Celeb Status

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself;

it's thinking of yourself less."

C.S. Lewis

"A picture is worth a thousand words and YOU have two pictures."

- Princess Diaries

    I was out for the count for my post-Mass nap. As I was laying in bed, my phone started going off. I thought it was my alarm and thought, it couldn't possibly be an hour gone by yet. I pick my phone up off of my dresser and look at it: emails, facebook posts, texts all congratulating me on something. Confused, as anyone would be upon being woken up in a stupor, I began to read the notifications. "Great article! Congrats!" everyone seemed to be saying. I was still confused. Then I got a forwarded email with a link to an article. Suddenly, I realized this article was all about me. 

    Six and a half years ago, I found myself in Sister David's office. Although she was the disciplinarian at the time, I was not in her office because I had racked up too many demerits. Earlier in the week, I had left a letter on her desk mentioning that I maybe was possibly thinking about religious life. She read the letter and within a few class periods stopped me in the hallway to ask me to visit her the next day. Needless to say, I was terrified. Despite the fact that she was my teacher the year before, I was suddenly scared out of my mind. What was she going to tell me? 

     We sat adjacent to each other in her office. I could barely speak and I know I was nauseous because I was so nervous, so she did most of the talking. Out of all the things she said to me, what I will always remember is this: she took my arm and pinched my skin a little bit while saying, "Bec, you and I are the same flesh and blood. Sisters are just as human as you are on the outside. But on the inside, I'm experiencing something you want - God's love." I'm sure I was beaming ear to ear when I left her office - she supported me. 

      Later that night I remember thinking, oh well duh, of course she supports me - she's a nun. I began to think about what all my friends would say, what my family would say. No one entered the convent anymore as far I knew. All the Sisters I knew were (sorry, Sisters), were my grandparents' and parents' ages. There I was, a 15 year old girl, wanting to be a Sister. I couldn't possibly tell anyone because the would most likely tell me it was a dumb decision, not good for me, etc. However, slowly but surely I began to mention the possibility of being a sister to my friends. And when I did, I was met with nothing but support. 

     The idea of being a Sister is never something I've flaunted. I've been honest about it when people ask, but usually I'm not the one who brings it up. Unless, of course, I happen to randomly meet some nuns during my day. Then, I always ask them to keep me in their prayers as discernment in today's day and age isn't easy. But other than this blog, which I started for the sole reason to keep my family members and friends informed of my journey, I don't usually proclaim "Oh hey, I wanna be a nun" to the world. It brings way too much attention to me and away from God. 

     When Sister Kim called me one random day during Spring Break to tell me that she dropped my name to a journalist who writes for the Inquirer, I got nervous. Yet, I truly believe that God sets all things up as His plan for me, so I went with it. The next thing I know, I was on the phone with the journalist planning a date to meet at school. Within the next week, the two of us were sitting in the Gabriele Library at Immaculata and I was sharing my story. My story ... my story. Suddenly someone was interested in my story and there I was telling it. 

     There's a part of me that really debated whether or not I wanted to share my story. For one, it would mean a lot of focus on me and that's not something I do well. But more importantly, it was the concept of being vulnerable. I knew that the Philadelphia Inquirer was a big deal and sharing my story with the journalist meant sharing it with the world. Was I ready to allow myself that vulnerability? It wasn't as if it was an unleashing of a secret (or so I thought...); this was something I so passionately live out in my day to day life. Yet, I hadn't even shared parts of my story with my closest friends or with some of the sisters. But, like I said earlier, God set this up; I had to go with it. 

     The next week they asked me to go "be natural" and have my picture taken. I'm sorry to admit, my pictures aren't exactly "natural." Me being natural is terrifying...okay, but really, my hair is usually in a pony-tail or bun, I'm usually in yoga pants or leggings, and most days I'm too lazy to put makeup on. But for the world, I made myself somewhat presentable. As we walked into the library, I asked the photographer if she wanted a nun in the pictures. When she said yes, I used a not so library tone voice to ask Sister Annette if she wouldn't mind modeling with me. She laughed and agreed right away and to make things interesting, she not only posed with the IHM Community History book, but she also read it outloud to me. I was laughing so hard, it's a wonder my picture wasn't me with my mouth wide open. Regardless, it was an interesting moment in my life and thankfully no one stopped me to ask why I was being photographed in the library. 

     Weeks past and in all the busy-ness of my last semester, I kind of forgot about the article even coming out. That was until my phone started blowing up Wednesday morning, waking me up from my post-Mass nap. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the amount of publicity this article was getting. University communications hopped right on it and not only emailed it to the entire faculty but also posted it on the Facebook page. In addition, my alma mater posted it on their Facebook page. I stopped counting how many times people tagged me in their sharing of the post on Facebook. Even today, when I scroll down my Facebook page, it's a million pictures of my face. Administrators of IU were emailing me, congratulating me, and students who I had never had more than a simple conversation with, stopped me on campus to thank me for my witness. Of course, the nuns could always be counted on for some sass as a few of them stopped me to ask for my autograph. I was given so many hugs, so much outpouring of love and of course, the sassiness from my best friends telling me to take a look at the comments of the article to get a laugh. (SIDENOTE: apparently I'm a really cute nun wanna-be). 

      What fascinated me was a few things. First of all: the length of the article and the beautiful positive reception it was gaining. I had been so nervous about sharing my story and I couldn't help but smile because I knew God was using it as a means to spread the Gospel. Second of all: the amount of people on campus that didn't know about my discernment. I realize that I don't flaunt it or shout it out from the rooftops, but I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve. My favorite comment was from my Sophomore Spanish professor who said, "I never knew but you know what, it makes sense." I couldn't help but laugh and thank him. Students and faculty members I didn't really know were suddenly hugging me and asking me to share even more of my story. I was amazed. By Wednesday night, I was exhausted. 

     It didn't end there, however, because yesterday at work the nunnies were prouder than a mom with a honors student, and even today, I had a few of my peers from high school friend request me so they could extend their congratulations. I've even had a few phone calls. How good this has been for my humility. Truly this has driven me to look at myself in even more a humble light. It's not every day I have nuns, students, professors knocking at the door of heart and expressing their congratulations. This has shown me that one simple word or expression can change the world. It's not about me...it's about the calling to serve God. It's about giving Him all the glory by my expression of service to Him. 

     My celeb status (I hope...) will eventually wear off but I'm sure I'll be surprised in a little while when people ask if I'm that girl from the paper. I mean even the IHM Mother General's mom saw the article and asked Sister Lorraine if she knew me. She was fascinated when she told her she had just seen me at work. Shout out to G-Mama G, you go girl! Of course, one thing I'm really excited about concerning this article is all the nunnies who are now willing to share their stories with me. Hey, I'll take all the Sister Coffee dates I can get in this last week of school. 

     It's been a blessing and truly a mark of humility but also a reminder from God that this is truly my call for greatness as a young person. God is good...all the time. All the time....God is good. Thank you for all your prayers and support. Remember: you, too, can change the world!

May God Bless The Methodists - A VBS Story of Grace

"Jesus, I give You my heart and my soul.

I know that without God, I'd never be whole. 

Savior, You open all the right doors,

and I thank You and praise You, from earth's humble shores.

Take me, I'm Yours."

- For Those Tears I Died, Marsha J. Stevens

     The first thing people ask when I tell them I just spent a week helping out at Vacation Bible School (which will from here on out be referred to as VBS) is where. While they are usually expecting me to say my Parish, I can only answer: The Methodist Church across the street from my house. You should see the shocked faces. Me? A devout Catholic helping out the Methodists? Who woulda thought? However, those shocked faces were nothing compared to the faces I received the first year I helped with VBS and told the group I was Catholic. I might have given the one lady a heart attack. No, but in all seriousness, it was a shock all around. And yet, I was confused. Just because we were different denominations of Christianity, I didn't see any reason we couldn't easily work together. By the grace of God, I casually mentioned this my first year and within minutes we were faith sharing. By the end of the week, you never would have known there was any difference between us.

     I loved VBS so much my first year, that I went back again to help for a second year. Once again, I was with my first and second graders but we had new teachers. It was that year that I was so blessed to work with Miss Carol and Miss Christine. I've realized that as close-knit as my Parish family is, this church community is even closer. Of course, I am always an odd ball out because I don't attend services there, and so I can easily be pointed out. While I've always been able to stick out in every situation, this one was so different, unique and grace-filled. Miss Carol and I got to bond over tons of things that special week, like dancing to the VBS music videos to sharing our bibles. Of course, I HAD to share my bible with her because I have more books in mine than she does. True story!! However, just like my bible, hers was just as bookmarked, underlined and filled with her favorite verses. It was such a blessed second VBS with that church community!

      Of course, the third time for anything is always the charm and thus, this year at VBS was the most blessed, I believe. Unfortunately, Miss Carol and I didn't get the chance to help the first and second graders together, but she was still there. And let me tell you how much Miss Carol helped me out this past week. On the first day she sought me out just to give me my VBS staff shirt. She's beautiful! In the middle of the week, after all the little children had gone home, we were casually chatting away about God's goodness and suddenly she told me that sometimes, what I post on Facebook, is exactly what she needed to read. Before I knew it, both of us had gentle tears in our eyes. Of course, I went home that night and immediately started writing her a three-page letter on how she has changed my life. 

      You see, Miss Carol accepted me with loving arms and right away put our slight faith differences aside. She agreed with my former statement...why should those slight differences interfere with God's goodness and God's plan. She not only did that for me, but she also allowed me to open my own eyes. Often, I don't think twice about what I post on Facebook or on this blog or on Twitter because it's from my heart and that's all that matters. I never thought it could affect someone else in a positive way or bring them closer to God. But she opened my eyes to this gift which I possess. It's pretty neat I guess. Miss Carol accepted me as me and loved me just as so. 

      So Thursday night, I handed her the letter and left the building. Friday night, as soon as I walked in (that was the day I really needed a hug), she came bustling over and said, "Here's your hug and now let's go talk about your letter." Well, since I really needed the hug and when I'm in that type of mood, I'm like a bubble that once touched I just burst, I held on trying to cover up the tears that were kind of slipping out. So, as I re-gathered my senses, we went up the stairs to the sanctuary where Miss Carol shared her favorite hymn with me; one that always makes her cry. And let me tell you that while I never heard it, or even thought about reading the music, I simply read the words of the hymn. I couldn't help the tears...ok I was literally sobbing reading the beautiful words of this hymn. I posted the third verse above because it is just so fitting. As I was sobbing, the little kids were filing into my pew and Miss Carol had to go solve a major dilemma. Just as I finished sobbing, Miss Carol came back to tell me that she believes I have the heart of an old lady, a wise old, church-going lady, who she can talk to as an equal, not as a mentor to a child. She admitted that it's funny because to her, I am a child, I am only 20 years old (which I think is old but...to each her own) and yet, she doesn't see that in me. She sees someone far beyond her years. 

       Miss Carol not only was an instrument of God when I needed her, but she remains still that gift from God in my life. I know she is praying for me every day and I hope she knows I'm praying for her, too. Of course, I know I can count on her storming Heaven for my service trip in two days. Miss Carol is such a beautiful woman of God, so full of gentleness, love and joy in the Lord!!! I am so blessed by Miss Carol in my life; she is such an inspiration for me. May God bless Miss Carol and may God bless the Methodists; I sure do love them!!!