Vocations In English Class

"Miss Gutherman, 

do nuns wear pajamas?"

- five of my students in unison

     One of the first things they teach us in those "How to be a Teacher" classes is that you must never let your students know your weaknesses. Okay that might not be entirely true, but there is some truth to it. They tell us to always be a least two steps ahead of your students, to never laugh so as to encourage misbehavior, etc. Of course, showing your class your weaknesses could definitely do you in for some damage. Weaknesses such as: deviation, getting off topic, the top ten pop songs of the day, talking about family, etc. As a student myself, I know how easy it is to want to get a teacher off topic. Get the teacher off topic, waste the rest of the class period. I had always vowed to never let this happen, but it is inevitable. Especially when your students find your weakness...oh and my 8th period found mine already: Nuns.

      It all started after their vocabulary test. I was going over the assignment sheet for the next unit (the Odyssey...YESSSS!) when I decided to jump start on Monday's Poetry Appreciation Jam. We are finishing up the Poetry unit by bringing in our favorite poems or poems we have written. So, not wanting to waste those valuable ten minutes left in class, I pulled up some of my poetry on my Google Docs Drive and gave them the choice to pick one or two. They picked: "Menacing Fall", a poem I had written not too long ago about the perils of walking to work. Of course, even though they didn't even have to work, the just had to listen to me recite poetry, they wanted to get off topic. That's when the questions began: "Miss Gutherman, where do you work? You work with nuns? Is it fun? Do you know all the nuns? Are they nice?" and then all of a sudden, in unison, five of my students ask: "Do nuns wear pajamas?"

     In all the vocation talks or conversations I have given or had with all types of people, without a doubt, that question has come up. Do nuns wear pajamas? Well, yes, in fact, they do. I always laugh when I hear that question and Friday was no exception. When all of my students said that in unison, I legitimately lost all composure. I was fine answering questions until then. I just burst into hysterical laughter and I knew the class was over. I had completely lost them. Or so I thought.

     The truth is, I would do anything to talk about theology, religious life and nuns for an entire class period, but the English curriculum doesn't really lend itself to that. Bummer, right? However, I am always one for embracing the Spirit when it comes. So when the questions came on Friday, I couldn't help but answer them. I wanted them to know all about the Sisters, to know that they are real people, that they are normal. The truth is, I deviated from the lesson plan because it was my Freshmen year that I re-discovered my own vocation. I deviated because I think it's so important that students, especially those who are surrounded by the sisters, know what the life is all about. I deviated because one day, I hope to be that awesome and cool Sister who nerds out over books and poetry and literature and research writing and my students were giving me that hope. 

     When my students decided to deviate from the lesson plan on purpose, little did they know how much of a confirmation they were for me. When people ask me how my student teaching is going, I simply say: "It's so great! I absolutely love it!" There is such truth in that. I love teaching so much. I have always wanted to be a teacher, ever since before I can remember, and I absolutely love it now. I cannot wait to have my own classroom and teach my own lessons and have my own students. I cannot wait to decorate the room, dance around the room teaching and inspire. But even more so, I cannot wait to do all of this and more as a Sister. Just as young girls dream of their ideal wedding, I dream of my ideal classroom where my Husband comes to work with me everyday. 

      I didn't tell my students that I am discerning this vocation and that sooner or later I will most definitely be entering the religious life. I didn't tell my students anymore than that I simply work at the convent. However, I have a feeling that somehow, it will casually slip out. It might come during another Friday afternoon deviation from the lesson, it might come during a lesson, it might come during a conversation with my students after school or before school or at lunch. Or maybe they will just ask because I wear my heart on my sleeve and somehow they will just know. I have a feeling some of them are already catching on.

       The truth is, they didn't ask me, but after school on Friday, when I stopped in to see Sister Margaret Peter to wish her a happy weekend, she did. We are neighbors in the hallway and often we stop for a few minutes just to chat. A few days ago she was subbing for my co-op teacher and we were able to have a longer talk than usual. We briefly talked about life, her vocation story and other things.  I mentioned having my own Christian Prayer Book (the Divine Office book with which the Sisters pray daily) and going to daily Mass. I didn't think anything of it. When I stopped in, my first sentence was: Hey Sister...want to hear a funny story? My students want to know if you wear pajamas. We laughed and suddenly she asked if I was serious about religious life. Confident, I said, "Yes. Have been for quite a few years now. Someday." She smiled as if to say, I knew it. 

        I never expected my students to suddenly bring up the nuns just as I never expect anyone to call me out on my vocation. People look at me and tell me they just know. Maybe with my students, they know but they can't put it into words. However, they did ask me if I had a boyfriend. And I said no. If they ask me, I will be honest, and perhaps it will open their hearts to this life. The truth is, there was no way I could follow all those highly suggested DO NOT DEVIATE lessons I had learned in my "How to be a Teacher" classes because in all honesty, God put it on their hearts somehow and I was there with the answers. Who knows, maybe somehow, they will be inspired and answer the call in their own hearts. They may have found out my weakness, but it is actually a strength. Hey, I love talking about the nuns, but I also love leading little hearts to Jesus. Whoever thought vocations could come up in my English classroom?

And just for kicks...here's the poem that started it all:

Menacing Fall

I put my life on the line every day.

Do they know how dangerous it is to walk to work?

Squirrels and tree limbs

chuck acorns at my head.

and yet,

leaves playfully dance around me,

begging my feet to join the waltz.

the trees,

they laugh at me

hugging my sweater close against the wind.

and in response,

I return the favor,

laughing at the silliness of the leaves,

unsure of what colors they should wear today.

some choose scarlet,

others crimson,

others still fluorescent  oranges and yellows.

and then, the traditionalists refuse to change from Summer Green.

this indecisiveness yields arguments among the masses

ending in few being through from the limbs.

but on the ground, they dance and laugh with me,

mocking the unconventional beauty of a mismatched dress.

I spread my wings, finally letting the wind lead me in the dance; he is quite the gentleman.

and just as I begin to float, a squirrel chucks another acorn at my head.

I put my life on the line every day.

Do they know how dangerous it is to walk to work?

Today I Will: Teach Something!

"Learn something."

- The Blindside

      All my life, all I've ever wanted to do was teach. I would set up all my stuffed animals and teach them whatever I knew at four years old. When I started kindergarten, I would attempt to teach my one year old sister the alphabet and everything I was learning in school from letter sounds to Jesus. As I got older, I was the homework helper. I always learned best in school by teaching other students or working together in pairs. For as long as I could remember, I've wanted to teach and ever so quickly it's becoming a reality. 

     For the past three years, I have spent every single Thursday observing in various schools in various districts with various age groups and grades in various subject matters. I have always loved kids and being in any classroom always excited me. I just wanted to teach them all about the world. Every little school I was in, I was reminded of all the times I spent in my grade school volunteering as a "Lunch Sister" or classroom aide. I loved having the little ones run up to me just to say hi or show me their artwork. But I was dying to get into a high school classroom. And eventually, I got there. I observed students falling asleep in English class. The more I saw, the more I wanted to teach.

     I had been so blessed with so many wonderful teachers in my life and I wanted to pass on the heritage. I had teachers who instilled in me a love for English and Theology (and History and even, Science). I had teachers who made me excited to learn, who made me never want to leave class, who spoke to my heart about life. I wanted to do that. I wanted my students to feel the same as I did in my own classes. 

    I had a taste of that in Peru. I would jump all around the classroom, illustrating their Edgar Allan Poe short stories on the wipe off board and tell them how exciting it was to study the creepiness of the Tell-Tale Heart or the Black Cat. After school, they would gather all around me, fascinated by my accent, by my skin, by my hair but by the end of three and a half weeks, they were gathered around me asking for advice for class, for projects and for friendships. Somewhere along the line, I had made a difference. Somewhere, I had shown my students that they could ask me anything, and I would do my best to answer them. Somewhere along the line, I felt that I was achieving my dream. 

     Flash forward to this past Monday when my dream began to come even closer to coming true. I stepped foot in room 208 and suddenly, I was no longer Becca; I was Miss Gutherman. I was no longer a student at Immaculata but a Student Teacher. Suddenly, I gained over a hundred new cherubs and angels and princesses. Suddenly, I was happier than I had ever been. 

     I had asked for prayers for my first day of Student Teaching on facebook and got well over 100 likes and many more prayers I am sure. I had began my day with Mass at the Motherhouse (6:30 AM...oi) and received many hugs and kisses of good luck from my dear Sisters. Every day since, I've been reporting for duty for Mass and I have been accepted as a regular. Every morning they send me on my way to school like a million moms sending their only daughter to school. And later, when I'm at work, they ask me how my day went. It reminds me of how the mom in the movie Blindside sends her children off to school every day by saying : "Learn Something." However, instead of my Sisters telling me to learn, they tell me to Teach Something. And every day, I walk up to the our classroom thinking about what I will teach my students. 

     Already this week I have introduced Anglo-Saxon Riddles, wrote some myself and had my students, two days later, recite them in front of the class. I couldn't help but smile. We also worked on a research project in the computer lab. The English nerd in me is so excited every day walking into the classroom. Who knows what my co-op teacher is going to through in front of me? Never mind that, all teaching is thinking on your feet. It's been a few days, and this morning I was greeted in the parking lot by two of my students. They smiled, asked about my night and told me they couldn't wait to hand in their riddles. WHAT?! They were excited already?! I felt like dancing. If they were this excited about riddle writing, the rest of the Semester is going to be so easy.

     I love my students. It's been five days and already they so easily bring a smile to my face and laughter to my heart. I'm already planning to attend their sports games/matches and concerts. They usually come into the classroom with smiles so big and they are always full of conversation. Sometimes, I can't help but laugh at them. As many teenage girls are, they can be dramatic, but it doesn't make me love them less. I can't wait until I am their full teacher for a good four - six weeks. Right now, I am just doing various lessons with them. But that's okay. Everyday, I wake up at the crack of dawn excited to teach. 

     Student Teaching, one week in, has already been a beautiful taste of reality that I can't wait to fully grasp. Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in the air and proclaim how much I love teaching. And the more excited I get about teaching, the more respect I seem to get for my profession by those not in the education field. It amazes me how much of a difference a teacher can make. I can honestly say, that while I may have a million other things to do like my own homework, play practice and sleeping, I love teaching more than anything. I get up everyday at 5am for my girls. I drive straight into the sunshine everyday for these students of mine that I already love so much. I will stay up as long as it takes to conjure a lesson that will not only speak to their minds but to their hearts. Everyday, I wake up with this reminder that I have one job to do: teach something, anything, to your students, with love. 

Sure, Knock Your Socks Off - Peruvian Adventure Part Two

"I can understand these people better, now I know."

 - Brooks Jenkins, "Loneliness"

     We thought the saying was long gone, and so did the sisters here in Peru. But then Madrecita said it. It must be a Nebraska thing we all said and she laughed. Knock your socks off, a phrase that was once so common and has seemingly passed to the wayside has become our new catch phrase. Can we do this? Sure, knock your socks off. Can we do that? Sure, knock your socks off. Can we eat this? Sure, knock your socks off. Needless to say, my socks have been knocked off quite a lot. 

     I know from all the pictures it seems that there is all fun and no work. Well, let me be frank: when you love what you do, it cannot nearly be considered work. The truth is, the sisters have been trying to hard to give us a Peruvian Culture crash course in the past few days. We were only in school two days last week since we arrived in the middle of the week, and our schedule has been crazy ever since. However, we are not aware of our schedules until the moment before something is about to happen. We got home early? Okay, let us do this and this and this and maybe that, too. We have been working super hard in the school as teachers, but we have also been experiencing everything under the sun. DISCLAIMER: I do not usually take pictures at work ;)

     On Saturday, we attended what we in the states would call a Carnival. In Peru, it is called a Kermesse. There were rides and food and lots of entertainment. The Kermesse was not just any old carnival though, it was a fundraiser for another IHM School. So, our being there benefitted the school. We were able to grab a bite of a Bembos Burger (since it WAS Memorial Day weekend) and walk around the grounds of the Villa Maria school. In the background were picturesque mountains piled high. It was like walking in a dream. 

     That night, when we got back from the Kermesse, we had plenty of time to knock our socks off. So, we headed into town to Santa Rosa of Lima and the Lord of the Miracles. We took a new bus which, of course yielded tons of new adventures. I love riding the bus with Sister Regina, a woman of exploration, because she truly has so much knowledge about the world of Peru. She always has a story to tell and I quite honestly, absolutely, positively LOVE it. The Shrine of St. Rose of Lima was simply beautiful. There is a tradition based on the story that she locked a belt around her waist and then through the key in the well so no one could ever open it. This tradition is that pilgrims from all over come and throw their wishes or prayer intentions in the well. Of course, we did it. We also had the chance to pray in the church (after Mass was over and we were done getting reprimanded by the Spanish Dominicans....). Immediately, when I knelt down on the wooden kneelers (no comforting pillows or anything, just wood), I was brought to tears. St Rose had touched my heart in such a way that I cannot even explain. I was still praying when the other girls and Sister left the Chapel and apparently, according to Sister, I was praying my little heart out. Down the block, we also we able to visit the Lord of the Miracles. I am not too familiar with the story but apparently it is an image of Jesus that has never been able to be knocked down. Quite impressive if you ask me! Our Saturday was packed full of adventure and I am so very, very blessed!

     The next day, we headed to Mass down the street in the ovulo. The ovulo is like those pain in the butt jug handles or circles they have in New Jersey, but instead of just being road, there are so many stores and parks and everything under the sun in the ovulo. Our ovulo has a church which is very simple and yet beautiful. Everything was in Spanish (shocker) but the music truly warmed my heart. I think that is what I miss the most about being here; being able to sing along to the music. After Mass, we had a light breakfast and then headed out the door to Montenegro. Once again, we found ourselves at something like a Carnival. It was not as big as a Kermesse and was called Bingo. It reminded me of an Ice Cream Social and Basket Auction. There were three other students and two sisters from IU, including my dear Sister Cathy, staying in Montenegro doing some nursing work. They had been testing the students for malnutrition and what a culture shock they had each experienced. It was so good to see familiar American faces running toward us across the patio. There, we were able to help with the Tombola and the selling of Hot Dogs, Aqua and Chorizos. In the Tombola, we had a crash course in Spanish numbers. Yeah, that was a bit confusing. Then, when selling the food and drinks, we had to be able to not only understand the Spanish but to be good in Math, too. After about five minutes, we had the hang of things and quite honestly, it has been one of my favorite memories so far. 

     Montenegro is so deeply a part of my heart. The amount of obvious poverty is astounding and if it had not been for my previous experiences in working with the poor, I, too, would have experienced the culture shock my peers were experiencing. The people of that city, if you could call it that, are so gentle, simple and kind. Regardless of my lack of Spanish, they accepted me and loved me. Children I would say hola to would simply run into my arms for a hug and a kiss. Mothers and Fathers would smile and try to have a conversation with me. And the sisters, they were so happy. Being in Montenegro reiterated two things greatly in my heart: first, that I am meant to work with the poor and second, that true happiness is not in the amount of things you have but rather the amount of love which you give. I felt the happiest simply sitting with my friends in Montenegro helping at the Bingo than anywhere else that far. I know I am meant to work with the poor. 

     Monday we were headed back to Colegio San Antonio to get back in the classrooms. Two days in this week and I feel at home, with the sisters, the faculty and the students. Especially the students. We had more introductory classes yesterday since I meant some new students but today I did some teaching and I was happier than ever. It was another reiteration that I am meant to be a high school teacher. My girls are so good to me and I feel so blessed to teach them and laugh with them. Every morning I am greeted with hugs and kisses as per the culture down here and I would not trade it for the world. Tomorrow, my teacher has asked me to read to the girls so that they can hear the correct pronounciation of English words. I am so glad professor Mooney prepared me so well in my Literature class with Edgar Allan Poe, because I am reading to them The Fall of the House of Usher. What I have seen with the girls, and all the students really, is that they are eager to learn. I love their energy; it truly invigorates me. They speak English so well, some of them, while others struggle. However, I love my job here. It is so freeing and beautiful.

     In a lot of my personal reflections, I have thought about my duty to serve the poor and my fulfillment of Gods mission for me. There are a few things that are confirmations to me that I am exactly where I need to be at this present moment in time: snow (which we will never see here), sunflowers (which I am seeing constantly) and the Infant of Prague (which Sister Antonietta and I spoke about so wonderfully tonight). I have been recieving so many confirmations from God that right now, I am meant to be in Peru working with the people here, teaching them English. I am reminded every day of my blessings and the gifts I have been given. This place is changing me, as they promised it would. It is not changing me in a way in which I am different, but rather that I am being stretched. I am being stretched to see how much I truly believe God is loving through me. If I could sum up my experiences so far it would be to say: this is what happens when one truly, whole-heartedly and unreservedly gives herself to God - she experiences a peace of mind and heart like never before. And that, my friends, is what I am experiencing: a whole new peace. 

     One final aspect of this experience that I must elaborate on is living in community with the sisters. While I have done this many times before, I have never done so for such a long period of time. Already I believe the sisters know me. I have gotten to know each of the sisters in a different aspect. Sister Regina shares her stories simply on the bus. Sister Lisa and I share the Mass together. Sister Eileen stopped me in the kitchenette today just to tell me how obvious it is that I know Gods hand is in every aspect of my life and that she is always praying for me. Sister Antonietta shares my devotion to the Infant. Sister Angélica shares my gift for laughter. Sister Marie shares my deep devotion to loving the poor. And Sister Nelida, well she shares our youth. Getting to know the sisters has been such an experience. Just a little sidenote, not one of them, unless someone told them, knows that I am discerning a vocation to religious life. However, I think they are catching on to my secret. Sister Antonietta asked me after I mentioned that the Infant of Prague is the patron of those discerning vocations, and I said, well maybe, sister. Of course, soon after Sister Eileen caught me in the kitchenette and was telling me how much she is praying for me, because what I want to do is harder now than it was in her youth. Did she overhear me say something to Sister Antonietta, I do not know. But I have been told that even if I never utter a word about it, it is so obvious that my only desire is to do Gods will and love Him whole-heartedly for the rest of my life. And while I could easily do that as a married woman, I know that He is asking a little bit more of me. Let us see, if by the end of the month, they know.