A Day in the Field of..Parent? - Field Day 2012

“To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know."

- Thomas S. Monson

       At twenty years old, one wouldn't think I know much about motherhood. I've never had a child of my own, true, but when a new baby comes into your family when you're just turning twelve, it kind of turns you into a baby mama. I think the funniest thing is that my mother will admit that I changed more of my little sisters diapers than she did. Ever since she was born, I was right there, doing all kinds of things a mother does for her child, for Lizzie. However, the thing I can't stand is when people actually mistaken me for her mother. Like no...absolutely not. But anyway, I do things as an older sibling that some parents don't even do, especially volunteering at school. 

       When I was in high school the thing I loved to do on my days off was not go shopping or go out with my friends, but rather go to my grade school and volunteer to be "Lunch Mom" or "Lunch Sister" as the kiddies called me or to read for the kids or to help with art projects and gym class. I simply loved it. One of my favorite days of the year was Spirit Day (which many know as Field Day) because I got to face paint all the kids faces. Two of my favorite things put together: painting and little kids. I simply loved all the kids and yes, they loved me back. However, our grade school closed last year and so the kids moved on to different schools. Whenever I'm home now from school, I don't volunteer as much because I don't know where to start. I do play taxi though for my little sister and sometimes we will go to Mass at the Parish before school so the parishioner's started to know my face. 

        Two weeks into my summer vacation, my little sister brought home a volunteer form for Field Day. I signed it right away before my mom could even get to it. All I knew was that this was my chance; my chance to see my little ones and my chance to finally get my foot in the door at Lizzie's new school. It didn't even cross my mind that I wouldn't know ANY of the parents there...but there were some that I did know: the sisters. I wasn't even nervous about going into the school. I was about to do something I loved; something that I know is a foreshadowing of my future as an educator and as a sister. 

       So, the day finally came. Lizzie and I headed to Mass where I got mistaken once more as Lizzie's mom, but that was quickly corrected. The sisters all made sure they said their hello, giving me some extra love because they knew I needed it. I dropped her off and then headed home to get ready; I had an hour to kill. At quarter til nine, I hopped in the car and headed back to school where I proceeded to the cafeteria where I knew only one other person. I got my score card and schedule for Lizzie's class and we were ready to go. Our team was a mix of kids I knew from our grade school and kids from the new grade school. By the end of the day all of them were more than willing to hang out with me on a daily basis as they all asked me to come back and play with them. Could I say no? Of course not! 

       The day was filled with many games and many tragedies averted. Let me tell you, when you are eight years old everything seems like a potential tragedy. However, my motherly instincts (and my many education classes) helped avoid all of those potential tragedies. At the end of the sports events, we all sat on the black top and ate our lunches. All the kids learned a little bit about sharing that day, too. After lunch we headed in for the dance party that the principal, Sister Kathleen, put on for the Pre-K - Third Grade kids. What joy filled my heart to see not only the kids dancing and having such a great time but the sisters, too. I got to dance with my favorite little guy, Liam, who is in Pre-K and knew all the words to every song they played; I was in love with the blessings I had been given. 

        The whole day was a true blessing. It felt so great to be back in an atmosphere in which I was so comfortable and which I missed so much while being away at school. As elementary as some college students can be, it doesn't quite measure up to the innocence and playfulness of a second grader. I sincerely missed the whole scene and just the love the kids bring into my life. I couldn't stop thanking God yesterday!

         Aside from loving being back in the scene as "The Best Big Sister Ever," I was so blessed to be with the sisters yesterday as well. Seeing them not only at Mass in the morning, but throughout the whole day was simply a blessing. Our principal, Sister Kathleen made sure she stepped out of her busy day to thank me and congratulate me on my First Field Day at the school. Both Sister Jean and Sister Katherine stopped me in the lunch line to chat for a few minutes about life. And Sister Katherine later joined me on the dance floor with my little Liam. The fact that they barely know me aside my perpetual supply of cookies for their convent, and yet, they went out of their way to get to know me that day was beyond a blessing. It's sisters like that who truly fill my heart with joy; going out of their way just to share the love and give a smile. My favorite sister moment of the day however, were not the lunch line chats or morning pats on the back, but the smile on Sister Jean's face when I had been dancing with Liam, myself on my knees to be on his level, and we were singing our hearts out just having fun. For a quick second I looked over to see if his mom was anywhere around and instead found Sister Jean's loving smile. She had been watching the two of us dance together the whole song. She winked at me and smiled. I went back to dancing. When I looked again, she was gone. Yeah, that was kind of perfect!

           I think the best part of my day was the ability to spread the love. I love the above quote that tells parents to remind their kids how loved they are; it's true. And at Field Day I was able to spread that love and remind the children how much I love them, how perfectly precious they are. And a child for sure, knows when he or she is loved by someone; they give great hugs. And so, while I'm not physically a mother, there's a mother in my heart that got an awful lot of hugs yesterday. And while many may tell me I'll make a good mother, because I would make a good mother, I'll make a great sister for all those kids who will cross my path and bless my life. Here's to the love of children.

    Just a head's up: the blog will be quiet for a little while as I'm headed to New Orleans, Louisiana for some Hurricane Katrina Relief Ministry with school...and with my Daddy. Look forward to all those pictures and plenty of blog posts about my trip!! Can't wait for Service Project Number Two of Summer 2012. We leave at 9:25 tomorrow morning, so all your prayers are greatly appreciated, especially since Papa Guth hates flying!! Lots of love in Jesus Christ. Also, Happy Memorial Day to you all and a great big thanks to our military and veterans!!!

A Piece of Heaven on Earth - A Reflection on Singing

"When you sing, everything that you sing is a prayer. Every song that you proclaim with your voice is a praising of God. Let your voice be heard, my dear. Just do it." 

- Sister Regina

    If there was one person who taught me what music at Mass is supposed to be like, it's the above quoted sister. I studied Liturgical Music for a full year under her direction and I never, ever want to go back to before her class. Let's be honest: there were three of us in the class and we never had any homework. However, that's not why I loved it so much. I can't tell you how many times she told us that if we make our music a prayer, something changes about it; it makes the song sweeter. And if you really think about it, everything that one would sing in church, is Scripture or based on it, therefore, it's a prayer. I can't tell you how many times people have come up to me after Mass and told me that there is something different when I sing. I owe it all to her.

    Growing up, we had a Sister who was a very close family friend ours, Sister Thomasita. I can recall time and time again of our visits with her when we would sit in the front parlor and play the piano together or I would sing for her. Ever since I can remember, I've loved to sing. Singing with Sister Thomasita was always a special treat because I absolutely loved her. As I got older and she got sicker, those days of playing and singing were no more. I did, however, begin my cantoring career. Come my Junior year of High School, she passed away and part of my love for singing went with her. I stopped singing in my Parish that year, for a plethora of reasons, but part of it was because I no longer had her to sing for. 

     Fast forward a few years to my Freshmen year in college. I had not sung in front of a congregation in over two years and I severely missed it. I joined the church choir at school and eventually became a solo cantor again for our morning Mass. I was also taking my class with Sister Regina. However, there were some mornings when she would be the scheduled accompanist for Mass when I would be scheduled to sing and so, we began to form a bond outside of the classroom. She would sit high upon the organ seat and I would stand next to her to sing. Every five measures or so, she would stop playing so she could critique either my breathing, my vowel pronunciation and then finally, to congratulate me on a job well done. Since I am a high Soprano and she is an Alto, when we would be scheduled together, we would harmonize while she played either the piano or organ. I loved being able to sing with her and eventually, my heart kind of said it would never sing with anyone as honestly as it would with her. Basically, I decided I would never sing with anyone else but her. However, duty calls and I have to, but she is my favorite to sing with. 

    Ok, so now that you know that...classes have been over for three weeks. I have not sung at Mass either as a cantor or in the choir in three weeks save for Baccalaureate (which my dear Sister Regina conducted and it was heaven). I can honestly say, I miss it. But, there is no way I would ask to start cantoring in my own Parish again, for many reasons. However, I still miss it. I miss being about to lift my voice in my highest type of prayer. So, the other day, I was really praying hard about this desire to pray with singing. I really wanted to go back to school and sing with Sister Regina. After mass was over, I was talking to our pastor. I said nothing about praying about singing during Mass. However, he asked me if I wouldn't mind singing the Response and the Alleluia for the special Mass he was saying tonight. I couldn't say yes fast enough. His bargain was this (since he knows more or less why I won't sing at home anymore...): I would chant the music  a cappella. I was more than excited because God answered my prayers almost instantly. 

     And so, two days later, tonight, I finally sang again. Although I wasn't with my dear Sister, I was singing and the whole time I was, I could hear her in the back of my head telling me to make it my prayer; to use my voice only to praise God! Father's homily tonight circled around how the Mass is a piece of Heaven on Earth. After Mass someone said, "It is a piece of Heaven on Earth, but only when she sings." I sincerely missed singing for God so much, so the opportunity to sing, alone, was gift enough. But to have some of our Parishioners tell me that my voice is their piece of Heaven, was more than a blessing.

     When I was younger, the only reason I wanted to sing was to bring them closer to God. In all the years that I have sung as a prayer, I've had so many people come to me and tell me how I helped them find or see God. These people range from the homeless on the streets of New Orleans to the Parishioners of my home Parish. To be such an instrument (literally) of God's love is a most beautiful blessing and I am so grateful for those opportunities. I sincerely only want to lead people to God and if I can be a piece of Heaven on Earth, well, I know for sure that God is speaking (well...singing) through my voice. Thanks God for the beauty of that opportunity. Amen, Amen, Alleluia. 

Let's Go To The Beach, Beach - Stone Harbor

"We may think that what we do is a mere drop in the ocean but the ocean would be so much less without that drop."

- Mother Teresa

     The later into the school year it got, the less work I did at work study and the more heart to heart conversation that took place. Essentially, by the last week of school, both my Work Study Sister (she's lovely, legitimately) and myself really could have used a day or two at the beach. Fortunately, for us, we were going to get four! 

     It was the annual Nun's Beach Service Trip. Last year, because I was in Florida, I couldn't go and I was heartbroken. But, my calendar assured both me and my Sister that I could go this year. Praise God!! I had just moved out of my dorm room Monday night and hadn't even been home for more than twelve hours before I was on the road again headed back to school. I had gone out early to Mass, got back on the road, and after picking up s'mores boy (see pictures below) and getting coffee, we were at school again preparing for those four days down the shore with the sisters and some students. Soon, we were on our way, myself driving behind the school van with all the luggage and s'mores boy (who would later in the week be referred to as simply "cardigan"). After taking all the crazy back roads to the beach, we finally made it to the mansion! Having been there once before, I was ecstatic to see the familiar white building and hear the ocean. Sidenote: I have a minor obsession with water and the ocean. So, just the very notion of the ocean (that rhymed) brought me happiness. 

     We arrived, unloaded the vans and were given x amount of free time to do whatever. Me? I went wading, of course. I legitimately ran to the beach, which by the way is in the back yard of the Mansion and owned by the Sisters (how cool?!). I was in the water after just barely pulling up my pant legs. It felt wonderful. I was the happiest girl in the world. After free time, it was dinner around a HUGE rectangular table and then a bout of "collecting" fire wood. By collecting, I mean borrowing without the intention of returning. Then we had our campfire during which a few sisters and students had their very first s'mores (which, really, how does one go through life without ever having eaten one?!) and we played the famous alphabet game during which we deducted and added points like we were doing a chemistry problem. We also played the story game where each person adds a line to a story. Apparently grandma makes tuna which really isn't tuna when she's down the shore...suuuuuure, Sister. 

   The next day was quite a special one since I went to bed nineteen years old and woke up twenty. I, like some people, don't really like my birthday; it's too much attention. Yet, my friends, knowing this, decided to tell everyone in the house. Yes, oh how I love them. When my dear work study sister gave the ok to have everyone sing to be at breakfast, I uncontrollably gave her a most horrendous stink face (for which I later apologized) because I absolutely, positively DO NOT like that song!! All in good humor though, I swallowed it. We spent the morning cleaning the third floor, working in teams. My team, made up of myself, my roommate, some new friends and Sister Work Study got the most lovely view : the beach. Yep, we were spoiled. And it was most likely fixed...but whatever. Since it was rainy that day, I very willingly took the free time in the afternoon to curl up in bed with my book and take a nap for a little while. Dinner followed and then, after I had allowed myself believe that the birthday embarrassment was over, a cake was wheeled out with a very typical convent like candle (a vigil candle) and a most beautiful birthday card. I don't know how she managed it, but everyone signed it and I was completely clueless the whole time. I will honestly say, as much as I don't like my birthday, it was the best birthday I had ever had. I couldn't have been more grateful for the amount of love that was put into it. 

     The next day followed the same pattern, minus the whole birthday celebrations. That afternoon I spent my free time with some of the sisters and lovely ladies in Cape May "shopping" and by shopping I mean, doing Pop Rock Shots (dumping the whole bag of pop rocks in your mouth at one time and having your mouth EXPLODE), animating puppets, and telling stories about the paintings we found in the stores on main street. After the shopping trip, a few crazy girls and myself went swimming. By swimming I mean, full out bathing suit, head under the water, swimming. It was glorious. And it made my bum knee feel absolutely wonderful. Hello Water Therapy!!! That night, my best friend (who is a "baby nun") and I took a severely long walk...and that was even better therapy...for my heart.

    Friday came before we knew it and so, it was spent hanging out with the sisters, cleaning up the place one final time and teaching the other sisters who were on retreat how to fly a kite on the beach. When it came time to leave, I almost cried. So much of me is the ocean; I thrive on water. It's such a spiritual thing for me but also, I am a true believer in the fact that the beach does something so wonderful: it strips a person down to their core and allows them to be who they really are. 

     The truth of the matter is this: the sisters we see at school are our teachers and our administrators. The kids they see at school are their students and people they must look out for me. But down the shore, everyone is on the same level. Conversations that may never have taken place at school, happened at the shore. We all learned something new about one another and it was such a growing experience for everyone. From tagging along to Mass in the morning with the sisters, to having those quiet heart to heart conversations in passing, to counting the number of extra hugs received, to simply sharing the peace and joy of the ocean with some of those who I love so much. 

     I would honestly give anything to have stayed an extra day. But let's be honest. I think next time, it should be two weeks long. I miss it. I miss it so much. I miss the sound of the ocean coming through my window. I miss the smiling faces of hard workers cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I miss the early morning sun rise and pre-coffee conversations with the sisters. I miss simply being there. It was quite possible the best way to start Summer of Service 2012!!! Here's to the rest of my service trips this summer going just as well!

 "Collecting" wood for the firepit 

 Some things never change 

 Sister's first s'more

 Cleaning the bathrooms 

 Two-thirds of the Kitchen Crew 

 Pop Rock Shots...to humor me

 These were the best...after the yodeling pickle

 Hello Summer Mansion

 Just a little bit of photography

 Teaching Sister how to not crash a kite

Best group ever? I think so!

Princess for a Day - First Communion

"The most beautiful thing in the world is the communion between Jesus in the Eucharist and the littlest hearts who have the fullest understand of who He is!"

     Do you remember that day? For me, it was May 6th, 2000. I wore a beautiful white dress and cute little white shoes. I wore precious little socks with little white bows on the side and my veil was attached to a headband. I had practiced time and time again on how to fold my hands and bow my head and stick out my tongue. I was ready! 

     When I think back on it, it feels like it happened so long ago and yet, I can perfectly recall it like it was yesterday. I can't honestly say I remember my sister's the same way, but I'm sure she could easily recall the whole thing for you, too. It's been a while since there was a First Communion in our family and while some people have told me they think about their special day every time they receive the Eucharist, I can't truthfully say I do. It's not very often that I do think about it. But one thing is for sure, I never want to go back to those pre-Eucharist days, because Jesus in the Eucharist is my ultimate strength!!

     Flash forward to May 5th, 2012; the First Communion of my littlest sister and my god-daughter (that, my friends is CRUCIAL information). I had come home from school late the night before and the alarm went off at a whooping 5:30 am; I hit the snooze button til 6. The little princess was sound asleep on my floor as I crept down the stairs to get myself ready. At 7, I finally woke her up. Princess Face (my latest nickname for her) got up and hopped in the shower to finally start getting ready! We had to be at school by 8:30 and for a little Princess, that might seem impossible. But, we did it! Her hair, subtle makeup and outfit was all ready to go and although I am a bit biased, she was the most beautiful little First Communicant I had ever seen. 

      Mass was at ten and so I was granted another hour of running around like crazy trying to calm her down, see all the parishioners who almost didn't recognize me because it's been so long since I've been home, and finding my great-grandmother (true story. she got lost.) My own heart was beating like crazy because I was so excited for my little Princess. Soon enough, the music began and all the little princes and princesses came walking down the aisle. I love to sing and always sing my heart out in church, but when I saw her smiling as she walked down the aisle, I choked up and couldn't sing without tears running down my face. I was so happy for her!! After the whole congregation got over the little awkward parts of the Mass by saying, "And also with you spirit," and my great-grandma awkwardly asking me when I was going to get back together with my previously dated friend, everyone was into the actual swing of the Mass. From where we were seated in the church, I could not see a thing. I guess it's a short person problem!! But, I could hear everything.

       Father's homily was absolutely beautiful. He started by asking where the parents were, then the grandparents, then the God-Parents. Out of all the people packed into our Parish, there were only five God-Parents and I was one of those five proud God-Parents!!!! He then asked all the kids why they were excited for the day!! After asking almost all the kids, he tied together all their answers and produced the most beautiful First Communion Homily I've heard in a while (and I've heard a lot!!!). 

      Finally the time came for the first communicants to receive their First Eucharist and while I couldn't see a thing, my heart knew when my little Princess received Jesus! Immediately, tears were streaming down my cheeks for the beauty of the First Communion between Jesus and the little hearts of the kids! I walked down the aisle as the time came for me to go to Communion and Sister Jeanne, reached her hand out from her pew as I walked by to pat my arm. I smiled at her and saw that she had damp cheeks, too. I guess it's a sister thing!! In both senses of the word!! I smiled at Little Lizzie as I walked past and she was all smiles!! Yep, the most beautiful thing in the world is to witness the First Communion between Jesus and the little hearts of those who know exactly who He is!!

Long Time, No See...Literally

     So how do I explain my silence in recent weeks? One word: school. The truth is, I have never in my whole life been so busy with school work than I have been in the weeks between Easter and now. The good news is this: the semester is OVER and I ended with a successful 3.84 GPA!! Woot Woot. Now while I like to pick some bones with some of my professors about why I should get a higher grade because I was the ONLY participant in their classes, I don't really care too much. I mean, check that GPA, sistah!! Since the school year has officially ended, let's list some things I learned this year:

1.) Camilla aprons are actually NOT fire proof and will catch fire when used for pot holders.
2.) Coffee IS the elixir of life and one simply cannot function without it.
3.) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is actually very comparable with my life story: the road less traveled lacks directions.
4.) Chicago is FLAT!!
5.) It's good to know the Mother General.
6.) Functioning on 2 hours of sleep is OK as long as the reason you only got two hours of sleep is because you were baking cookies with your friends.
7.) Observations aren't all that bad when spent with the three best friends a girl could ask for.
8.) Sometimes God takes us through deserts so we can learn full dependence on Him.
9.) The ability to forgive those whom you love the most is the greatest thing to possess.
10.) Falling asleep in Mass is OK as long as you have a pew buddy to wake you up.
11.) When in doubt, while giving speeches in Public Speaking classes, always talk about nuns or sisters.
12.) Some sisters can see right through you, regardless of how much you try to hide.
13.) You can actually paint really well.
14.) Sometimes the littlest note of encouragement can make someone's whole week.
15.) Working at the Motherhouse has immense perks!!
16.) Some people don't know what a preposition is and that is why we need really good English teachers!!
17.) Never take for granted those moments you spend at work study not really working.
18.) Don't be hesitant to receive hugs as easily as you give them; your strength lies in them.
19.) Sometimes the sisters figure out your code names for them...oops.

but most of all....

20.) No matter how silent God seems to be, He is always there. Promise.

I learned a lot more this year, don't worry, but those are just a few. In the next week, I'll be posting about my little Lizzie's First Communion and my week in Stone Harbor with the sisters!!! Look forward to them!!!