An Anniversary of Feast Day

"Now, we will stand and profess our faith. 

Then, we will pray with our petitions.

And then, we will go to a wedding."

- Fr. McCabe

Photo Courtesy of : The Photo People 

       December 8, 2018 was much different than December 8, 2017. And yet, there were many similarities. We spent our morning in church, surrounded by friends and family and sisters, and according to the celebrant, we were attending a wedding. As I sat with my husband of now one year in our college chapel on our University Feast Day, Dec 8, 2018, I felt the same overwhelming bliss I had felt a year ago on that day. I remember being asked when I was an undergraduate student, what my favorite university tradition was. While for others it may have been Carol Night, 100 Nights celebration or Senior Ball, my answer was always Feast Day. In it's most simple way, classes were cancelled, a celebratory Mass was said, there was a huge lunch in the cafeteria, and it was always the day my friends and I began our Christmas shopping. But one of the best moments of that day, was for only a few moments after the homily in Mass, the IHM Sisters renewed their vows in front of the entire congregation. And that, my friends, was the most beautiful moment. 

       Every year when I witnessed this beautiful profession of love, I would be moved to tears. The beauty overwhelmed me. It was as if all was standing still, all the saints were watching, the chorus of angels paused for a brief moment, and silence fell upon Heaven and Earth. It is a moment second only to how I imagine the moments immediately after the birth of Christ were spent. Silent, peaceful, all was watching. And I remember always thinking. Will I feel this way when I say my vows? Will I be overwhelmed with beauty and joy and goodness? I can now say, yes. Yes, I was. And how beautiful it is to share this day with the Sisters every year. 

      We were blessed to be able to attend Feast Day, a day that is always celebrated by Mighty Macs everywhere, on campus this year. Surrounded, just as we had been one year before, by the Sisters. Mother Mary, a woman after whom I attempt day after day to model my life, was shining as the most beautiful example of love. And of course, there was my favorite hymn, the Immaculata Conceptio. We spent the first half of Mass listening to the same readings that were used at our wedding, remembering back to sitting next to each other on the altar. These readings are ones with which we are so familiar, they are written on our hearts. Ones that we share with the Sisters every year. How blessed are we. 

      I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge one of the greatest Feast Day homilies I have ever heard. Because it was father's homily about true love as emulated by the sisters that lead me on a path of reflection much deeper for the rest of Mass. Father spoke about true love in ways so beautiful and I could not help but think God picked those words for us. Yet the more father spoke of the truest type of love as emulated by the Sisters, I could not help but agree wholeheartedly. Often it's little girls, who after having gone to many weddings of aunts, uncles, cousins and more, that they begin to dream of their own wedding. But for me, I was always enamored by the Sisters' renewal of vows. Somehow, deep in my heart, I was aware of the fact that this is a love deeper than any love I had witnessed at the altar. And often, young engaged couples are encouraged to look toward couples in their lives who have married for a long time for support and guidance. They are asked who has shown them true love and often the result is their parents or grandparents. But after father's homily, I began reflecting on who had really taught Joe and I how to love deeply and truly. 

     Our parents, of course, have given us great examples of love - persevering in times of challenge and struggle and rejoicing in moments of success. Our grandparents, too, have given us examples of deep, true love. There are even more couples in our families we could easily look to for longevity of marriage, true love and devotion. These people filled my heart as I considered who has taught Joe and I true love. But for each of us, these examples of true love had been known only to one of us for a while. Then, as we dated, became engaged and prepared for marriage, they became known to each of us. But there is one group of people who both of us had known for the same amount of time who has also taught us true love and we were reminded of that on Saturday at Mass. 

     Our Sisters, who had consistently shown us love and mercy on tests, papers, in work study positions, in extracurricular activities, and just day to day life. Their witness was a consistent example in our lives ever since both of us began undergrad. For years, we had witnessed them show love in the most simple and yet, most beautiful ways; through prayer, lifestyle and devotion to God and Mary. They have been an example for us both and each year, on our anniversary, we are reminded of that example of love and how we must put that love into action for each other. Every year we were blessed to witness their renewal of vows. Last year, they witnessed our profession of vows to one another. And this year, we renewed our vows together; the sisters by their words and witness and us by our silent prayer in our hearts. 

      One year has flown by. And yet, it has also seemed as if time has stood still. I have heard that time seemingly does not exist when you are with the one you love. You can blink and suddenly 50 years have flown by. Our year has held adventure, love, bliss, wonder, amazement, struggle, challenge and more. But above all, it has held depth of companionship. I have learned more about Joe and more about myself in this one year than I feel I have ever learned about us. We have learned about the truth of support for each other, more about selflessness, more about dedication to each other and  of course, how to plan meals around wacky schedules, how to make sure we are spending time living in the moment and taking time to just be with one another without any plans. This has been a year of learning, loving and so much more. But above all, despite the inevitable challenges, I have been consistently aware that we are blessed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZpTMZy65y8

   

The Blessed Gift of Spouse

"At home in bed a few weeks before he died, I asked him, 

'Can you breathe okay with my head on your chest like this?'

He answered, 'It's the only way I know how to breathe.'"

- "When Breath Becomes Air," Paul Kalanithi

    I've been debating whether or not to keep this blog, since it's original purpose seemingly doesn't exist. However, after obvious months of quiet and yes, contemplation, I was inspired yesterday to keep writing. It is, still, a road less traveled: two young people, married and Catholic who have lived their lives and continue to do so according to Catholic faith and practice. On September 8, Mary's birthday, we will be married for nine months. In those nine months, I've learned more than I ever thought possible. I've laughed more than I ever have, and yes, I've cried, too, but that's because tears are a good thing and I cry when I'm really happy. 

     A few weeks ago, one of the Sisters I am close with said to me, "You're so happy; I love talking to you and hearing about your life. I think that's what happens when you marry your best friend." Ten years ago, I had a different plan in my mind. I always say now, God had me on that path so I wouldn't end up with the wrong man. Joe and were friends for a while and I even knew his parents well before we started dating. I thought then, during our friendship, that his support was immense and wonderful. But I had no idea he would become all the more supportive when we got married. 

     The thing is, when I teach my Vocations and Human Sexuality class to my seniors, the girls always ask questions like, "Wouldn't you want to live together to know if you could live together before you were married?" "Don't you want to know everything you can about each other before you get married?" and "How will you know how each other functions before you get married?" We didn't live together until December 9 around 12:30AM after I drove there in a wedding dress. And we have survived nine months together. I didn't know some things about him and there are certainly things he didn't know about me. Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting on this, truly counting my blessings. 

      This morning, I forgot to change the toilet paper roll and there wasn't anything left on the roll. I made a mental note to replace it after I finished making breakfast, hopefully before Joe woke up. I forgot and later, long after he had left for work, I realized he had replaced the empty roll with a new one. Every night when I make dinner, I am usually a disaster in keeping the area clean. I pile dishes in the sink, there's almost always onion skin on the floor and I most definitely am always splashing sauce or gravy or marinade somewhere. I like to think it's my creative side showing, but I know it's just because I'm messy. After dinner, without complaint, he washes the dishes and fills the dish washer. He's really good at folding laundry, not so good at sorting it, so we split it. And every night, before bed, he fills a glass with water for me just in case I get thirsty in the middle of the night. 

     It's all these things that make me grateful for him, because he doesn't complain about sharing the duties or taking care of me. But remembering these things leads me to deeper reflection: I need him. I could survive on my own, yes. But his companionship completes me. I have realized over the past few weeks (and I realize this may be an audacious thing for a newly wed to say) why God gives us spouses. There are trials and tribulations that happen throughout life that we cannot plow through alone. Yes, we have friends and family who can be there to help us through, but our spouse is obligated to be there through good times and bad. I didn't marry Joe with the intent of keeping him around to be my support, but he has been that for me. Some days are filled with ups and downs and at the end of the day, my favorite place to be is in his arms. His arms are the strong walls of my home and in them, I feel the safest and most secure. When I'm not with him, despite whether I am currently happy, I miss him; I wish he was with me experiencing my joys, too. 

     God gives us spouses as companions, as friends, as confidantes, as people to share in our joys or our sorrows. I think what is most important is that Joe is my spouse and he's only for me and vice versa; I am only for him. How special and unique and amazing it is to think about that: God designed someone else to be my perfectly fitting puzzle piece. While God was creating me with all my personality, my quirks and my nooks and crannies, He was also creating Joe to perfectly compliment that for me. (Or maybe it's the other way around, since Joe is a few months older). It's fascinating, mind-boggling and not easy to fully grasp. We are only for each other because we were made that way. And I am so grateful for that gift. 

      The gift of my spouse is one that I have truly considered deeply in these last few days before school starts up again, mostly because I have had the time but also the inspiration. I've had many questions for God and our conversations have reached great depth. His answer to me over and over his been, "Trust my time. You need this trial to become stronger together. Keep strengthening your marriage." And so we have. Simply by being together and even at times, doing nothing together, we have been made stronger. Through consistent prayer and going to Mass together, our relationship with God, both individually and as a couple, has made us stronger. By seeing each other vulnerable and emotional, as well as over joyed and ecstatic, we have been made stronger. And without the other, we certainly couldn't be where we are today. God has blessed us through every up and down and I'm grateful for my spouse, the one who loves me beyond understanding, in good times and in bad. 

She Said Yes - Nun Wedding Take Two

"Thus says the Lord:

Here is my servant whom I uphold, 

my chosen one with whom I am well pleased, 

upon whom I have placed my spirit."

- Isaiah 42: 1-2

Photo Credit: Sister Angela Szczawinska, CSFN

    It's the second semester of the school year; my last semester as an undergrad. I moved back into my dorm room on Thursday morning and spent the day appropriately for a Senior. I wondered the campus visiting the sisters, having coffee  in the caf, hanging out in offices and of course, seeing all my friends after being separated from them for three weeks. Oh, class, you ask. I don't have class on Thursdays or Fridays. I continued the appropriate journey of my first day back as a second semester senior by visiting the Motherhouse and surprising the sisters and then going back to school to hangout in my friend's room until the odd hours of the night. I woke up early the next morning, headed to Mass and then I was on my way to the train station, barely having been on campus no more than 24 hours.

    It was time for the second adventure of the year 2014 (the first, having been New Orleans): Chicago. I have made a yearly visit to Chicago (truly, Des Plaines) for the past three years. While all of those times were special, this was an extremely special time. Finally, Sister Gabriela would be making final vows and I would be blessed to witness it. So, I boarded the train like a big girl, headed to the airport, printed out my ticket, passed through security and then waited in the terminal.
    As I was waiting to board, not only did my twin friends show up (we were taking the same flight), but I also made friends with an English teacher because I was reading a book. It amazes me how many friends I can make simply by being open to the Christ in others. I was reading a book and she was impressed, because no one reads books anymore. So then we shared stories and I told her how I am becoming a high school English teacher. It was nice and I knew then, that my journey to the Midwest was definitely going to be an eventful one.
    We landed in Chicago in the early afternoon and headed to the convent while catching up on life with Sister Sandie and Sister Lucille. Upon arriving, we were greeted by so many various sisters all over the house. There was a hustle and bustle just because "the girls were finally here safe." All the sisters were worried that our flight would be delayed or cancelled. But we made it. After supper, we all hurried around the dining room excitedly as we set the tables for the big celebration on Sunday. I've never quite counted that many forks and knives, but at least I got to do so with Sister Clare Marie. Then, of course, we had our informal game playing and catching up with a few sisters before bed. To our big surprise, the bride-to-be was home early from her retreat and thank God, because as only it can be in the Midwest, the winter weather was miserable.
     The next day was spent doing all types of crazy things. We started off with Mass and then breakfast with Sister Sandie and Sister Lucille's unit (while they live in one big house, there are different branches of the building and so the sisters live in both small and large community). We had choir practice (yes, we were assumed into the choir as honorary good voices), went on a crazy adventure during which I got to navigate Little Blue through Des Plaines and visit the United Nations' Shop'N'Save, and got to spend some teatime with the Novices and one of my best friends, Sister David. In the afternoon, we were busied with baking cookies and salad for the Bridal Shower. As always, however, I was stolen away from our little group to do various little decorating things because, and I quote, "Becca's creative. She can help you." It was a choice between two of my favorite things: baking and decorating. Of course, it was a bulletin board that needed decorating and the teacher in me got super excited.
     Finally, after all our preparing, the party could begin. We celebrated the bride-to-be with laughter, conversation and pizza from Mugs. Of course conversations always spill around jokingly, hypothetically all of us becoming sisters. We joked about picking religious names or having them picked for us. For example, apparently I'd make a good Sister Rafaela because I have long, curly hair like an angel. Another suggestion was Sister Heliodora which is polish for sunflower. Both are accurate. But of course, my name Rebecca means so much. The other girls we dubbed with some slightly more serious names like "faith, hope and love." We heard many stories and laughed so much. Blessed Frances Siedliska, their foundress, even made an appearance. Let me tell you how cool that was! Very! We ended the party by singing along to some songs such as "hakuna matata," "my God," "Oh Happy Day," and "So Long, Farewell." Of course, we also listened to one of Sister Gabriela's favorite songs and immediately, I was brought to tears almost immediately as the sisters sang along as a blessing over Sister Gabriela.
     Anyone who knows me, knows I don't do the tears in public thing. So, after we sent Sister "off to bed," I sought out my dear Sister David and told her she had to hug me so I wouldn't be embarrassed crying. She laughed and hugged me. It had been months since I had seen her and even longer since I had cried with her. We cleared up the room and then headed upstairs to the community room to have a chat. We sat down and had a long overdue heart to heart about making decisions and celebrating Senior year. She reassured me that no matter what decision I make, she will always be there to love me! I felt peace and tears of overwhelming happiness. Then after getting figuratively murdered multiple times by the general councilor in some wicked games of Mafia, we headed to bed. The next day was a big day.
     We woke early for breakfast at 8:30 and spent the morning enjoying the hustle and bustle of the wedding. At one point, I found myself in the Chapel praying morning prayer but soon crying again. I admit it, I was a blubbering mess most of the weekend. That's what happens when one is in love with Jesus and He reminds you often. A few of the Polish sisters suddenly started singing the most beautiful composition of Psalm 45 I had ever heard. It was in Polish and yet, it still spoke to my heart. Sister Clare Marie came over to me, and seeing that I was tearing up, patted my cheek and said, "Jesus loves you, how could He not?" I smiled and hugged her then went back to my prayer.
     Before we knew it, it was time for the wedding to take place. Everything seemed perfect for the day. The readings were perfect, the music was perfect, the people were perfect. Of course, the blubbering baby in me came out during the Mass so many times. Like when Sister Gabriela prostrated before the altar as we sang the Litany of the Saints. And when she received her ring. And when the sisters stood to accept her as a new full member of their community. And when Mother Jana accepted her vows. And when she spoke to her parents, thanking them, in Polish, even though they were watching from Poland. And of course, when she so beautifully smiled the entire time. Wow, what a witness to be able to watch a beautiful bride make her eternal vows to her infinite Love. And also to be surrounded by so many other beautiful Brides of Christ. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful.
     We continued to celebrate by a beautiful lunch and then after the party departed, bustling around, staying busily giddy about the wedding as only young (and young at heart) women can. I even bumped into Sister Barbara Jean (after scaring her half to death) and had a little chat with her. Of course, my favorite part of the conversation was when she asked if I had a boyfriend and I laughed. She then told me she was serious and I answered very seriously in return, "Yes. Jesus." I left her by saying, "Goodbye, Mother" as she was the one who dressed as Blessed Frances the night before and she sent me off with a blessing: "Be good, daughter."
     Then, before we knew it, we were on the airplane on the way home. Of course, this was after Sister David was panicking that we would miss our flight and then being delayed an hour. Even though we were delayed, I still had to give Sister (mother) a call to let her know I arrived safe and sound in Philly. I have so many moms..and I love it.
      As my best friends drove me home, I couldn't help be share so many stories with them. And thank God they accept me for who I am, completely in love with Jesus and all. I reflected on all the tears, all the smiles, all the laughter. I thanked God once again for allowing me to witness yet another beautiful Nun Wedding. Of course, I thanked God for asking me to be His eventual bride forever. And honestly, I can't wait. Eventually there will be a blog post titled "My Own Nun Wedding" but all in God's good time. Oh Jesus, how I love You so much. And Sister Gabriela, thank you, not only for letting me witness your final vows, but also for being my friend, my sister AND introducing me to the song "Everyday God" so that I can sob every time I hear it. Kochem cie, Siostra. Dziekuje.