Author of Life

"God alone is the author of life. 

We never know when He will call home another angel,

this I am realizing more and more. 

Never forfeit an opportunity to tell your loved ones how special they are."

     It's been almost a month since my last post. My last post was right around the beginning of school and so you can imagine how busy it has been. With new events and service sites, as well as teaching three new classes, day to day life can be overwhelming at times. And yet, I wouldn't trade this grand adventure for anything else right now. Going to a place I love day to day with students who are forever challenging me in all the good ways and giving me more reasons to smile, is a gift I am thankful for everyday. It is a grueling job some days, but the beauty that comes makes it worth it. That being said, I don't have much time for things that aren't really school related. Although every so often, I'll catch a glimpse of something called free time. That's nice. 

     This weekend was one of those glimpses of free time. Of course, some of my favorite people to hang out with aside from my friends, are the nuns...who are my friends...yeah, you get it. This weekend was a particularly NUNLY weekend. With a new Campus Ministry event with the SSJs on Friday, a day helping out in Stone Harbor at the Nun's Beach Surf Contest and a pleasantly random visit to Camilla with my real sister and my Nunny Sister, it was weekend for the record books. It was the first weekend in a while that was almost completely nunny and for this I was grateful. There were many laughs, stories and pleasant memories made. But amid that, I was given the following to reflect upon:

     As I was standing with some of the Sisters on the beach watching the surf, we got news that one of the Sisters suddenly passed away. While I didn't know her very well, I knew how great the shock was for many of the sisters present at the retreat house that day. As the day went on and we shared story after story in her memory, the conversations swirled around making amends, reconciling with God, self and others and saying I love you at every chance. When I left the beach that evening, I had plenty of thoughts to keep me awake for the two hour drive home. I began to think once again about my dear friend, Sister Sandi, who we lost suddenly back in April. I began to think of all the people I hadn't seen in a while but always said, I'll make plans with them soon. I thought of all the Sisters in Camilla who have moved there in recent months and I haven't been able to bring myself to visit there yet. I knew there were some people I just needed to say I love you too before I regretted it. 

       The next morning I spent with my sister with Mass at IU, a lovely visit with Sister George and a visit to Camilla with Sister Cathy. It was obvious that Sr. Rose Anthony's passing was still very fresh in the hearts of the sisters, especially as I shared beautiful conversation with Sister George. We held back tears together because crying in the Immaculata Caf isn't exactly the best place to cry. But when brunch was over, we held hands walking down the hall and I told her that it was one of the things I missed the most about not being at IU anymore. Whenever we would pass each other or bump into each other on the walkways to the convent or to the chapel, we would hold hands or link arms. I'm a hand-holder, what can I say? She always knew that and always let me hold her hand. This time was different though, because as we said good-bye, I squeezed her hand and reminded her that I loved her dearly, that was was very special to me. 

       When Mary and I got to Camilla with Sister Cathy, we found ourselves on a tour of the newest wings. We were laughing and enjoying every moment, because truly, how often does one get the chance to walk up and down the halls waving to the Sisters, greeting them and giving them love? I found myself looking for my sisters who I hadn't visited and feeling better, no longer afraid. They all seemed just as joyful as before. Of course, I was waiting to visit one special sister, hoping I would walk past her room and see her eyes light up when we waved. I kept looking and looking but I didn't see her. Then, up ahead I heard Sister Cathy talking to one of the Sisters. I watched the "young nun" converse with the older Sister about something completely irrelevant. They were talking about going to a party and wearing blue. There was no party to go to, but the Sister didn't know that. As I watched Sister Cathy enter into her world and speak with her, my heart began to break. This was the sister for whom I was looking. I realized so quickly that she would never again recognize me or know who I was. I had to turn away because my eyes were once again filling with tears, tears I knew wouldn't stop if they started.

        We eventually continued our journey through Camilla and there were still a few Sisters I hadn't seen yet but knew I would need to come back. Seeing Sister upstairs was all I needed to remind myself to go visit - I'll be there this Friday.  The rest of our journey, however, filled my head with thoughts and lists of people I needed to tell I loved them. One of them was with me. I know that there is no telling when the author of life will write the end to the earthly chapter and call home another angel. I know that the time we have here is merely seconds compared to heaven. And I know that the people I have in my life now are so incredibly important even if I only have them for a little time. 

      When we pulled back into the driveway at IU, I turned to Sister Cathy, hugged her and said goodbye. But when I got out of the car, I knew I had to go remind her of her importance in my life. So I ran around and very quickly summed up the last few days and the emotions that came with them: the events of the past few days have reminded me that I never know when someone might be taken from this life. I just want to tell you that you're very special to me, you know. I hugged her and had pools of tears in my eyes. I let them go this time feeling quite alright letting her see them. I didn't mean to make anyone else cry, but sometimes tears are good when they are shared. I needed to tell her how special she was and there are a number more people I need to make sure I tell this week. But there is peace in my heart knowing that we parted with good words of friendship. 

       I never know when someone in my life will be called to Heaven but I think it's time I start ending each day on a positive note. I depart each meeting between friends with a hug and words of love and blessing. I can no longer be affected by negative things and I must live life to the fullest. These are the things I have learned before and have learned again. God alone is the author of life and He is the one who has put this on my heart to share. Never take an opportunity for love for granted. Always say I love you, even if the person might not accept it. Do all things out of love and always be merciful and compassionate. Amen.