Living With Nuns Perks - Hurricane Sandy

"When you're all alone in the night, 

and you're small and terribly frightened,

it's Sandy, Sandy who will always be there."

- "Sandy", Annie

     I'm pretty sure you've heard of her. She was a raging hurricane, full of emotions that one news station couldn't tie down. We all may be thanking God that she's gone now, but she left a line of destruction for us to never forget that she was here. She's the type that crashes a party like she owns the place, breaks all the boys' hearts, spills her soda all over the kitchen floor, and then leaves before she gets asked to clean it up. Of course, who could forget a party crasher like Sandy? And so, because of her wrath and destruction and damage, we are all going to have a story to tell about Sandy. Here's mine:

     They told me I was crazy for going back to school as Sandy was coming closer. By they, I mean, my Parish family. Yes, I did drive back to school as Sandy's rain started hitting the Northeast. I made it back inside my building right before it started down-pouring. I laughed as I walked to Mass in the rain later that night, but I knew the worst was yet to come. At Mass we had a total of (drumroll please...) 20 people even. It was clear that most students took the "school evacuation" seriously. Those who were left, the remnant, were the risk takers or the ones who would have been going into a more dangerous place if they left. And so, we few had "hunkered down" and prepared for the worst. 

      Thanks to a family party on Friday, there was plenty of food. My roommate essentially stockpiles in bottled water. She's also a cop, so I found her heavy duty "Sergeant Greenwood" flashlight. I had plenty of blankets if the heat shut off and most importantly, I had my "Ducky" umbrella, ready to fight the rain. I was hurricane ready! 

      Monday morning, before the worst of Sandy even hit, I had "waddled" to Mass in what the weather people were calling a squall. What adventure! Of course, "Ducky" didn't do too much other than keep my face dry. So, I squeaked into my pew with the sisters. I had a quick thought that, if we don't have school, why don't they all just wear their PJ's/comfy clothes to Mass. But then I thought of the Carmelites who wear their habits all the time, and never go out. I then understood. However, you could tell it was a "day off" but the lack of blazers and suit jackets, and the abundance of sweaters and sweater vests. It was precious. Some of the sisters were shocked to see me, while others just rolled their eyes knowing that I would be one to stay on campus during a raging hurricane. After Mass, however, is when every single sisters' motherly instincts kicked in. "Are you ready?" "Do you have enough water?" "How about food? Don't walk across campus to the cafe, you'll blow away." and so many other questions and phrases. I reassured my "mothers" that I was ready and even mentioned that I was worried about them, too. I would be more than willing to share a "Hurricane Campout/Party" with them. 

      The truth is, on my side of the building, I live with nine sisters. On my floor alone, there are three lovely ladies! One who is my best friend, one who thinks it's hilarious to scare the daylights out of me by sneaking up on me and one who is almost always persistent about "giving the students a break" every so often. Yep, it's a pretty happening floor. During the hurricane "evacuation" there were only a select few of us left on the floor, including our sister neighbors. In fact, it was eerily quiet. And so, even though I'm not one for liking a lot of noise, I had to turn the TV on because it was "too" quiet. All I could hear was the sound of rain, wind and squalls. As fearless as I am, I actually freaked out occasionally. While part of me wanted the power to go out, I actually was so grateful it didn't. That was until, the noise from the TV News Station stopped. Cable was out. Great. 

     Now let me just put this out there, I NEVER watch TV. Like, if I'm watching TV, it's most likely I'm just listening for noise when my roommate isn't here because it's too quiet. I really had no one to talk to, no one to listen to, nothing. It was actually pretty scary. So, after opening my window to smell the salty air and making dinner for my lone neighbor, I snuggled under my blankets and pretended no hurricane could get me under my blankets. Truth is, I really wanted my little sister here with me snuggling. If I had someone to protect, I could be brave. During the night, I had nightmares of trees falling through my windows and everywhere. By the next morning, however, the calm after the storm had come. That's when the stories started.

      Apparently, our other residence hall lost power really early in the night, around the same time we lost the cable. When I got back to my room after Mass, I had a knock on my door and one of my best friends barged in exclaiming how lucky I was. He asked if I had hot water that morning and I said yes. Apparently, his side of the building had no heat or hot water. I shrugged and offered my room as a hangout for him if he got too cold. By the early afternoon, cabin fever set it really bad and so another one of my best friends, Alice, and I went out to survey the damage to campus and take a walk. We wound up finding tons of branches, one fallen tree and a turkey vulture eating lunch. Ew. It was still misting outside and really cold, but we braved going over to the Motherhouse to check in on our sisters. During the story sharing, I realized, I am one lucky duck. While the rest of the students on campus are either in the dark, wet or cold, I am all the regular luxuries of life. Now don't get me wrong, I offered up my room as a safe haven, but no one took advantage. While we were trying to figure out how my side of the building got so lucky, I realized that this, my dear friends, was a perk of living with nuns. 

       There are many convent living perks but one that I never really delved into was what one sister said to me so long ago. She said, "One thing you can be promised is that God will always take care of you. When you live in the convent, you are taken so well care of." I truly didn't realize this truth til Sandy can blowing at my windows. Now don't get me wrong, I DO NOT live in the convent at school. But rather, the sisters live with us. And so, because they LIVE here, they must be taken care of. I just happened to benefit from that taking care of this week during Sandy's wrath. And so, while I am always grateful for the sisters and I really wish they all knew how much I truly love them, I was especially grateful for them unknowingly sharing their benefits of convent living with me. There truly are living with nuns perks. 

      And so, now that you have my Sandy Story, please, please, please continue to join me in praying for all those affected by Sandy's wrath. I have many friends who were affected greatly by the storm, my roommate is one of them. There was plenty of flooding and destruction, but my biggest fear right now is the amount of time before power is restored to our dear Camilla Hall. Thanks! Be safe in your post-Sandy adventures!

What Is Love? Perhaps Love Is...

"If I should live forever, 

my memories of Love will be

of you."

- "Perhaps Love", John Denver

     When someone tells you that they love you, how do you respond? Do you respond with "thank you?" Or maybe "I love you, too?" Or maybe, you don't respond? The other day I emailed in a panic, Sister Cathy. I said, "Sister, if someone writes me a beautiful love ballad, how do I respond? HELP!" Of course, being the beautiful conversationalist she is, she emailed, "When you come in tomorrow, we'll talk." Today was yesterday's tomorrow. 

     Of course, every conversation must start somewhere, and so I explained the situation. And how I thanked the young gentleman for all the beautiful and kind things he said about me. I also said how sometimes I have to watch when I say I love you to some people. Of course, that's when we started talking about what is love? I'm still thinking of it. I even asked my little sister for some help.

      Children, I am convinced, have all the answers. They always know what to say, when to say it and how to say it, and how to feel true emotion. I called my little Lizzie and upon the first ring, she answered. It was as if she was waiting for me to call. So I asked her a series of questions about love. She said "Love is caring, being nice to one another and helping one another." She knows when people are in love "when they are together and they hold hands." She knows that "God, Jesus and Mary love me. Mommy and Daddy love me. And my sisters, the IHM sisters and other sisters love me." Finally, she said, "They love me because I'm small and cute. Because they hug me and let me help them and they help me. They love me almost as much as I love them." Then she said, "Becky, I'm tired of all the questions. What's the answer?" I couldn't help but smile and laugh as I told her, "You are right." 

      The funny thing is she said nothing about saying "I love you." For her, love is shown by actions. And yet, those three words mean so much in English. Personally, I tell everyone I love them. And while so many people have issues with that, (because how can one truly love everyone??) I do it because it's true. I have found deep within me, a love for everyone. Sister Cathy told me that the young gentleman probably is in love with not just me, but the true goodness and kindness in me. And, of course, the true love that's in me from God. That's when I remember Sister Teri's definition of love. She said, "It's when the Christ in me recognizes the Christ in you." And it's so true. When I say "I love you" I imagine Christ using my voice to tell those I tell, that He loves them. I reflected on this a little during Mass and I realized that sometimes Christ picks people to spread love. I am one of those people, because I can give love so free and easily. 

      When I say "I love you" I mean it but I mean it in the purest sense of those words. In Italian, the phrase for I love you literally means "I want what's best for you." That's what I mean when I say I love you. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I want what's best for my friends, for my family, for my sisters and for those I meet randomly, those who I don't really know, and those I minister to. And yet, I never realize that maybe to some of those young men I am friends with or I minister to, take my "I love you" as something more than emotional, more than me wanting what's best for them. They understand my "I love you" as a forever love in terms of significant others and husbands and wives. And while I cannot stop saying "I love you" because I cannot stop being who I am and who God needs me to be, I can use those moments of sincere love for those "teachable moments" and conversations like what I with Sister Cathy on what is love.

      So, while we're on the topic, what is love for me? What do I consider love? Love is not something that only a man and woman feel for each other. But rather, something that can be felt from anyone for anyone. And true love is this: the willingness to be selfless for the benefit of another. And so, when I say I love you, I mean that I would be willing to do anything for you, to be selfless. It's a love called Agapos in Greek. It's a love so beautifully emulated by Christ, He who literally died for us, for our benefit. I can only wish that everyone could understand this love, but because of our society, love is a word tossed around so frequently. I love you is said more times than it is meant. And unfortunately, love has been so downgraded in society that "we accept only the love we think we deserve" (perks of being a wallflower). What is love, really? In truth, what is it? If you look deep inside your heart and soul, you'll be able to find what true love is. And then, when you realize what it is, you will be able to give and receive it freely!

      And so, I love you, I truly, really do. "Some say love is everything" and that's me. And "Some say they don't know." That might be you. Discover it, find it, love it. And since I love languages and words and you know that so well, I say this to you "S'agapo, didasklos." I love you, teacher, the one who taught me to question my own views of love. And yet, Agapo, is selfless love. Don't forget it, I don't think I tell you enough! Now, for all those who are wondering.......take a listen:

 

A Daily Cheerful Invitation - What Mass is like for me!

"Every morning is a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, 

and I may say, innocence."

- Henry David Thoreau

What my morning looked like today!

     I'm sitting in the hard, wooded pew sandwiched between my dear Sister Cathy (she's steady been my pew partner for three years now) and the pillar (God thinks this is funny because there is no way for me to escape). My knee is throbbing and for some reason so is my elbow. It's a bit chilly in Chapel this morning, and my continuous thought process goes like this: "It's cold. My knee hurts. I'm so tired. Bed. I want my bed. I'm getting the chills. My bed is so warm. I would love to have Mass in bed..." and so on and so forth. My eye lids are drooping when all of a sudden, I can feel the Sun warm on my face. I look up and I can't help but smile, for the Sun is directly shining on me through the beautiful stained glass windows. Everything I had just been mentally complaining about doesn't matter. I feel loved. 

     To put this in "real life" perspective, let's say as a married person, you wake up feeling miserable. All you want is to stay in bed, cuddle up next to your beloved, and go back to sleep, nice and warm. However, you have to get up for work, your beloved is no where to be seen, and you know you can't stay in bed sleeping all day. So, as you begin to drag yourself out of the bed, your beloved surprises you with your morning coffee, perfectly brewed, made just the way you like it with the perfect amount of sugar and creamer in it. With a kiss, he suggests you go out onto the porch to watch the sunrise before the kids get up. You feel loved.

      Or if you're not married, it's as if you are walking through the halls, holding your head down, because you have a test next period and you forget to study. You know you're going to fail because you simply do not understand how to balance those Chemistry equations. Not only that, you forgot your lunch on the bus and you were really excited for that Peanut Butter/Banana sandwich you had packed. Life seems to stink and all you want is a hug. Then, suddenly, someone yells down the hallway: "Hey! Hey you! Yeah you. You're beautiful. Come into my arms. It's free hugs day and I have a hug with your name on it." Slightly weird, but perfect. It's exactly what you need. You feel loved.

      Whenever something really tiny and is, to most people, insignificant, happens, like the simply Sun shining through the window, I feel loved. Because it's those little, tiny moments that seem to me being God whispering over and over in my ear, "I love you. I love you. I love you." And most times, those moments happen when I really need them. Now, as if the Sun warming my face during Mass wasn't enough, I soon after heard the angelic voices of my Sisters surrounding me as they sang. While I love to sing, I love closing my eyes, opening my ears, and smiling, as I just listen to their voices. As a musician, I'm blessed with the ability to listen to group of singers and pick out whose voice is whose and then to listen to them collectively again. I'm blessed to be surrounded literally, in my pew, by some of my favorite voices. Today, our song was both in Spanish and English, and so, of course, I was listening  for one voice in particular. One day, I'm convinced she will notice me leaning toward her just to hear her better (and if she reads this, she'll know my secret...). Today, I couldn't help myself. Not only does she have a beautiful voice, but she has such a wonderful pronunciation of Spanish because she's fluent. With the Sun on my face, and her angelic voice singing to my soul, I felt like I was in Heaven. I literally felt so loved.

       The mornings are my favorite part of any day. I love to watch the Sunrise, to listen to the birds singing, I love hearing the gentle wind blowing through the trees. Sometimes in the morning, when I'm really feeling loved, I'm tempted to dance around back campus like Maria in The Sound of Music. But my favorite part of the mornings, is when I get to go to Mass with my Sisters. Because of my crazy schedule, I don't get to go to Mass with them as much as I would like, and like I said in my post about Teresa of Avila, it takes a toll on my Spiritual Life. When I am with them in Mass, I feel so enriched, so alive, so awake and so loved. Thoreau, one of my all time favorite authors, said in Walden, "Every morning is a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity and I may say, innocence. The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Morning is when I am awake and there is a dawn in me. To be awake is to be alive." I couldn't have said it better myself. How Thoreau put it is exactly how I feel. Being with the Sisters gives me an aliveness I can only experience with them. I am so happy and joyous in both my heart and soul, and really I can't stop smiling. Mass, for me, is a cheerful invitation given to me by both God and by each of my smiling sisters, to join them in a life of simplicity and innocence. And what I would give to be able to join them fully in that lifestyle now. But, I know patience is a virtue and I must wait for God. However, as long as I have those mornings with them, where the Sun shines straight to me and my Sisters are beautifully singing, praising God, I will be alive. I will be alive and awake. And I will keep saying yes to their daily cheerful invitation. 

God Alone Suffices - Teresa of Avila

"Let nothing disturb thee, 

Let nothing frighten you,

All things will pass.

God, alone, suffices."

- St. Teresa of Avila

    Isn't she beautiful? This is one of my most favorite pictures of Teresa, as she looks so young. I'd like to say that in this rendition, she's maybe in her early twenties. Like me. If someone ever asked me who is your favorite saint, hands down, I would answer: Teresa of Avila. She's a strong woman of God, unafraid to reform for His glory and she was a Carmelite (don't tell the other sisters, but they are my favorite!). 

     When I was younger, a priest always used to give his homilies on the lives of the saints. Forget about what the Gospel or the readings were, no matter what day it was, there was a story of a saint. Fascinated by this, I asked him why he only ever gave homilies on the saints. He answered, "When I was little, my father told me to study the saints. They became my friends. So, when I give homilies about them, it's like talking about my closest friends." I fell in love with that and soon after, I began to find my friends. Katherine Drexel was one of the first. Shortly after her, came Therese. But my best friend, I found in Teresa of Avila. I literally fell in love with these strong women of faith. They were the undercover feminists of their time, and I admire them for it! But Teresa, she's something else. She was the most outspoken woman of the church, I found. She was a mystic but also, she was a leader, fearless in her faith. She even said to God, "It's no wonder you have so few friends, if this is how you treat them." She considered Jesus her closest friend and lover, and I learned how to be a friend of Jesus through her. She was real with God, she was bold with God, and He loved her for it. She had spunk. Spunk that I wanted. And so, she easily became my friend; my best Heavenly friend.

     I always felt when I was younger, that I wanted a man to fall in love with me for my spunk, for my outgoing nature, and for my loud mouth. I also wanted him to respect me as a proud woman, because I am a proud woman. I also wanted him to fall in love with my sense of adventure and humor. The truth is, as I got to know Teresa more, I realized that we shared a lot of this in common. Then I realized, as I began to see God as lover and friend, that He fell in love with Teresa for all those reasons. That's when He told me how much He loved me. He asked me to marry Him. I got my childhood wish, that a man would fall in love with me because I'm out going, spunky, loud and proud. He fell in love with me for the same reasons He fell in love with Teresa. And that's why, I guess, we get along so well!!

     This morning, I got up and I boldly said to God, "I hate my 8 am classes. I can't make morning Mass with the sisters and it's really taking a toll on my Spiritual Life. I wish I could just...ugh... I hate 8 ams!" Of course, I laughed, because most people aren't that bold with God. But as our relationship goes, God was just as bold in His answer. He said, "Bec, my dear, be late." Since God knows me so well, He knows how much I hate being late. Being on time is late for me. And yet, He had the audacity to tell me to be late. Really? And so what did I do? I stayed for Mass. And it was so worth it. Not only did I get to pray with my sisters, but I got to celebrate my best friend's feast day with them! And it's a day I consider my own feast day because of my deep devotion to her. The readings were perfect! And I said to God that if Sister Regina plays my favorite composition of the Alleluia, I will know how much I am loved. Did she? Of course! 

      I know that today is a great day! The weather is beautiful, I was only two minutes late to class, it's Teresa's feast day,I have no homework due today, I get to paint tonight, and I've been getting to see so many of my favorite sisters. Yes, I've even run across campus a few times just for a great big hug from Sister George! Oh and I also got to talk to my High School principal this morning! Life is just great and I am truly feeling the love of God today! In my prayer today, I can't help but thank my best friend, Teresa, for knowing how to celebrate a feast day! When I look at her face, I see so much young wisdom, bold reformation, and true friendship with God. When I look at her, I see my own reflection. How great it is to know we are loved by God and that He alone is all we need!! Truth!!

Also, shout out to my Sister, Sister Teresa Mary on her blessed feast day!!

Time Is Love - Loving and Being Loved

"Time is love, gotta run, love to hang longer

but I got someone who waits, waits for me and right now

she's where I need be. Time is love."

- "Time Is Love", Josh Turner

     I apologize in advance for getting this song stuck in your head and heart. Truth is, I've probably quoted it a million times in multiple blogs. It's one of my favorites, can you tell? It just honestly speaks volumes to me. I love the feeling I get when listening to it: it reminds me of a perfect summer with my little sisters. I am instantly reminded of roadtrips to the beach with my sisters in the back seats, breaking rules and swimming in waterfalls, singing at the top of my lungs in harmony with my sister while driving to the middle of no where and waving at unsuspecting passersby while in traffic, and of course, I'm reminded of those early morning wawa coffee dates with the little one or midnight McDonalds run where we shared a box of chicken nuggets and a fruit smoothie (we are soooooo healthy, let me tell you.) I miss those moments of my summer, and yet they are forever molded in my mind. This song will always be connected with those joyous moments of time spent loving with my sisters. However, there's so much more to this song for me. 

     Last night was my first night back at work since last Tuesday because I've been sick. I had a few good days when I was at home, but I came back to school sick, sick, sick. I won't give you too many details, but it was one of my worst nightmares come true: no voice. I still have a groggy little froggy voice as little Lizzie calls it, but I'm doing much better. I am taking my time getting better though, so I don't relapse ;)! However, like I said, I went back to working portress last night. Usually when I go, it's like two ships passing in the night because as I am coming, she is running to ring the bell for prayers. But yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised by Sister Honora, who returned to the office after ringing the bell. Instead of running off to prayers, she sat in the "guest seat" in the portress office and chatted with me for almost a half hour. When she left she said, "I made this my prayer today. We have to make time to take time with those we love." I thanked her for the reminder that time needs to be taken. Then instantly, Josh Turner was stuck in my head. 

     As you could easily tell, I'm a writer. That's a shocker, I know! So, I wrote Sister Honora a letter. But for me, that wasn't enough. I needed to spread the word, because what she said was so true. And so, I ended up here. The truth is, and I told her this, I am always, always, always taking time to remind myself to take time for others. I have always been an advocate for giving small smiles, saying hellos and carrying on conversations with those I may not know very well, or being aware of the small things in a person's life. Yet, sometimes, I forget how much time is love for those closest to me. For those I love. I guess I assume they know how much I love them, and yet, I know I have to tell them, I have to show them, I need to give them time. And there are so many that I love that I don't tell enough. I'm going to change that. Because time is love and I need to give them more of my time. 

     This wasn't the only thing I realized though when she visited with me. After I really thought about it, she said we have to make time for those we love. Yes, I am reminded that I have to give more time to those I love BUT also, I need to make time to be loved. This week, while I was sick, I couldn't do much loving. I spent a lot of time in bed and sleeping. I wasn't really a happy camper, so there were no random smiles, no random conversations, no time for love. And yet, my heart wasn't empty. People, I realized were making time for me, to love me. I got a few phone calls checking up on me, notes from my "Mom" at school on my door, apples from my favorite Freshmen, and of course, conversations with some of my favorite Motherhouse Sisters. My visit with Sister Honora (and all the extra lovin' I got this week) was God's double reminder to tell those I love how much I love them AND to be open to accepting love. God, as He always does, took time to love, because right then, I was where He needed to be! Thanks, God. You're perfect! I'm so blessed to be loved by You and all the beautiful people you put in my life. 

Shoulders Aren't Just To Cry On

"Pulled into Nazareth, feeling 'bout half past dead.

Just need some place where I can rest my head.

Sister, can you tell me where one might find a bed?

She just grinned and shook my hand. No, was all she said."

- "The Weight," John Denver

     It seems that when I am at school, I can barely survive without at least two naps a day. I go to bed at midnight and get up at 6:30. Every. Single. Day. For the past two days, I have gone to bed at midnight and gotten up at 6. I've have no naps. And yet, I'm running on full. God has given me such grace and energy! And what grace and energy I needed to get through this adventurous day!

     Once again, I "pulled into Nazareth" and observed my dear Sister Mary Anthony for another few hours. However, today at Nazareth, I was once again reminded of something from my past. Something, that for some reason, I pushed deep inside myself and haven't let loose for a while. I was reminded of the deep and intense affect of a smile and of gentle words. Oh, and how much screaming "I love you" down any hallway really does hit home to peoples' hearts. Why? Because someone took notice. As much as I visit my alma mater, I don't know too many of the students there anymore. For most of them, I was a random visitor. And yet, a random visitor who wasn't afraid to smile, hug, or motivate my "new friends." Of course, my "old friends" appreciated it as well. Somehow, I knew I changed some lives yesterday!

      After the Nazareth adventure...well, there was another Nazareth adventure. As I said while we were driving, "Every time I'm in a car with nuns, people look at me weird. So I wave and I wonder why are they looking at me weird. When the drive away, I realize. Oh, I'm in a car with a bunch of women who have weird things on their heads." I can't tell you how many times that happened yesterday! Life with the sisters is so normal for me, that I often forget that to most people it's actually kind of weird, abnormal, out of the ordinary. So, I continued to just wave and smile at random passersby for two hours as we drove to Middle of No Where, Pennsylvania.

      There is something about the middle of PA that simply captures my heart. And while I'll always be a city girl at heart, I could easily adapt to Smalltown, USA in a heartbeat because essentially, my home "city" is a small town. The mountains were beautiful, the sunset, and even the fact that so many years later, Sister Michele still knew everyone and everyone still knew her, made my heart melt. As we visited her "second parish" for their Harvest Festival, I felt a deep connection with those people of St. Mary's. The truth is, what Sister Michele has with St. Mary's, I desire for me and St. Thomas. Every few feet, we met and hugged a different family or couple, meanwhile hearing stories about "Baby Sister Michele." You could easily tell the people there love her. The close-knit aspect of St. Mary's I found was just like that of my own Parish. And so, as I watched her interact with her previous parishioners, I  foresaw into my own future. There are some moments, I admit, that when I sitting alone in a pew before Mass, I think of how life will be when I come back to my parish as a Sister. Especially, if it's been so many years. I smiled to myself, as her family quickly became mine. If you know me, you know I could talk to a brick and have it be interesting. So, talking and connecting with the people of St. Mary's was a piece of cake! It was such a beautiful experience to know that my kindred sister could easily be a foreshadowing of my future for when "I go back." The evening was spent enjoying good home cookin', good friendship and great conversation. 

      Before we knew it, it was already time to go home. And so, the four of climbed in the nun mobile (the car who wishes it was an RV) and headed homeward. As I sat in the backseat and reflected, I realized what a crazy crew we were. We all shared some common bonds, but in truth we are so different. From the languages we speak, to the foods we like, to the way we dress (yes, even as sisters), to the way we interact with one another, we were different and yet, these three lovely women are women I consider my sisters, not just my religious sisters, but my real sisters. And since, I've only ever been the "big sister", they give me a chance to be the little one for a change. From letting me link their arms, to them teasing me about everything under the Sun, yes, I truly felt like a little sister. I embraced my inner Lizzie. 

      As I reflected, I, of course, fell asleep. Some of you may know that I can honestly sleep anywhere. My roommate has plenty of pictures to prove it. However, the car is probably the place I fall asleep the most aside from my bed. And before we hit the highway, I was out like a light. Somehow, I wound up sharing the shoulder of one of my big sisters, Sister Marcelina, in the back seat. The two of us slept soundly while our two sisters in the front listened to the same four John Denver songs over and over and over. And like little girls all grown up, they woke me by telling me I snored the whole way home. False statement, of course, but my role as little sister remained. And so when we pulled into Nazareth, I was about half past dead (asleep) and when I "asked" sister where I could rest my head, she didn't give me a bed, but her shoulder instead. The shoulders of my sisters, both related and non, are not just for crying on, but they can be for hugs, stories and road trip pillows. It was quite a beautiful night, if I say so myself!

Oh, and just for the record, this song, "Cows On The Hill" does exist! :P

A Constant Reminder

"A constant reminder of where I can find Her light that might give up the way.

It's all that I'm asking for without Her I'm lost,

my Love don't fade away."

- "Reminder," Mumford and Sons

     I'm a huge Mumford and Sons fan. Their new CD has been on constant reply since it came out on Tuesday. I almost know every word to every song. However, like with most music, I can easily find my new favorite song. This time, it's "Reminder." So often, I've been able to relate so many of their songs to my God and my Faith. This song is no exception. From the moment I heard it, I instantly thought of Mary, JC's Mama. Now that may be because on top of the dome at school, Mary is not only overlooking us all, but she lights up. True story. However, today, as I drove home from visiting my high school, "Reminder" took on a whole new meaning. 

     For the past week, I've been in a stage of avoiding all people, being solitary and quite frankly, downright miserable. We all have our down days, mine just happened to last a week. Life is not always joy and sunshine; sometimes it has to rain. It rained (literally) for me this week. However, there was one thing that kept me hanging on: Wednesday night I was going home. And thank God for Sister Cathy who constantly reminded me of that notion (just another reason why she's wonderful). By Wednesday morning, even my body knew it was time to leave campus and go home; pain was everywhere. And so, by the grace of God and the kindness of friends and professors, I made it home earlier than expected. I needed my Teddy Bear, my bed and my little snuggling sister. And Wednesday night, I got that.

      Now usually on Thursdays, I head out with a group of three other crazy Secondary Education majors (AKA my best friends) and go to observations. Since I was home, I didn't head out with my three best friends, but rather my little sisters. Yes, little Lizzie and I went to Mass after we dropped Mary off at the carpool house! Soon after Mass, Lizzie was walking into school while I was heading to my Alma Mater for surprise observations with one of my closest friends, Sister Mary Anthony. The honest truth is that, I missed first and second period because of heavy city traffic, and she only taught one class since her Sophomores were on retreat. However, that doesn't make the day worse, but better.

      You see, whenever I walk through the front doors, I don't get a visitor pass, but rather, a smile, a hug and a beautiful "welcome home" from my principal and the ladies in the main office. After I arrived, later than expected, I headed toward where "my sister" would be. Instead of finding her, I found another dear sister of mine, Sister Teresa Mary (she's after Teresa of Avila, my main girl). For a half hour, we chatted and caught up, something we rarely get to do when I visit. She's always busy; I'm always busy. But today, God was working in full force with the graces. After our visit, I finally found my sister during the activity period.
      She's a new teacher at my alma mater, but she has taken the place by storm. All the girls love her bustling energy, her creativity and her willingness to go the extra ten miles. As she was conducting her CSC (Community Service Corps) meeting, a plethora of my previous teachers floated in and out of the student dining room, each one surprised to see me but had more than one hug ready for me. There's no other place in the world where it is acceptable to hold a previous student's face, tell her how wonderful she is and then hug her real tight as if it's been years. In no other place could I have possibly bonded with so many of the faculty that I am their family, their youngest grandchild, their favorite niece, their crazy sister, and even their equal. I am seen not as a graduate, but as a member of a family. And the hugs and love I receive each time I walk through the door, reminds me of a huge, Italian family. I love them all.
      The rest of the day held constant surprises for me, but the biggest surprise of all was being able to help out at the Sophomore Retreat. Within seconds of my entering the gym behind all the girls, Sister Michele casually mentioned there was a visitor in the room. Truth is, I looked around, questioning who this visitor might be. Finally, as Sister David started to laugh, I realized this "visitor" was me. However, as I walked down the aisle, with a hundred plus sets of (unknown) eyes watching me, Sister Michele began to explain how I really wasn't a visitor but rather part of the family. She told the girls how we met at my own Sophomore retreat and how much it had changed my life in such a beautiful way. She casually mentioned how she never knows where I am going to turn up next, whether in New Orleans, Jamaica, Chicago, Philadelphia, anywhere and she was just as surprised when she heard I was in the building today. Then, as she often does, asked if I wanted to say anything. Of course I did.
      Somehow, I came out with the most random and God-filled mini speech about being open to God and His Will. I talked about stepping over the line into God's hands and having to take not just one foot, but the other behind it. I had no idea where that came from, however, I felt all those eyes on me and I knew, I just knew God wanted those words to be said. When I finished, Sister David (she was the first sister I ever told about my discernment) said to me, "Sweetheart, you've been open since the day I met you. That was beautiful." I couldn't help be return the wonderful words and tell her how great she is.
      For the rest of the afternoon, I helped my sisters in running the remainder of the retreat and what fun we had. As I interacted with both the students and the faculty, I couldn't help but feel such excitement for teaching in my heart. I was once again reminded about how much I am meant to be a teacher, especially for these high school aged students who really need, as one of the faculty members said to me, "a cool, hip, number one Jesus fan."
     And quite honestly, I need them. They reminded me today of hope, hope for my career, for my life, and for what God is calling me to do, but as a young person and a religious. They reminded me that it's totally ok to have those rotten, miserable days, because there is always going to be someone to hug you and embrace you, whether a friend, family member, sister or Jesus. They reminded me to remain open. And of course the reminded me of the light Nazareth will always be for me. Truly, without Her I would be lost. Oh and ironically enough, Nazareth has a dome that lights up, too!