Today I Will: Teach Something!

"Learn something."

- The Blindside

      All my life, all I've ever wanted to do was teach. I would set up all my stuffed animals and teach them whatever I knew at four years old. When I started kindergarten, I would attempt to teach my one year old sister the alphabet and everything I was learning in school from letter sounds to Jesus. As I got older, I was the homework helper. I always learned best in school by teaching other students or working together in pairs. For as long as I could remember, I've wanted to teach and ever so quickly it's becoming a reality. 

     For the past three years, I have spent every single Thursday observing in various schools in various districts with various age groups and grades in various subject matters. I have always loved kids and being in any classroom always excited me. I just wanted to teach them all about the world. Every little school I was in, I was reminded of all the times I spent in my grade school volunteering as a "Lunch Sister" or classroom aide. I loved having the little ones run up to me just to say hi or show me their artwork. But I was dying to get into a high school classroom. And eventually, I got there. I observed students falling asleep in English class. The more I saw, the more I wanted to teach.

     I had been so blessed with so many wonderful teachers in my life and I wanted to pass on the heritage. I had teachers who instilled in me a love for English and Theology (and History and even, Science). I had teachers who made me excited to learn, who made me never want to leave class, who spoke to my heart about life. I wanted to do that. I wanted my students to feel the same as I did in my own classes. 

    I had a taste of that in Peru. I would jump all around the classroom, illustrating their Edgar Allan Poe short stories on the wipe off board and tell them how exciting it was to study the creepiness of the Tell-Tale Heart or the Black Cat. After school, they would gather all around me, fascinated by my accent, by my skin, by my hair but by the end of three and a half weeks, they were gathered around me asking for advice for class, for projects and for friendships. Somewhere along the line, I had made a difference. Somewhere, I had shown my students that they could ask me anything, and I would do my best to answer them. Somewhere along the line, I felt that I was achieving my dream. 

     Flash forward to this past Monday when my dream began to come even closer to coming true. I stepped foot in room 208 and suddenly, I was no longer Becca; I was Miss Gutherman. I was no longer a student at Immaculata but a Student Teacher. Suddenly, I gained over a hundred new cherubs and angels and princesses. Suddenly, I was happier than I had ever been. 

     I had asked for prayers for my first day of Student Teaching on facebook and got well over 100 likes and many more prayers I am sure. I had began my day with Mass at the Motherhouse (6:30 AM...oi) and received many hugs and kisses of good luck from my dear Sisters. Every day since, I've been reporting for duty for Mass and I have been accepted as a regular. Every morning they send me on my way to school like a million moms sending their only daughter to school. And later, when I'm at work, they ask me how my day went. It reminds me of how the mom in the movie Blindside sends her children off to school every day by saying : "Learn Something." However, instead of my Sisters telling me to learn, they tell me to Teach Something. And every day, I walk up to the our classroom thinking about what I will teach my students. 

     Already this week I have introduced Anglo-Saxon Riddles, wrote some myself and had my students, two days later, recite them in front of the class. I couldn't help but smile. We also worked on a research project in the computer lab. The English nerd in me is so excited every day walking into the classroom. Who knows what my co-op teacher is going to through in front of me? Never mind that, all teaching is thinking on your feet. It's been a few days, and this morning I was greeted in the parking lot by two of my students. They smiled, asked about my night and told me they couldn't wait to hand in their riddles. WHAT?! They were excited already?! I felt like dancing. If they were this excited about riddle writing, the rest of the Semester is going to be so easy.

     I love my students. It's been five days and already they so easily bring a smile to my face and laughter to my heart. I'm already planning to attend their sports games/matches and concerts. They usually come into the classroom with smiles so big and they are always full of conversation. Sometimes, I can't help but laugh at them. As many teenage girls are, they can be dramatic, but it doesn't make me love them less. I can't wait until I am their full teacher for a good four - six weeks. Right now, I am just doing various lessons with them. But that's okay. Everyday, I wake up at the crack of dawn excited to teach. 

     Student Teaching, one week in, has already been a beautiful taste of reality that I can't wait to fully grasp. Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in the air and proclaim how much I love teaching. And the more excited I get about teaching, the more respect I seem to get for my profession by those not in the education field. It amazes me how much of a difference a teacher can make. I can honestly say, that while I may have a million other things to do like my own homework, play practice and sleeping, I love teaching more than anything. I get up everyday at 5am for my girls. I drive straight into the sunshine everyday for these students of mine that I already love so much. I will stay up as long as it takes to conjure a lesson that will not only speak to their minds but to their hearts. Everyday, I wake up with this reminder that I have one job to do: teach something, anything, to your students, with love. 

Where In The World Is Your Heart?

"Blessed are the feet of those who carry the good news."

Romans 10:14  

     When I was younger, in computer class, we used to play the online game "Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?" The main point of the game was to travel to different parts of the world, collecting clues and meeting new people, to find Carmen San Diego! If you found her, you were successful. If not, you kept searching. Yesterday, while I was at work at the Motherhouse (and simply beaming with good news for my sisters), one of the sisters told me she wasn't surprised I was leaving the country again. I am simply traveling the world to find something. I immediately thought: instead of Carmen San Diego, I am searching the world for my heart. 

     As most of you know simply from following my blog, I've been to many, many places around the US and the World. I've traveled to places as close as Philadelphia to as far as Jamaica to do service for God's people. It's always been a deep part of who I am: to simply travel and teach the children of the world. Some people love to travel. Some love to teach. I want to do both with the rest of my life and I knew that from a very young age. I've always had a desire to get up and just go. Take all I need in one back pack, and go, living doing service for the rest of the world. However, since I'm such a busy student, I can only do so much during my Summer. 

     While I was praying sometime back in October, it crossed my heart that I needed to go to New Orleans in January this school year instead of May. I had no idea why, but I felt the need and desire to. So, I put in my application and was the last possible person accepted for the service trip. It was as simple as that. God said go, and He made it possible. I still had no idea why He wanted me to go in January. A few weeks later in November, I heard wind of the annual Peru trip. So, I took interest, talked to Sister Elaine and submitted yet another application. Within two days, I got an email saying, "Thanks for the email, Bec. Start saving." Without wanting to assume, my heart suddenly seemed set on going to Peru. 

       A few days after Thanksgiving break, there was an email in my inbox with the formal heading, invitation and congratulations of being accepted for the Summer 2013 Peru trip. I was in shock. This was the reason God said, "Hey, Bec, go to NOLA in January." He had bigger plans for me for my Summer. I suddenly felt so blessed and knew that God was going to take care of this situation. And once the shock wore off, I knew I had one person (in addition to so many others) I had to tell: Sister Miriam Irene.

       Sister Miriam Irene and I met my Freshmen year during one of the annual Camilla trips and hit it off instantly. Every time we visited she would fill my heart with a passion to go to Peru. Or anywhere, but definitely Peru. The sisters have had missions there for a while and that's the life I've always desired. My heart would always be on fire to do what she did after every visit! And so, when I went to Camilla yesterday, I told her. Her beautiful smile got so big and she simply hugged me saying how excited she was for me! I almost cried...and so did she! Once she knew, I felt I could tell the rest of the sisters. And so, at work last night, I let them all know!

      I waited for Sister Martina to "pop in" and when she did, I told her. Within minutes, most of the Motherhouse knew! Except a few others. When Sister Lorraine, the Mother General came in, I told her to brace herself. She took it so seriously, I was laughing so hard as I tried to tell her I was headed to Peru. She, of course, was so excited! My heart was so on fire for Peru, but in general to continue this dream that God has placed in my heart!

     And so, now, I tell the rest of you the good news! I'm headed to Peru to work with the children! Of course, I need to brush up on my Spanish, but I believe that even if I don't understand the language, I'll be able to understand the hearts of the children and beautiful people of Peru. Just like I understood the Patois of the Jamaican babies. Just like how I understood the heavy Southern Accents of the NOLA people. There's a love and fire in their hearts!!! And I share that love and fire!

     I've grown past the years of  searching for Carmen San Diego, and now I'm searching for my heart. Where does my heart really lay?! I know I have so many stirrings to travel and teach. Maybe I'll never put down permanently, but maybe Peru could be ultimately where my heart is. Regardless, God is sending me there to at least pick up some clues!! 

Learning How To Fall Into Solidarity - A Reflection on Wes Moore

"Are you going to partner with someone because you know them? 

Or because they are fellow IU students?

Or because they are fellow human beings?

You're more similar than you think. "

- Professor John Church

      One little known fact about me is that from the moment I turned 15, I wanted to earn my pilot's license for small aircraft. Whenever I'm asked during an icebreaker what superhero power I would love to have, I always say to fly. There is just something so great about being able to fly OR having the wind at your face. The goal to earn my pilot's license came as a result of a few reasons: First, I could have a pilot's license before a driver's license. Second, two of my uncles are licensed pilots. Third, something about growing up to being a sister who had her pilot's license was enticing. And fourth, it coincided with another one of my goals.

       Honestly, when I was bout 15 years old, I made a list of 25 life goals. Some were a little crazy like "swim with polar bears or some other 'dangerous' animal" and "live in Africa." But others were a little more reasonable like, "get my pilot's license" and "jump out of a plane." Yes, I've always wanted to go skydiving. Now, of course, I wouldn't do both things at once, that is, fly the plane, then jump out of it. But, I wanted to do those crazy things. However, those were the dreams of a naive teenage girl and I had since put those dreams to the wayside. Until last Thursday.

        One of my many roles on campus is an First Year Experience (FYE) Mentor. This means I "co-teach" a class of new students once a week with a faculty member. During class we cover all types of subject matter such as school policies, academic success, time management and the common reader. The common reader is always my favorite part. The whole class of 2016 (and every new class coming in) has to read a book. This year's book was The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore. In addition to actually reading the book, the students have to write a reflection paper on the book and attend a faculty lecture on the book. My job's easy, I just have to read the book. And maybe attend a faculty lecture. Ok let's be honest, I'm a literature dork, so of course I'm going to attend probably all of the faculty lectures! I started with the first faculty lecture this past Thursday. 

        The lecture began by Professor Church telling us how to jump out of a plane as a paratrooper. Professor Church is not only a wonderful English Professor, but also a retired member of the US Marine Corps. So when he speaks, he doesn't speak, he yells. I love his energy. Over 110 new students, in addition to many FYE mentors, and some other faculty members were present. I'm not going to lie, if I was a new student and had never met Professor Church, I probably would have been scared out of my seat. He told us all to link arms and so we did; all of us. Then he kept shouting "six minutes," "five minutes," "one minute," "thirty seconds," and he had us all standing up, linking arms, swaying back and forth, shouting back his commands. All of a sudden, I felt like I was really jumping out of a plane. But, right before he should have shouted, "Jump!" he calmly said, "Sit down." 

        Having not read the book yet, I had no idea why this played any role in Professor Church's lecture. Regardless of this fact, he easily wove it into so many beautiful and wise statements. Lucky for me, I started and finished the book yesterday while at work. It was the type of book that I was so into, I couldn't put it down. Whenever the phone rang at work, I didn't answer until I finished the paragraph. And when the book ended, I openly shouted, "What? It's over? It can't be over." Yes, I want a sequel. But the truth is, there can't be a sequel; it's a true story. And right toward the end of the book, one Wes Moore goes through his first jump out of a plane as a paratrooper, while the other Wes Moore is being chased by the police for the murder of a police officer. Both experiencing adrenaline, but of two different sources. 

        Finally, I had the connection between the paratrooper exercise we did at the faculty lecture and the book. But really, there was so much more with which I could connect. It was a story of solidarity and of understanding. Of two different people realizing so much similarity between themselves. For many it's hard for us to imagine poverty. Even if we don't have time for a job between classes, or take a vow of poverty, or don't have a car. But the truth is, we are so rich; I am so rich. I have a roof over my head, a family who loves me, and a hot meal every night for dinner. I go to school, I go to the store, I go to the gym with ease. I don't see any gunfire, or heroine use, or severe alcoholism. Not when I'm here at school. However, only a few steps outside my hometown, all of that poverty is right before my eyes. Every scene that Wes Moore described in his Baltimore City or The Bronx, I've seen before. I know it's real. I see it all the time.

        Professor Church covered all types of things in his lecture about poverty and solidarity. He said, "If we just took the time to get to know each other, we'd find that the more we know about each other, the more similarities we find." That really hit my heart. It's so true. There might not be that many differences between myself and the homeless teenager I see walking down the street when I'm home. Yes he might be younger than me, and a young man, but maybe his favorite color is yellow, maybe he likes the Phillies, maybe he has two sisters, maybe he likes to paint, maybe, just maybe, he's not that different from me at all. And that's what both Wes Moore and Professor Church were trying to make young people like myself understand. It all goes back to the paratroopers. We can't stay in the plane, we have to jump, but we have to jump together. Am I willing to "partner" with someone who appears so different? Am I willing to take the chance? Am I willing to risk my own life, maybe, by reaching out to them?

         Right before I got to college, I took a few ridiculous goals off my list, revised a few old ones and   added a few new ones. I always wanted to teach, but going to college made that a reality. So what? What did I want to teach?  Who did I want to teach? Where did I want to teach? Why did I want to teach? Originally I wanted to teach Theology, but somehow English squeezed into the picture. I think it all makes sense now. I want to teach students, from all different cultural backgrounds and in the inner city of Philadelphia's poorest neighborhoods. Why? Not to save these students from some type of crime, gang life, or drug and alcohol addiction, but to feel solidarity with my fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to live what they live and work for a better world in solidarity with all people. That goal is more like a dream, a dream formulated by so many, including both Wes Moores and Professor Church.

Life's a Stage and God is the Director - Charlotte's Web Part Two

"No matter what, always remember that what you do is God's work. Every time you bring joy to another's life, you are doing God's work."

    I did it. I was really trying not to, but today, as we all held hands during our pre-show prayer, a little tear slowly formed in my eye and leaked out over the side of my eyelid. Then, it happened again in the other eye. Before I knew it, I had tears dripping down my face. Oh God, I thought, my make-up is all ruined now. AND I look like a blubbering idiot. Who cries during prayers? Oh wait...me. We finished with an Our Father, and our usual, "I feel good. I feel great. I feel the poooooooower within." Then I opened my eyes. 

    For the past week, I've been fighting off the tears that build up during our director's pep talks. But really, she always makes me want to cry good tears of great feeling within. Not only was she my stage director for the past three months, but also my teacher. And yet, the hats are different. In class, sister. At practice, real, legitimate, human being. She never wore her habit to practice because...well, you can't exactly move up and down and all around the stage quickly in a skirt. Yet, there was no difference between her in class empowerment and her at practice empowerment. Whether we were being critiqued or commended, she always reminded us that we are doing God's work. 

     I have no words for her and yet, I have all the words in the world. She is one of the most amazing, influential, empowering women I have ever met. While at one time in my college career I actually questioned why she ever became a sister, I know how sincerely she really uplifts all the values of her religious life. She may be viewed as a little radical from her sisters, but from a college student's perspective, she is so real and alive and full of sincerity. She literally jumps right on the stage with us, act out certain parts for us, becomes one with us. There is no boundary between sister and student, it is actress to actress/actor. The mentor in her comes out only after practice.

     After practice, especially the final dress rehearsals, when we have our final evaluation/pep talk. While I've heard the rumor that she can get pretty feisty when things go wrong, I can only believe that she is so passionate. Every single word that she speaks is truer because of that passion and maybe, compassion. Things go wrong, yes, but she believes in us, and you can feel that resonate all throughout you as if she is speaking only to you. She gives us our stage notes, the things we need to improve on ASAP, and then she builds up our morale. 

     I can't tell you how many times she has told us about the kids we would be acting for. She told us that the kids might come from rich families or might be inner city kids. Some kids might have never ever seen a show in a real theatre before while others may have gone to broadway on a yearly basis. Some kids know tragedy, real tragedy, while others only know fictional tragedy. Regardless of who they are, we are bringing them joy and joy is God's work within us. 

    Every time she brought up the kids, especially at our pre-show prayers, I would fight off tears. These are the kids I might teach one day. These are kids I want to get to know, to be a ray of sunshine and hope for. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life. And maybe this week, was a week where I needed those kids more than they might have needed me. They inspired me, they brought joy to my life by their laughter, their conversations, and their smiles. I guess that's why I'm an education major!

    As I walking back from the show by myself in the rain today (a sad situation to most but so peaceful to me), I stumbled upon one of the other sisters on campus. Since it was Saturday she was all dressed down out of habit (which was slightly normal for me to be like, OH HEY SIS...) and we walked together, talking about the show. I told her how it was a hard decision for me to get back into theatre, but I did it. And then, I told her that the moment I got back on the stage in front of those kids, I realized how much I really missed theatre and being on the stage. Then Sister reminded me that education is more or less a stage since we are acting in front of our students! It made me think that maybe life is a stage and God is the director. However, like many actors and actresses, we can deviate from the script or even the director's notes. The director can get frustrated, but like my director, God will never lash out, or yell, or show complete forgiveness. Instead, God will empower us and then give us a second chance!! Yep, life is a stage and God is the director!! Congrats Cue and Curtain Cast of Charlotte's Web!! We did it!!

Letters to Santa Claus

     My current Facebook status: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good in Biology class...watching cats on Youtube and blogging." I would be lying if I said I was doing our assignment. Truthfully, I should be looking up energy information and animal species for Niger for my final project. But what I'm really doing is ... ok diversion, I actually went back to working on my project because I knew I wouldn't have time to do it at any other time. So now, after class, here I am finishing my blog post for the day.

     My observation group and I, let's just say we're close. We're so close that we go to every extreme to take awkward observation group photos with Santa to give to our favorite nun on campus, who we have deemed the Sister Snowflake 2011. Honestly, I love my observation group so much. We like to joke around and say that one day they'll start a sitcom about us. Something along the lines of "Always Sunny In Philadelphia" but instead call it, "It's Always Rainy on Thursdays," because it rains every single Thursday we are out on observations for education! Yeah, we're a bit crazy, but these people are some of my closest friends.

     When we went to visit Santa, he wasn't as confused as we expected him to be. Actually, after we took the picture, he chatted with us for a good twenty minutes encouraging us to come back every year to get a picture with him to create a memory book of who we are friends with and where we are in our lives. We were talking about our futures with Santa and told him how we will all be teachers. Jokingly my friend said that they would have to fly me in from Haiti so I could be in the picture with my habit. I told him, I'll probably actually be in the city teaching in my school that I established OR in Ghana. But I don't want to jinx anything like Sr. Luke did in A Nun's Story. Santa told us that these are the memories we will remember the most; not stressing out over tests and exams but going out just to get a picture and grab some lunch. And he's right. These are the people who promise that they will come pick me up from whichever convent I wind up in to take me out for lunch and a Santa picture. There was talk the other day about seeing the Easter Bunny, too. But I think that might be pushing it! Oh, such is the life of a college student discerning to be a religious sister!