Hanging Out With Jesus, My BFF

"True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend."

- Faye Hall

     Last week, I was blessed enough to spend five days with some amazing girls from IU, our Campus Minister, our Chaplain and about 125 students and CMs from various other colleges all over the USA. I went into the week already overwhelmed by the fact that this was one of three weeks of Summer I had left. Part of me wanted to be home with my little sisters doing summery type things like going to the beach and getting tan, but I knew, just as I always say, I was exactly where God needed me to be at that very moment in time. And so, I unpacked knowing that this was where God needed me but unsure as to why. 

     We eventually all piled into the auditorium at Marymount University in Arlington, VA for our opening session. I sat in slightly bitter about not being home with my Sisters or soaking up the sun. I suddenly became a shy little Becca when it came to making new friends and was not about talking to new people. All I wanted at that moment was to get in a bed and sleep. But we had a long night ahead of us and lots of new friends to make. I got comfortable in my auditorium seating and pulled out my notebook, you know, if I just casually wanted to make note of something. Oh who was I kidding? I always have been and always will be the perpetual student who loves learning. I had more notes on my paper than I think our speaker had on hers. Trust me, I was bursting with energy from the moment she started. Instantly my attitude changed. Why? Well, because Sister Grace Dominic was giving a talk on Connection with Christ. Yep. Instantly, my who attitude about the whole week changed. 

     Sister Grace Dominic immediately caught my attention with her stories of little four-year old nephews. It was quite amusing, especially after having attended Mass that morning with my God-daughter to hear her sing the entire Mass "YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH." Yeah...she definitely is a product of my God-mothering already. I love little kids in Mass because they always give beautiful insight to what our celebration really is. Sister had me sold. She is, by far, one of the most precious Sisters I have ever met. She has a beautifully sweet speaking voice, a lovely charism and a precious personality. I know that may seem like nothing new to my dear friends, but what is new is that she was part of a community I never really got to know: The Sisters of Life. Miss Greene would be so proud. Needless to say, I held onto her every word.

     That night I went to bed really reflecting on the things Sister had told us. And as I reflected on the many things that spoke to my heart, I had one idea in particular really singing to my soul: a best friendship with Jesus. I love metaphors, as you may or may not know, and anything that really applies to my life sparks my attention. This idea of best friendship immediately stuck to me like glue. And here's why:

     When Sister began speaking of best friendship, I thought of my little sister, Mary and her best friend, Julia. Having gone to all of grade school together and then splitting up for high school, they have remained best friends through and through. They weren't best friends at first, but as they got older and wiser, they immediately found a kinship between the two of them. They became almost inseparable. Now, after knowing each other for almost 12 years, they are even closer. As the oldest, I have become the taxi driver and big sister for both. Almost every night I am home during the summer (and any other time), I am driving one of them to the other's house. Every other night one is sleeping on the other's floor, although my Sister has her own bed now at Julia's house. They go on vacation with each other's family, they do almost everything together, they have a system down. They are so good at being best friend's it;s actually scary sometimes. Okay. One may be thinking: don't they get sick of each other? I mean, I get sick of them sometimes. And they do. They have one day a week where they don't see each other. They get mad at each other, they call each other out own their emotions, they give each other grief. I mean, isn't that what it should be?

      I have to laugh when I think about my sister's best friend and my best friend, Mary Kate. I think back to high school and yes, we were inseparable. We did everything together, and if we didn't we always consulted the other first. But now that we are in college, we have learned that best friends doesn't mean doing everything together, but that we can move on to separate things and still be the best of friends. Often, I find myself visiting her family, calling her mom, at the most random and perhaps inopportune times. I can call her up and tell her I am outside in my car waiting for her and she'll come out with me. I can walk through her front door without having to knock. I can not talk to her for days and weeks and yet, I know she's always there for me. Now that we are older, we have essentially taken on the persona of two older ladies who sip whatever it is we feel like sipping on the front porch thinking about life. We are, essentially an older version of Mary and Julia. Look out girls.

     As I was thinking about our best friends and laughing to myself at all our funny fine moments, I began to adapt it to my relationship with Jesus, which, praise God, is a best friendship. However, for many this is not true. Think about your best friend. Who is it? How do they perform BFF duties? Where would you be without them?! For me, a best friendship with Jesus is literally spending every moment possible I can with Him, whether it's at His house for a meal (the Mass), His house for family time (adoration and prayer), walking in the park on a date (literally walking in the park) or doing service opportunities with Him. Just like I consult my best friend about almost everything in life, I always pray about it with Jesus first. He always gets first consultation. And just like all best friends, we are comfortable with each other enough to tell each other when we are frustrated. Often Jesus tells me that I need some confession time and there are times when I let Jesus have it with my flustered words. Like seriously Jesus, why did You have to let this happen?! You are such a drama queen. Just like real best friends, we hang out all the time. 

     Then I began to think about the one time Julia had to have severe back surgery. She was scared, frightened and cried a good amount. All of us at church were praying for her, but still she experienced very human emotions when it comes to having surgery, especially for a young teen. After surgery, she couldn't do a lot of things for a very long time. She couldn't run or do anything really active. She had to sit in a certain position and do all kinds of things that made her stand out in the crowd. She was immediately different and could have easily been ridiculed for being so. However, like a real true best friend, Mary stood by her every moment. She visited her in the hospital, helped her adjust to life with a new back and even stood up for her many times. This meant that all the things Julia couldn't do, Mary didn't do. She literally suffered through it right next to Julia. She was there through all the hardships which proved that she wasn't Julia's best friend because it just happened to be convenient for her. Nope. She was a true BFF through and through.

      So many times we proclaim ourselves best friends with Jesus. It's all great while He's performing miracles and gaining followers, because hey, more friends for us. We'll go out to eat with Him while He's multiplying loaves and fishes, we'll take a ride in His boat, we'll give up all our time for Him because we're going on an adventure. Yeah, sure no problem. Being best friends with Jesus is easy. Until He gets to the garden and we can't stay up with Him because well, I'm too tired, Jesus. Being best friends with Jesus is easy until He gets condemned and scourged at the pillar and we're embarrassed that He might be a criminal and we don't want to get arrested for association. Being friends with Jesus is easy until He has to walk the way of Calvary and we can't because, well, we might get blisters or something. And being best friends with Jesus is easy until He is hanging on the cross. No, we can't be there for that. Definitely not, no, because well, that's just too painful to watch.

     So many times we say we are best friends with Jesus and yet, we deny Him at the times when our best friend needs us the most. We aren't there for Him when things get rough. We aren't there when things are painful. Why? Because it's not convenient for us. But remember Mary and Julia. They have literally done everything together, including the painful suffering of Julia's back surgery. They have literally been there for each other through everything. Imagine if suddenly Jesus decided He didn't want to be our best friend anymore? Because it just didn't seem convenient enough? We'd sure be stuck in a rut then, now wouldn't we? But no, Jesus continues to be there for us through and through. As for us, we need to step it up a bit. If we really want to be best friends with Jesus, we need to suffer with Him through the cross. If we want to be best friends with Jesus, we need to hang out with Him all the time...and that means hanging with Him on the cross. You wouldn't want your best friend to suffer alone, now would you?

My Best Friend, Katie D

"My sweetest joy is to be in the presence of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament.

I beg that when I am obliged to withdraw in body, I may leave my heart before the Holy Sacrament.

How I would miss our Lord if He were to be away from me by His presence in the Blessed Sacrament."

- Saint Katharine Drexel

      Just a few days ago, I had the realization that if we weren't blessed with a priest to say Mass for retreat, I would have the crisis of a Mass-less Sunday. Now, of course, I would try everything to get to Mass somewhere, but the problem is: this girl has no wheels. I have a mandatory meeting for my upcoming Peruvian adventure...one that I am not allowed to be late for or leave early from. This meant, I either had to find someone with wheels who wouldn't mind going to a "last chance Mass" at West Chester or I was out of luck. When I was telling one of the sisters, I actually just started crying. My tears were not sobs or forced tears. In fact, I didn't even know I was crying, until a tear dripped onto my shirt. I didn't know what to do; my heart was literally breaking at the knowledge that I could quite possibly not be able to be united with the love of my life in the Most Blessed Sacrament. So...what did I do? Well, I called on my Facebook prayer group and asked for their prayers for my special intention. BUT, I also called my best friend, and told her about my predicament knowing that she would understand exactly how I felt. Of course, she took care of it. 

      I carried the crisis (and that's what it really was...a crisis) on my heart all day. Needless to say, I fell into my very quiet, problem-solving self. All day I was constantly thinking about how I (and my fellow retreatants) could get to Mass. Eventually, I wound up with a few "worse case scenarios" but I knew they still weren't the answer to my prayers. Even after talking to someone about, I was still in a predicament-plagued, heavy-hearted mood. I definitely moozied on through my day. However, there were a few spots of sunshine in my day when I randomly saw Sister Cathy. Seeing her more times than I normally would on a Monday gave me some hope that I would get the answer to my prayers soon. I felt that her over joyous smile was Heaven's hope to my heart. 

      Soon, the time came for me to head to the Motherhouse for work and still, I had no answer. I prayed as I walked across the street, feeling the heaviness in my heart. It wasn't a heaviness of guilt that I wouldn't get to Mass, but rather a deeper pain. It's a pain almost like that of an aged couple where one is suffering from Alzheimer's and cannot remember his wife so much so that he cannot live with her. The wife desires so much to be able to at least hold his hand or kiss him again, but he refuses to be touched. The wife, while knowing she can visit her beloved cannot kiss his lips and feel the physical uniting with her husband. I would be able to visit my Beloved in the chapel, but I would not be able to taste His Goodness on my lips or unite my soul to Him in the Eucharist. My heart simply broke and gloom filled the cracks. 

      The Motherhouse was very quiet for a typical Monday night, but I guess the oh so attractive scaffolding has been scaring away visitors...well, at least to the front door. I easily fell in the quiet pace of reading the most horrendous book for class and let God take care of the rest. I happened to look up from my book at the same time the Mother General was walking into Chapel. I smiled, not thinking she saw me before she opened the door, but then she pressed her face to the stained glass door, smiled and wrapped her arm around the door the wave. Once again, she became a glimmer of hope for me. After supper, she came through the "Portress Fortress" just to "catch up" on my life and hear the good news about Peru (we just ordered our plane tickets yesterday...IT'S ON!) and everything else. She playfully mocked my inked hand (where I had written down ALL my play lines...) and my bright yellow nail polish. Of course, I think she was just jealous about the nail polish. Regardless, the few minutes I had conversing with her was actually exactly what I needed. It was just a few minutes and I began to feel hopeful. However, it wasn't until Sister San came to visit me that I knew I was going to get an answer to my prayers. 

      Imagine the tiniest sister you have ever seen with the most beautiful white hair and most gentle eyes. She came almost dancing off the elevator. Now, you must understand that sister and I share a very special bond. We have a HUGE devotion to St. Katharine Drexel and she knew the closest SBS sister, Sister Thomasita, I ever had. I found out not too long ago, that Sister Thomasita would frequent the IHM Motherhouse just to visit her. She walked the same hallways I do now. And how perfect that our paths crossed once again. Last night, when Sister San came dancing into the "Portress Fortress," she handed me a tiny, paisley jewelry box. I asked her if I should open it and she said, "Yes! Of course!" So, I gently opened the box and inside was a medallion with Saint Katharine Drexel on the front. My mouth curved into a smile and my heart felt happy. But that wasn't the end. She asked me if I had any idea of who had given her the medallion. I said no. She then told me so gently that it was my dear Sister Thomasita. Instant tears. I leaped out of my chair, wrapped my arms around her and essentially wept uncontrollable tears into her veil. A few of the other sisters walked in and out and didn't know I was crying until I sat back down behind the desk. They didn't understand, but Sister San knew exactly why it hit me so close to the heart. Sister Thomasita is the reason I have a vocation to the church. She prayed for my vocation before I was ever born. It's a long, beautiful story and one day I might tell you, but right now, all you need to know is that Katharine Drexel used Sister San to give me the reassurance I needed to know that she was taking care of my prayers. I think after Sister San left, I cried a little more and simply ran my fingers over and over the medal, thanking God. 

       When I got back to my room after making a stop at play practice, I hopped on the computer to do some homework. Of course, like every typical person of my generation, I checked Facebook first even though everything goes straight to my phone anyway. As I was scrolling through my notifications, a little message box popped up at the bottom of my screen from Sister Cathy. Her message, "We got a priest!" I through my hands up in the air and thanked God out loud. Katharine, my girl, Katie D, my best friend, my number one God girl, did it again. She pulled through and answered my prayers while at the same time reminding me that I am loved and that right now, I am exactly where I am meant to be.

      On Sunday, my Junior class celebrated Ring Day, another IU tradition, together. A dear heart friend of mine, Kristie, an alum of IU, presented me with my ring and I was so grateful. However, she went above and beyond and got me flowers also: White lilies (for St. Joseph), White Roses (for Mary) and Yellow Sunflowers (for the Sun in my life...Jesus). Unfortunately, I didn't have a vase in my room so I asked Sister Cathy if I could share the happiness with Marian Chapel, my favorite place on Campus. She said yes and today, as I placed the vase of flowers right in front of the Tabernacle, I had this strange feeling that Katie D was standing there right next to me and all I wanted to do was hug her. I know she is always with me; she is always reminding me. And I think, as Sister Ruth Catherine, SBS, once told me, she is calling me onto something higher, to walk in her footsteps in a whole new and unique way. But I'll wait for a confirmation from her, before I let you know! One thing I am certain about is that as soon as I get to Heaven, that girl and I are having coffee forever and sharing our lives with each other, even though she'll already know everything about me! She's my best friend, and best friends just know!

God Alone Suffices - Teresa of Avila

"Let nothing disturb thee, 

Let nothing frighten you,

All things will pass.

God, alone, suffices."

- St. Teresa of Avila

    Isn't she beautiful? This is one of my most favorite pictures of Teresa, as she looks so young. I'd like to say that in this rendition, she's maybe in her early twenties. Like me. If someone ever asked me who is your favorite saint, hands down, I would answer: Teresa of Avila. She's a strong woman of God, unafraid to reform for His glory and she was a Carmelite (don't tell the other sisters, but they are my favorite!). 

     When I was younger, a priest always used to give his homilies on the lives of the saints. Forget about what the Gospel or the readings were, no matter what day it was, there was a story of a saint. Fascinated by this, I asked him why he only ever gave homilies on the saints. He answered, "When I was little, my father told me to study the saints. They became my friends. So, when I give homilies about them, it's like talking about my closest friends." I fell in love with that and soon after, I began to find my friends. Katherine Drexel was one of the first. Shortly after her, came Therese. But my best friend, I found in Teresa of Avila. I literally fell in love with these strong women of faith. They were the undercover feminists of their time, and I admire them for it! But Teresa, she's something else. She was the most outspoken woman of the church, I found. She was a mystic but also, she was a leader, fearless in her faith. She even said to God, "It's no wonder you have so few friends, if this is how you treat them." She considered Jesus her closest friend and lover, and I learned how to be a friend of Jesus through her. She was real with God, she was bold with God, and He loved her for it. She had spunk. Spunk that I wanted. And so, she easily became my friend; my best Heavenly friend.

     I always felt when I was younger, that I wanted a man to fall in love with me for my spunk, for my outgoing nature, and for my loud mouth. I also wanted him to respect me as a proud woman, because I am a proud woman. I also wanted him to fall in love with my sense of adventure and humor. The truth is, as I got to know Teresa more, I realized that we shared a lot of this in common. Then I realized, as I began to see God as lover and friend, that He fell in love with Teresa for all those reasons. That's when He told me how much He loved me. He asked me to marry Him. I got my childhood wish, that a man would fall in love with me because I'm out going, spunky, loud and proud. He fell in love with me for the same reasons He fell in love with Teresa. And that's why, I guess, we get along so well!!

     This morning, I got up and I boldly said to God, "I hate my 8 am classes. I can't make morning Mass with the sisters and it's really taking a toll on my Spiritual Life. I wish I could just...ugh... I hate 8 ams!" Of course, I laughed, because most people aren't that bold with God. But as our relationship goes, God was just as bold in His answer. He said, "Bec, my dear, be late." Since God knows me so well, He knows how much I hate being late. Being on time is late for me. And yet, He had the audacity to tell me to be late. Really? And so what did I do? I stayed for Mass. And it was so worth it. Not only did I get to pray with my sisters, but I got to celebrate my best friend's feast day with them! And it's a day I consider my own feast day because of my deep devotion to her. The readings were perfect! And I said to God that if Sister Regina plays my favorite composition of the Alleluia, I will know how much I am loved. Did she? Of course! 

      I know that today is a great day! The weather is beautiful, I was only two minutes late to class, it's Teresa's feast day,I have no homework due today, I get to paint tonight, and I've been getting to see so many of my favorite sisters. Yes, I've even run across campus a few times just for a great big hug from Sister George! Oh and I also got to talk to my High School principal this morning! Life is just great and I am truly feeling the love of God today! In my prayer today, I can't help but thank my best friend, Teresa, for knowing how to celebrate a feast day! When I look at her face, I see so much young wisdom, bold reformation, and true friendship with God. When I look at her, I see my own reflection. How great it is to know we are loved by God and that He alone is all we need!! Truth!!

Also, shout out to my Sister, Sister Teresa Mary on her blessed feast day!!