What's Your Price Tag? - A Story of Chastity

"We must practice modesty, not only in our looks, 

but in our whole deportment, and particularly in our dress, 

our walk, our conversation, and all similar actions."

- St. Alphonsus Ligouri

    If you were to randomly walk in my Catholic Social Teaching class today or yesterday or even last week you would probably have some of the following initial thoughts: where is the rest of the class? are there really that many students out sick? why are the lights off? why are they listening to music during prayer? and many more. The rest of my class does not exist; I have a whopping six this quarter. While many teachers may panic at that thought, I have fallen in love with this notion. Usually all six are present, however, it still makes the class seem small. We usually leave the lights off because the sun shines perfectly through the windows; why use extra energy when natural energy is sufficient? And finally, what better way to pray than by praying twice (St. Augustine)? However, also upon walking into my class these past few days, you would have heard conversations concerning the be C word. That's right Chastity. You would have seen it on the board, on our iPads, in our Google Docs and definitely on our lips. Chastity in Social Justice? But of course. 

      I typically do not post about controversial topics but the Spirit has really been moving me to write about this topic. Besides, I have no qualms preaching the usually unpopular Social Justice views of the Church in my class (maybe it's because they pay me? Just kidding!) so why shouldn't I continue my call to share awareness? Upon first thought, one may not think that Chastity has a place in a Social Justice classroom. One might also think that Humanae Vitae is a Church Document rather suited for college students studying Marriage and Family, not High School students. But each time I assign the 1968 Papal Encyclical written by Pope Paul VI, I am continuously made proud of my students who pull apart the document and summarize and understand it. Today, my students finished reading a part of Humanae Vitae and once again, I was the proud teacher. 

     Without trying to get too heady, Article 2 of Humanae Vitae addresses various issues permeating our society today such as contraception, IVF, responsible parenthood, marriage. It indirectly leads to conversations about abortion, euthanasia, adoption, and other beginning/end of life issues about which Catholic Social Teaching is concerned. So now, you, in brief, understand why I require my students to read this document. A document which, by the way, I have seen college students struggle with understanding. Last week, I introduced our reading of Humanae Vitae by putting the word CHASTITY on the board. After getting a brief definition from a student, I quickly put a slash through the word and asked for results of a negligence to practicing chastity. The conversation quickly filled up the front board and the entire side board (yes, despite technology permeating the hallways of the school, I still used chalk and subsequently fulfilled my teacher dream of getting chalk all over my pants) with Social Justice issues that stem from a negligence to practicing Chastity. Imagine their surprise when such huge Social Justice issues were connected with such a "simple" topic of Chastity. 

     My students are aware of the fact that I am 4-5 years older than they are. While many professors would encourage would be teachers to NOT reveal their ages to their students, especially if there is a small age gap, I feel it is necessary for my students to know that I am a part of their generation. There is a comfort in the classroom when it comes to discussing various topics and also, my "young age" stands as proof that it is possible to live a CATHOLIC life and still be normal (a relative description, of course). My favorite part of teaching CST is the beginning of life issues, because so many start with Chastity, a topic so rarely touched in today's society. Why is it my favorite? Well, because being so young and so close in age to my students, I can see the thinking gears going when I mention that Chastity is possible. 

     As I was preparing for my class today, I was blessed to talk to a good friend's mom on the phone. She is coming to guest speak to my class in two weeks about adoption and we were going over some topics of discussion. I caught her up on what my students will know by the time she comes to visit and somehow, we got to talking about reading Humanae Vitae and practicing Chastity. She mentioned how rare it is that young people hear about the importance of chastity from other young people. We started talking about how women are so much more under attack from the devil because of our vulnerability. While it is true that both man and woman are needed for the creation of a new child, the woman carries the new life. Without her temple, the child could not be born. Eve, a woman (in case you forgot) was targeted before Adam because women are naturally modeled to be more emotionally vulnerable than men. It is a beautiful thing, truly, but the devil knows this to be true and attacks it at any given chance. Today, this is also true. He continues to attack the vulnerability of women. He confuses the minds of young women by falsely showing physical actions as emotional love. He confuses the minds of young women by giving them every "good" reason to neglect the practice of chastity. 

    I brought this up to my students in class after we finished reading and summarizing Humanae Vitae. Of course, teaching in an all girl school usually means that students are chopping at the bit to discuss feminism at any given chance. Isn't it a feminist argument in talking about being under attack by the devil? I think so. I took advantage of our class today (a true teachable moment) to talk gently about Chastity. Many Catholics grow up with the belief that "sex is bad;" a very Puritan take on relationships. However, the Church believes quite the opposite. Humanae Vitae clearly says that the marital acts between a man and woman are good; procreative and unitive yielding a beautiful marriage. With very logistical reasons, I explained to my students why the Church believes in Chastity and the thinking gears were turning as they began to understand that sex within marriage is a beautiful thing, especially after a life of Chastity is pursued before marriage. 

     The truth is this: a life of chastity pursued before marriage yields fidelity in a marriage. By one's physical action of waiting for marriage, one proclaims, by his or her body, that the physical gift of self belongs only to the spouse. It proclaims, "I will wait until I verbally give my whole self to you, to give my whole self physically." A practice of chastity before marriage yields greater, more wholesome marriages and families. A practice of chastity leads to true, loving sexual relationships with the purpose of being unitive and procreative. Of course, all of this can be found in Church Documents and Encyclicals. But where is Chastity in society?

     Having sex is so often regarded as a right of passage of sorts in relationships. For example, if two people have been in a relationship for six or nine months (or any given amount of time) and not yet have had sex, then something must be wrong, right? Wrong. There is the familiar concept of getting to second and third base and scoring a home run. But why? Does it grind my gears when people ask I've "done anything yet" in my current relationship? Yes. Because quite honestly, yes I've done some things....some things like watch Netflix, go ice skating, hold hands, go out to dinner, go for walks in the snow with my dog, go on wholesome double dates with my ten-year old Sister and her 8 year old boy best friend. But "done anything yet" is said with the indication that is the question is not "what type of dates?" but rather "what level of sexual achievement have you reached?" Why is it so hard to believe that chastity is practiced? Because the devil permeates society by saying that sex is the only way to express love. 

     My students know how much chastity permeates my heart. It is not only by my personal witness and story telling, but rather my passion in classroom instruction, that they understand the importance of chastity in my own life. In the beginning of the quarter, I start the course by explaining to them that we are Princesses because we share in the royalty of God both because we are made in His image and because He has made use with such great price. God intends us each to be a pearl of great price, not fake gold. (Trust me when I say, pearl earrings cost way more than gold plated sterling silver). God's intent was to make us so beautiful and for each of us to recognize the beauty in each other. I am a pearl and my students are pearls; I am not to treat them like cheap gifts. I am not to treat them less than their true value of Imago Dei and vice versa. The same is implied when it comes to chastity. My students are young women to be treated by young men as the pearls of great price. They are to be treated as true gifts. 

       I tell my students often that "what you wear and how you act is what you advertise." By their actions and attire they proclaim a price tag. They are pearls of great price but society so often encourages us to cheapen ourselves to a "lesser price." That is the devil after us. He puts false advertisement on sex; there is no disclaimer about the negative effects. The devil falsely proclaims that sex empowers whereas the reality is that chastity empowers. My virginity is a gift I am saving. We wouldn't give a strand of pearls to just anyone, right? If I am called to marriage, that gift is reserved for my husband and it is a gift he will receive only after we say "I do." If I am called to religious life, it is a gift I offer to Jesus and I ask Him to make me fruitful in spiritual ways. 

      Practicing chastity is not easy and it is a daily prayer of mine. I pray for the ability to remain chaste and for my students to find the beauty in remaining chaste. I tell my students every day that we must be women who, "when we wake up in the morning, the devil says, 'oh crap, she's up.'" By my very prayers for chastity, I am already stomping all over the devil's plan to lessen my price tag. By practicing chastity, we ruin the plans of the devil. If that is not empowering for women, I don't know what is. 

      Now, I was going to wait until Valentine's Day to share the following with many of you, but I feel this topic lends itself to the story. It is with full understanding that I very much still feel the desire and call to religious life that I was asked out on a date many times my Senior year. It was with that strong desire still permeating my heart that I denied the request for a date. Of course, the pure pursuing continued the summer after graduation until finally, after much prayer, I felt God was asking me to try the dating scene one more time. (I think I will share that story on Valentine's Day...be sure to check back!) Being 22 and 23 years old, there is no question that the sexual "norms and pressures" surround our relationship. But there is nothing more empowering than hearing, "I will wait for you." You see, he waited a whole year (maybe more) for me to simply agree to go on a date. He promises me that waiting longer for the beauty of sex is worth the wait. He tells me that it makes him stronger as a Catholic man. He tells me that I am the pearl of great price and I am beautifully deserving chastity. Of course, what truly melts my heart is when he tells me that he knows religious life is still a viable option for me. He knows that I may very well enter religious life, even after dating him. He knows that our dating relationship is part of the discernment process. It is with this knowledge that he reminds me that there is no way he could ask me to give up my gift prematurely if it is meant to be given to Jesus. 

     Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention this: when I teach CST, I am pray for gentleness. Many Social Justice issues are wake-up calls to my students. However, our Church preaches gentleness and compassion overall. It would not be following the example of Pope Francis if I did not mention compassion toward those who may have read this and felt that it was too late to practice chastity. Statistics say that teenagers and even children are losing their innocence sooner and sooner. It is with much compassion that I address the beginning of life issues formerly mentioned in this post and even greater compassion that I address chastity. I remind my students, especially when the question of "am I going to hell now?" comes up, of the story of Jesus and the woman caught in the act of adultery. Jesus said, "Let the one without sin be the first to cast the stone." My job as teacher is not to condemn but rather to love the sinner not the sin. Pope Francis encourages us to love unconditionally, without judgement. And so I say this, when talking about chastity, I remind my students that there is always a chance for starting over, for reconciliation. When an expensive piece of jewelry gets chipped or upset in some way, we take it to the jeweler to be fixed and refurnished. Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation is our jeweler, fixing the dents, cracks and scrapes in our pearls of great price. 

    Living out chastity is so difficult in our society today. Many of our Social Justice issues can be traced back to a negligence to practicing chastity, however, now is the perfect time to start anew. Now is the time to begin living out chastity for ourselves and being that example for our young people. Now is the time to start learning about how we can be Social Justice Advocates simply by living out chastity. And of course, now is the time to start promoting healthy dating relationships that lead to beautiful and wholesome marriages. Now is the time to recognize our worth as the pearl of great price. Now is the time to up the price on our price tag! 

Princesses and Super-Heroines

"We are all made in the image and likeness of God.

God in king. If we are made in His likeness, we, too, are royalty. 

Let's learn to treat each other as such."

- Miss G

    Yesterday was my very first day of teaching my very first official class. It's been a day that I have been waiting for...for, well, as long as I can remember. I was like a little kid on Christmas morning. For what seems like forever, I have wanted to teach. I remember teaching my stuffed animals, my younger sisters, my peers and realizing that I must be called to be a teacher. As I started my college career and taking education classes, that realization turned into a dream and now, it's a reality. The margins of all my notebooks in college were covered in random lesson plan ideas and brainstorming for ways to present various types of material. I would think of something and write it down to save it for my eventual classes. All last week, ideas were busting out of every single crevice of my brain and onto the paper. However, the idea I had for my very first class came from a conference that I attended a while back and a Christian singer-songwriter. I'd like to share that with you now. 

     The name of the song is "Hello, My Name Is...." written by Matthew West (listen below). I had heard the song many, many times but it simply was another good song on KLOVE. That was until I found myself at the Women of Faith Conference during which Matthew West was performing. He presented to us the inspiration behind his latest album: other people's stories. And behind the story of this particular song is a young man Jordan who used to introduce himself as "Hello, my name is Jordan and I'm a drug addict." The story was about Jordan's addiction to painkiller drugs after a brutal accident on the field. After some therapy and rehab, however, Jordan can now proudly introduce himself in this way, "Hello, my name is Jordan and I am a Child of the Risen King." This concept got me truly thinking and honestly, I spent the next hour jotting down an activity for my class rather than listening to the next speaker. Here's what I came up with:

      The class I teach is titled, Catholic Social Teaching. For those of you who know me, you know that CST is one of my biggest passions for many reasons but mostly because it provides me with an outlet to be a very loud and proud, Catholic, woman. CST is often referred to the Church's Best Kept Secret. There's no question about it that many Catholics in today's day and age do not know about it. However, our present Pope is doing a awful lot to promote it. The first thing that everyone needs to know about CST is that it begins and ends with Human Dignity. Human Dignity is not something we are all often mindful of. Human Dignity is expressed in the way we smile or don't smile at people we pass by, the way we drive, the way we treat those by which we are surrounded, those who would not necessarily give attention to, etc. Labels are things that often inhibit us from expressing human dignity because instead of referring to someone by their name, we refer to them by their negative attributes. In the example of Jordan: he was referred to as the Drug Addict, not Jordan. 

     And so, I encouraged the students to write down their names on some "Hello, my name is..." stickers. Then I asked them to write a negative attribute that they associate with or a sin that they often battle with. I suggested words like regret, lack of self-esteem, quiet, etc. We listened to the song and then I asked if anyone wanted to share their labels. Afterward, I played the video for them. In the story, there's a theme of redemption. At the end, Jordan says, "I no longer say, 'I am a drug addict' but rather, 'Hello, my name is Jordan and a child of the one true King." I had the girls then write positive labels for each other. Labels that would recognize their human dignity. Then again, I asked for anyone to share. One student said, "I wrote down sheepish for my negative. And she wrote 'leader of the herd.'" It was so perfect. 

     I later went on to explain that we are all made in the image and likeness of God. God is the King...He is royalty. Therefore we are made in the image and likeness of royalty, thus, making us all princes and princesses. They all really liked that concept. But the curve ball was this: WE ARE ALL...so why are there instances when we don't treat others like the princes and princesses we are? If we believe we are princesses and request to be treated as princesses, why can we not fulfill the same requests of our brothers and sisters, our fellow princes and princesses? It was a thought provoking conversation and we left the classroom thinking about being princesses and treating others just the same. 

      My next day's lesson began with a creative writing prompt. The prompt read: create a super-heroine and describe her character. Explain how she promotes human dignity and why that is a super power. Of course, I asked a few students to share. After that I professed that each of us could easily be that super-heroine. We each have the super-powers to promote human dignity. Even if we don't wear a crown or a cape, we are still princesses and super-heroines. 

      While it may sound pretty cheesy to teach this to 17 and 18 year old girls, the truth of the matter is this: as kids we pretended to be princesses and super-heroines. We really believed that we could do that. So...why can't we do it anymore? Why can't we treat each other like the royalty that we are? We can't we start saving the world little by little to promote human dignity? I don't see why not...We need to go back to the beliefs we had as children, as little girls. Children have the deepest belief of God and goodness...we need to go back to that. 

     And so...think about your labels. Transform them into prince or princess, super-hero or heroine. Realize that all of those surrounding you are royalty, made in the image and likeness of God, the King. Treat each other like royalty, with dignity, with truth and with justice. Simple be kind and love. 

Vocations In English Class

"Miss Gutherman, 

do nuns wear pajamas?"

- five of my students in unison

     One of the first things they teach us in those "How to be a Teacher" classes is that you must never let your students know your weaknesses. Okay that might not be entirely true, but there is some truth to it. They tell us to always be a least two steps ahead of your students, to never laugh so as to encourage misbehavior, etc. Of course, showing your class your weaknesses could definitely do you in for some damage. Weaknesses such as: deviation, getting off topic, the top ten pop songs of the day, talking about family, etc. As a student myself, I know how easy it is to want to get a teacher off topic. Get the teacher off topic, waste the rest of the class period. I had always vowed to never let this happen, but it is inevitable. Especially when your students find your weakness...oh and my 8th period found mine already: Nuns.

      It all started after their vocabulary test. I was going over the assignment sheet for the next unit (the Odyssey...YESSSS!) when I decided to jump start on Monday's Poetry Appreciation Jam. We are finishing up the Poetry unit by bringing in our favorite poems or poems we have written. So, not wanting to waste those valuable ten minutes left in class, I pulled up some of my poetry on my Google Docs Drive and gave them the choice to pick one or two. They picked: "Menacing Fall", a poem I had written not too long ago about the perils of walking to work. Of course, even though they didn't even have to work, the just had to listen to me recite poetry, they wanted to get off topic. That's when the questions began: "Miss Gutherman, where do you work? You work with nuns? Is it fun? Do you know all the nuns? Are they nice?" and then all of a sudden, in unison, five of my students ask: "Do nuns wear pajamas?"

     In all the vocation talks or conversations I have given or had with all types of people, without a doubt, that question has come up. Do nuns wear pajamas? Well, yes, in fact, they do. I always laugh when I hear that question and Friday was no exception. When all of my students said that in unison, I legitimately lost all composure. I was fine answering questions until then. I just burst into hysterical laughter and I knew the class was over. I had completely lost them. Or so I thought.

     The truth is, I would do anything to talk about theology, religious life and nuns for an entire class period, but the English curriculum doesn't really lend itself to that. Bummer, right? However, I am always one for embracing the Spirit when it comes. So when the questions came on Friday, I couldn't help but answer them. I wanted them to know all about the Sisters, to know that they are real people, that they are normal. The truth is, I deviated from the lesson plan because it was my Freshmen year that I re-discovered my own vocation. I deviated because I think it's so important that students, especially those who are surrounded by the sisters, know what the life is all about. I deviated because one day, I hope to be that awesome and cool Sister who nerds out over books and poetry and literature and research writing and my students were giving me that hope. 

     When my students decided to deviate from the lesson plan on purpose, little did they know how much of a confirmation they were for me. When people ask me how my student teaching is going, I simply say: "It's so great! I absolutely love it!" There is such truth in that. I love teaching so much. I have always wanted to be a teacher, ever since before I can remember, and I absolutely love it now. I cannot wait to have my own classroom and teach my own lessons and have my own students. I cannot wait to decorate the room, dance around the room teaching and inspire. But even more so, I cannot wait to do all of this and more as a Sister. Just as young girls dream of their ideal wedding, I dream of my ideal classroom where my Husband comes to work with me everyday. 

      I didn't tell my students that I am discerning this vocation and that sooner or later I will most definitely be entering the religious life. I didn't tell my students anymore than that I simply work at the convent. However, I have a feeling that somehow, it will casually slip out. It might come during another Friday afternoon deviation from the lesson, it might come during a lesson, it might come during a conversation with my students after school or before school or at lunch. Or maybe they will just ask because I wear my heart on my sleeve and somehow they will just know. I have a feeling some of them are already catching on.

       The truth is, they didn't ask me, but after school on Friday, when I stopped in to see Sister Margaret Peter to wish her a happy weekend, she did. We are neighbors in the hallway and often we stop for a few minutes just to chat. A few days ago she was subbing for my co-op teacher and we were able to have a longer talk than usual. We briefly talked about life, her vocation story and other things.  I mentioned having my own Christian Prayer Book (the Divine Office book with which the Sisters pray daily) and going to daily Mass. I didn't think anything of it. When I stopped in, my first sentence was: Hey Sister...want to hear a funny story? My students want to know if you wear pajamas. We laughed and suddenly she asked if I was serious about religious life. Confident, I said, "Yes. Have been for quite a few years now. Someday." She smiled as if to say, I knew it. 

        I never expected my students to suddenly bring up the nuns just as I never expect anyone to call me out on my vocation. People look at me and tell me they just know. Maybe with my students, they know but they can't put it into words. However, they did ask me if I had a boyfriend. And I said no. If they ask me, I will be honest, and perhaps it will open their hearts to this life. The truth is, there was no way I could follow all those highly suggested DO NOT DEVIATE lessons I had learned in my "How to be a Teacher" classes because in all honesty, God put it on their hearts somehow and I was there with the answers. Who knows, maybe somehow, they will be inspired and answer the call in their own hearts. They may have found out my weakness, but it is actually a strength. Hey, I love talking about the nuns, but I also love leading little hearts to Jesus. Whoever thought vocations could come up in my English classroom?

And just for kicks...here's the poem that started it all:

Menacing Fall

I put my life on the line every day.

Do they know how dangerous it is to walk to work?

Squirrels and tree limbs

chuck acorns at my head.

and yet,

leaves playfully dance around me,

begging my feet to join the waltz.

the trees,

they laugh at me

hugging my sweater close against the wind.

and in response,

I return the favor,

laughing at the silliness of the leaves,

unsure of what colors they should wear today.

some choose scarlet,

others crimson,

others still fluorescent  oranges and yellows.

and then, the traditionalists refuse to change from Summer Green.

this indecisiveness yields arguments among the masses

ending in few being through from the limbs.

but on the ground, they dance and laugh with me,

mocking the unconventional beauty of a mismatched dress.

I spread my wings, finally letting the wind lead me in the dance; he is quite the gentleman.

and just as I begin to float, a squirrel chucks another acorn at my head.

I put my life on the line every day.

Do they know how dangerous it is to walk to work?