

      Yes, a stream of consciousness. After Communion, I realized that Jesus loved the little children. I love the little children. I could honestly just play with kids all day. While Jesus, on occasion, ate with His disciples and the sinners, He also was the inventor of the idea of the kids' table. I mean honestly, He said, "Let the little ones come to me." At 30 some years old, Jesus was sitting at the head of the kids' table. Of course, Jesus calls us to imitate His example. So you can all guess what this means: if I want to imitate Jesus, I have to sit at the kid's table :) I smiled at this play on words and promised myself that I would never let myself lose my seat at the kids' table. 

      After Mass, I walked out holding Lizzie's hand. We said good-bye to Fr. Rudy and Fr. Mike and then were headed on our merry way. I still hadn't given Fr. Rudy my name, but I'm pretty sure he'll remember me by my constant living at church and my desire to sit at the kids' table with the kids at consecration. In all honesty, the little ones help me pray better, too. And if that's not a good first impression, I don't know what is. Quiet, prayerful, morning bird, kid at heart. 

Life's a Stage and God is the Director - Charlotte's Web Part Two

"No matter what, always remember that what you do is God's work. Every time you bring joy to another's life, you are doing God's work."

    I did it. I was really trying not to, but today, as we all held hands during our pre-show prayer, a little tear slowly formed in my eye and leaked out over the side of my eyelid. Then, it happened again in the other eye. Before I knew it, I had tears dripping down my face. Oh God, I thought, my make-up is all ruined now. AND I look like a blubbering idiot. Who cries during prayers? Oh wait...me. We finished with an Our Father, and our usual, "I feel good. I feel great. I feel the poooooooower within." Then I opened my eyes. 

    For the past week, I've been fighting off the tears that build up during our director's pep talks. But really, she always makes me want to cry good tears of great feeling within. Not only was she my stage director for the past three months, but also my teacher. And yet, the hats are different. In class, sister. At practice, real, legitimate, human being. She never wore her habit to practice because...well, you can't exactly move up and down and all around the stage quickly in a skirt. Yet, there was no difference between her in class empowerment and her at practice empowerment. Whether we were being critiqued or commended, she always reminded us that we are doing God's work. 

     I have no words for her and yet, I have all the words in the world. She is one of the most amazing, influential, empowering women I have ever met. While at one time in my college career I actually questioned why she ever became a sister, I know how sincerely she really uplifts all the values of her religious life. She may be viewed as a little radical from her sisters, but from a college student's perspective, she is so real and alive and full of sincerity. She literally jumps right on the stage with us, act out certain parts for us, becomes one with us. There is no boundary between sister and student, it is actress to actress/actor. The mentor in her comes out only after practice.

     After practice, especially the final dress rehearsals, when we have our final evaluation/pep talk. While I've heard the rumor that she can get pretty feisty when things go wrong, I can only believe that she is so passionate. Every single word that she speaks is truer because of that passion and maybe, compassion. Things go wrong, yes, but she believes in us, and you can feel that resonate all throughout you as if she is speaking only to you. She gives us our stage notes, the things we need to improve on ASAP, and then she builds up our morale. 

     I can't tell you how many times she has told us about the kids we would be acting for. She told us that the kids might come from rich families or might be inner city kids. Some kids might have never ever seen a show in a real theatre before while others may have gone to broadway on a yearly basis. Some kids know tragedy, real tragedy, while others only know fictional tragedy. Regardless of who they are, we are bringing them joy and joy is God's work within us. 

    Every time she brought up the kids, especially at our pre-show prayers, I would fight off tears. These are the kids I might teach one day. These are kids I want to get to know, to be a ray of sunshine and hope for. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life. And maybe this week, was a week where I needed those kids more than they might have needed me. They inspired me, they brought joy to my life by their laughter, their conversations, and their smiles. I guess that's why I'm an education major!

    As I walking back from the show by myself in the rain today (a sad situation to most but so peaceful to me), I stumbled upon one of the other sisters on campus. Since it was Saturday she was all dressed down out of habit (which was slightly normal for me to be like, OH HEY SIS...) and we walked together, talking about the show. I told her how it was a hard decision for me to get back into theatre, but I did it. And then, I told her that the moment I got back on the stage in front of those kids, I realized how much I really missed theatre and being on the stage. Then Sister reminded me that education is more or less a stage since we are acting in front of our students! It made me think that maybe life is a stage and God is the director. However, like many actors and actresses, we can deviate from the script or even the director's notes. The director can get frustrated, but like my director, God will never lash out, or yell, or show complete forgiveness. Instead, God will empower us and then give us a second chance!! Yep, life is a stage and God is the director!! Congrats Cue and Curtain Cast of Charlotte's Web!! We did it!!