Be Saints

"I am the first and the last;

I am the Lord who died that you might live. 

I am the bridegroom, this is my wedding song. 

You are my bride, come to the marriage feast."

- Take and Eat, Michael Joncas

     One of my most favorite things about traveling is getting to visit and worship in different Catholic churches. What I love so much about this is knowing that I can go to any Catholic church, be welcomed like family, and the Mass will be familiar to me. I also love listening to the music they sing, the announcements they read (how rich their weekly spiritual life is!) and of course, a different perspective on the readings in the Homily. It is always familiar, even if it's in a different language, and church, specifically Mass, always make me feel at home. 

    This past weekend, I was blessed to the spend time with my bridesmaids in Hershey, PA. We went camping, rode roller coasters and ate a lot of chocolate. As much as I hate being the center of attention, it was beautiful to walk past so many people and have them wish me well wishes for my upcoming marriage. Recently, I've been so busy at school in my ministry job, that I haven't had much time to really focus on the fact that I am, indeed, getting married, in quite a few days. Every so often, in the middle of my chaos, a little alarm goes off in my brain that says, "Reminder. Reminder. You are getting married." And then there's the sub-sequential thoughts of, "I need to order flowers. I need to pay the dj. I need to call our priest. Do we have a place to live yet?" Yikes. Yet this weekend, I had time to enjoy the friendship and sisterhood of my bridesmaids and also focus on the fact that, yes, I am getting married. Judging from the movies, you'd never think that a Bachelorette weekend would be like a retreat. But I'm grateful to my girls for giving me that opportunity. 

   I loved that my girls knew me well enough to make celebrating Mass together a part of the weekend, making the weekend absolutely complete. As I stated above, I love visiting various different churches on my travels. Despite having gone to Hershey so many times, I can't remember ever going to Mass at St. Joan of Arc Parish. When we arrived a few minutes before Mass, I knelt to talk to Jesus. In this conversation, I was drawn to the stained glass windows on the right side of church. Contemporary images of spiritual life, education and so on. I am so used to seeing saints in the stained glass, that these contemporary images really made my Theology heart sing. But when I turned to the left side of the church out of curiosity, I was even more intrigued. I had never seen Catholicism linked so beautifully with Scripture and the present day. My inner Theology student/nerd burst. Each contemporary image on the right was paired with an image of Christ on the left; tied together with only one or two words. 

   Now while I feel I could write a paper on all the windows, I will only share the first two windows with you. You'll have to go see the others for yourself. On the left side was the Holy Family; Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. It simply read, "Spiritual Life." On the right side was a young married couple, with a newborn baby at the baptismal font and a priest baptizing their new baby. Again, below the image, it read, "Spiritual Life." I could only be reminded of what so many sisters have told me during this time of engagement, "We need Holy Families, too." How beautiful was Christ's confirmation to me in my heart through these images! I could not help but think of textbooks and textbooks worth of Theology behind the sacrament of marriage. Because while we will have a wedding day, the sacrament is the most important part of the day. And it's mostly because we get to begin our marriage, which will last a lifetime, with the Eucharist, surrounded by the physical Body of Christ in our family members. 

    Father's homily spoke about the first reading, in which Isaiah says, "my ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts." He told us how he fought his vocation to the priesthood, wanting something completely different. I had to laugh as how much I felt connected to this, but in the opposite way. How I fought married life because I felt it wasn't good enough. And yet, I have learned so well these past few years how the vocation to marriage life is just as good and holy as religious life. I simply needed to find my holy, faithful, husband to be. 

   The icing on the cake, or should I say, the icing on the Hershey's bar, was the Communion hymn. I loved the traditional hymns that the congregation sung with the cantor, but my favorite was at Communion. I guess as a person with high empathy and as an auditory learner, I tend to connect with music, stories and people more quickly than the average human. Every so often, when singing in the congregation during Mass, I get to a certain line and suddenly, I'm overwhelmed with emotion. This happened on Sunday with the above quoted hymn. It was Jesus' invitation to me (and Joe), to come to His wedding feast. Yet another confirmation that this is truth. That in 75 days, we will join together in Matrimony at the wedding feast. 

    There's a part two to my day, however. I thought I was finished being blessed during the day but Joe called me on the way home and asked if I might make it home in time to go to Mass with him and his family. I told him I already went to Mass, but I did want to see him. So what better way to spend time together than during Mass (can you tell I love the Eucharist soooooooo much?)? I made it just in time for 5PM Mass at his parish. Again, hearing another perspective on the readings is always good for my heart. This time, the Deacon gave the homily. He correlated a story of what he encourages newly weds to be for each other with the Gospel. Deacon said, "I always encourage young newly weds to remember to be one thing for each other: saints." He reminded the whole congregation of this but I felt that he was speaking right to us. He continued to express that marriage is not just between two people, but a 100% dedication by three people: husband, wife and Christ. The wedding feast was coming back to me for the second day. Just when I thought my blessings were already too numerous for the day, this homily was just another added blessing. Yes, so many church experiences of marriage. 

      God's ways are not our ways and God's thoughts are not our thoughts. Yet somehow, God always manages to speak to our hearts in a way we can understand. I cannot wait to be Joe's wife, to begin a holy family with him, and I wait in the hopeful patience that God will continue to prepare our hearts to be saints. 

My Best Friend, Katie D

"My sweetest joy is to be in the presence of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament.

I beg that when I am obliged to withdraw in body, I may leave my heart before the Holy Sacrament.

How I would miss our Lord if He were to be away from me by His presence in the Blessed Sacrament."

- Saint Katharine Drexel

      Just a few days ago, I had the realization that if we weren't blessed with a priest to say Mass for retreat, I would have the crisis of a Mass-less Sunday. Now, of course, I would try everything to get to Mass somewhere, but the problem is: this girl has no wheels. I have a mandatory meeting for my upcoming Peruvian adventure...one that I am not allowed to be late for or leave early from. This meant, I either had to find someone with wheels who wouldn't mind going to a "last chance Mass" at West Chester or I was out of luck. When I was telling one of the sisters, I actually just started crying. My tears were not sobs or forced tears. In fact, I didn't even know I was crying, until a tear dripped onto my shirt. I didn't know what to do; my heart was literally breaking at the knowledge that I could quite possibly not be able to be united with the love of my life in the Most Blessed Sacrament. So...what did I do? Well, I called on my Facebook prayer group and asked for their prayers for my special intention. BUT, I also called my best friend, and told her about my predicament knowing that she would understand exactly how I felt. Of course, she took care of it. 

      I carried the crisis (and that's what it really was...a crisis) on my heart all day. Needless to say, I fell into my very quiet, problem-solving self. All day I was constantly thinking about how I (and my fellow retreatants) could get to Mass. Eventually, I wound up with a few "worse case scenarios" but I knew they still weren't the answer to my prayers. Even after talking to someone about, I was still in a predicament-plagued, heavy-hearted mood. I definitely moozied on through my day. However, there were a few spots of sunshine in my day when I randomly saw Sister Cathy. Seeing her more times than I normally would on a Monday gave me some hope that I would get the answer to my prayers soon. I felt that her over joyous smile was Heaven's hope to my heart. 

      Soon, the time came for me to head to the Motherhouse for work and still, I had no answer. I prayed as I walked across the street, feeling the heaviness in my heart. It wasn't a heaviness of guilt that I wouldn't get to Mass, but rather a deeper pain. It's a pain almost like that of an aged couple where one is suffering from Alzheimer's and cannot remember his wife so much so that he cannot live with her. The wife desires so much to be able to at least hold his hand or kiss him again, but he refuses to be touched. The wife, while knowing she can visit her beloved cannot kiss his lips and feel the physical uniting with her husband. I would be able to visit my Beloved in the chapel, but I would not be able to taste His Goodness on my lips or unite my soul to Him in the Eucharist. My heart simply broke and gloom filled the cracks. 

      The Motherhouse was very quiet for a typical Monday night, but I guess the oh so attractive scaffolding has been scaring away visitors...well, at least to the front door. I easily fell in the quiet pace of reading the most horrendous book for class and let God take care of the rest. I happened to look up from my book at the same time the Mother General was walking into Chapel. I smiled, not thinking she saw me before she opened the door, but then she pressed her face to the stained glass door, smiled and wrapped her arm around the door the wave. Once again, she became a glimmer of hope for me. After supper, she came through the "Portress Fortress" just to "catch up" on my life and hear the good news about Peru (we just ordered our plane tickets yesterday...IT'S ON!) and everything else. She playfully mocked my inked hand (where I had written down ALL my play lines...) and my bright yellow nail polish. Of course, I think she was just jealous about the nail polish. Regardless, the few minutes I had conversing with her was actually exactly what I needed. It was just a few minutes and I began to feel hopeful. However, it wasn't until Sister San came to visit me that I knew I was going to get an answer to my prayers. 

      Imagine the tiniest sister you have ever seen with the most beautiful white hair and most gentle eyes. She came almost dancing off the elevator. Now, you must understand that sister and I share a very special bond. We have a HUGE devotion to St. Katharine Drexel and she knew the closest SBS sister, Sister Thomasita, I ever had. I found out not too long ago, that Sister Thomasita would frequent the IHM Motherhouse just to visit her. She walked the same hallways I do now. And how perfect that our paths crossed once again. Last night, when Sister San came dancing into the "Portress Fortress," she handed me a tiny, paisley jewelry box. I asked her if I should open it and she said, "Yes! Of course!" So, I gently opened the box and inside was a medallion with Saint Katharine Drexel on the front. My mouth curved into a smile and my heart felt happy. But that wasn't the end. She asked me if I had any idea of who had given her the medallion. I said no. She then told me so gently that it was my dear Sister Thomasita. Instant tears. I leaped out of my chair, wrapped my arms around her and essentially wept uncontrollable tears into her veil. A few of the other sisters walked in and out and didn't know I was crying until I sat back down behind the desk. They didn't understand, but Sister San knew exactly why it hit me so close to the heart. Sister Thomasita is the reason I have a vocation to the church. She prayed for my vocation before I was ever born. It's a long, beautiful story and one day I might tell you, but right now, all you need to know is that Katharine Drexel used Sister San to give me the reassurance I needed to know that she was taking care of my prayers. I think after Sister San left, I cried a little more and simply ran my fingers over and over the medal, thanking God. 

       When I got back to my room after making a stop at play practice, I hopped on the computer to do some homework. Of course, like every typical person of my generation, I checked Facebook first even though everything goes straight to my phone anyway. As I was scrolling through my notifications, a little message box popped up at the bottom of my screen from Sister Cathy. Her message, "We got a priest!" I through my hands up in the air and thanked God out loud. Katharine, my girl, Katie D, my best friend, my number one God girl, did it again. She pulled through and answered my prayers while at the same time reminding me that I am loved and that right now, I am exactly where I am meant to be.

      On Sunday, my Junior class celebrated Ring Day, another IU tradition, together. A dear heart friend of mine, Kristie, an alum of IU, presented me with my ring and I was so grateful. However, she went above and beyond and got me flowers also: White lilies (for St. Joseph), White Roses (for Mary) and Yellow Sunflowers (for the Sun in my life...Jesus). Unfortunately, I didn't have a vase in my room so I asked Sister Cathy if I could share the happiness with Marian Chapel, my favorite place on Campus. She said yes and today, as I placed the vase of flowers right in front of the Tabernacle, I had this strange feeling that Katie D was standing there right next to me and all I wanted to do was hug her. I know she is always with me; she is always reminding me. And I think, as Sister Ruth Catherine, SBS, once told me, she is calling me onto something higher, to walk in her footsteps in a whole new and unique way. But I'll wait for a confirmation from her, before I let you know! One thing I am certain about is that as soon as I get to Heaven, that girl and I are having coffee forever and sharing our lives with each other, even though she'll already know everything about me! She's my best friend, and best friends just know!

Working With The Girls

"If you give a woman the right pair of shoes she can change the world."
- Millie Gaghan

So how's it been so far is the million dollar question. I've had text messages from friends, Facebook messages and posts and phone calls asking me how the big easy is! So let me tell you how it's been!
I now know what it's like to be hungry, homeless and cold! Home is wherever the people we love are and where we feel loved. And while NOLA has been such a home to me and I truly feel like I belong here, people are missing from my presence and this city! I am homeless from my family and friends!
I am hungry! Not a physical hunger, no my belly is full of gumbo and jambalaya and red beans and rice! Instead I am hungry to serve and love! Even though I am working so hard all day, it isn't enough for me! I need more! Like one of the sight supervisors said, service and giving love is the best kind of drug out there!
I am cold! I know at home, IU has has some snow and there is a cold front! However if I was at home, I'd be wearin a coat! Here it is about fifty degrees everyday! That would be fine except I didn't many warm clothes! I know what it is like to wear all the clothes in my possession just to stay warm! Last night to bed I wore both pairs of sweat pants , both pairs of shorts, both long sleeve shirts and both sweatshirts!! I slept with the hoods up and curled in a ball under one blanket with my teddy bear!! Needless to say I was a little chilly!!
However being hungry, homeless and cold is not my daily life! I have felt solidarity with these people for the past few days but I have not always had that life and most likely will not have that life for an extensive time in my future! However it really hit the heart when I realized that not only was Katharine Drexel here in this city but also Mother Teresa and Frances Cabrini!! These are seriously three of my favorite girls!! And even though they aren't here now I still am working and walking with them!!
When I checked Facebook the other morning to post some pictures, I saw the above quotation as Millie's status! Right away I had to comment: work boots! I would wear work boots!! I couldn't help but imagine Mama K or Mama Teresa or Cabrini wearing work boots under their habits!! Wouldn't that be a sight to see?! And what if they wore work pants under their skirts and bandanas over their veils? I decided that would be me...I'd work the boots with the skirt...and when my work boots get too dirty to wear inside I will just were socks to chapel like I did this morning!!
When I am down here I can't help but think of my girls, my sisters the saints working in the poor schools and building houses!! If they were here during this time they'd be nailing down floors and mudding walls after school on the week days!!! Yeah....me too!!!

God Alone Suffices - Teresa of Avila

"Let nothing disturb thee, 

Let nothing frighten you,

All things will pass.

God, alone, suffices."

- St. Teresa of Avila

    Isn't she beautiful? This is one of my most favorite pictures of Teresa, as she looks so young. I'd like to say that in this rendition, she's maybe in her early twenties. Like me. If someone ever asked me who is your favorite saint, hands down, I would answer: Teresa of Avila. She's a strong woman of God, unafraid to reform for His glory and she was a Carmelite (don't tell the other sisters, but they are my favorite!). 

     When I was younger, a priest always used to give his homilies on the lives of the saints. Forget about what the Gospel or the readings were, no matter what day it was, there was a story of a saint. Fascinated by this, I asked him why he only ever gave homilies on the saints. He answered, "When I was little, my father told me to study the saints. They became my friends. So, when I give homilies about them, it's like talking about my closest friends." I fell in love with that and soon after, I began to find my friends. Katherine Drexel was one of the first. Shortly after her, came Therese. But my best friend, I found in Teresa of Avila. I literally fell in love with these strong women of faith. They were the undercover feminists of their time, and I admire them for it! But Teresa, she's something else. She was the most outspoken woman of the church, I found. She was a mystic but also, she was a leader, fearless in her faith. She even said to God, "It's no wonder you have so few friends, if this is how you treat them." She considered Jesus her closest friend and lover, and I learned how to be a friend of Jesus through her. She was real with God, she was bold with God, and He loved her for it. She had spunk. Spunk that I wanted. And so, she easily became my friend; my best Heavenly friend.

     I always felt when I was younger, that I wanted a man to fall in love with me for my spunk, for my outgoing nature, and for my loud mouth. I also wanted him to respect me as a proud woman, because I am a proud woman. I also wanted him to fall in love with my sense of adventure and humor. The truth is, as I got to know Teresa more, I realized that we shared a lot of this in common. Then I realized, as I began to see God as lover and friend, that He fell in love with Teresa for all those reasons. That's when He told me how much He loved me. He asked me to marry Him. I got my childhood wish, that a man would fall in love with me because I'm out going, spunky, loud and proud. He fell in love with me for the same reasons He fell in love with Teresa. And that's why, I guess, we get along so well!!

     This morning, I got up and I boldly said to God, "I hate my 8 am classes. I can't make morning Mass with the sisters and it's really taking a toll on my Spiritual Life. I wish I could just...ugh... I hate 8 ams!" Of course, I laughed, because most people aren't that bold with God. But as our relationship goes, God was just as bold in His answer. He said, "Bec, my dear, be late." Since God knows me so well, He knows how much I hate being late. Being on time is late for me. And yet, He had the audacity to tell me to be late. Really? And so what did I do? I stayed for Mass. And it was so worth it. Not only did I get to pray with my sisters, but I got to celebrate my best friend's feast day with them! And it's a day I consider my own feast day because of my deep devotion to her. The readings were perfect! And I said to God that if Sister Regina plays my favorite composition of the Alleluia, I will know how much I am loved. Did she? Of course! 

      I know that today is a great day! The weather is beautiful, I was only two minutes late to class, it's Teresa's feast day,I have no homework due today, I get to paint tonight, and I've been getting to see so many of my favorite sisters. Yes, I've even run across campus a few times just for a great big hug from Sister George! Oh and I also got to talk to my High School principal this morning! Life is just great and I am truly feeling the love of God today! In my prayer today, I can't help but thank my best friend, Teresa, for knowing how to celebrate a feast day! When I look at her face, I see so much young wisdom, bold reformation, and true friendship with God. When I look at her, I see my own reflection. How great it is to know we are loved by God and that He alone is all we need!! Truth!!

Also, shout out to my Sister, Sister Teresa Mary on her blessed feast day!!