A Daily Cheerful Invitation - What Mass is like for me!

"Every morning is a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, 

and I may say, innocence."

- Henry David Thoreau

What my morning looked like today!

     I'm sitting in the hard, wooded pew sandwiched between my dear Sister Cathy (she's steady been my pew partner for three years now) and the pillar (God thinks this is funny because there is no way for me to escape). My knee is throbbing and for some reason so is my elbow. It's a bit chilly in Chapel this morning, and my continuous thought process goes like this: "It's cold. My knee hurts. I'm so tired. Bed. I want my bed. I'm getting the chills. My bed is so warm. I would love to have Mass in bed..." and so on and so forth. My eye lids are drooping when all of a sudden, I can feel the Sun warm on my face. I look up and I can't help but smile, for the Sun is directly shining on me through the beautiful stained glass windows. Everything I had just been mentally complaining about doesn't matter. I feel loved. 

     To put this in "real life" perspective, let's say as a married person, you wake up feeling miserable. All you want is to stay in bed, cuddle up next to your beloved, and go back to sleep, nice and warm. However, you have to get up for work, your beloved is no where to be seen, and you know you can't stay in bed sleeping all day. So, as you begin to drag yourself out of the bed, your beloved surprises you with your morning coffee, perfectly brewed, made just the way you like it with the perfect amount of sugar and creamer in it. With a kiss, he suggests you go out onto the porch to watch the sunrise before the kids get up. You feel loved.

      Or if you're not married, it's as if you are walking through the halls, holding your head down, because you have a test next period and you forget to study. You know you're going to fail because you simply do not understand how to balance those Chemistry equations. Not only that, you forgot your lunch on the bus and you were really excited for that Peanut Butter/Banana sandwich you had packed. Life seems to stink and all you want is a hug. Then, suddenly, someone yells down the hallway: "Hey! Hey you! Yeah you. You're beautiful. Come into my arms. It's free hugs day and I have a hug with your name on it." Slightly weird, but perfect. It's exactly what you need. You feel loved.

      Whenever something really tiny and is, to most people, insignificant, happens, like the simply Sun shining through the window, I feel loved. Because it's those little, tiny moments that seem to me being God whispering over and over in my ear, "I love you. I love you. I love you." And most times, those moments happen when I really need them. Now, as if the Sun warming my face during Mass wasn't enough, I soon after heard the angelic voices of my Sisters surrounding me as they sang. While I love to sing, I love closing my eyes, opening my ears, and smiling, as I just listen to their voices. As a musician, I'm blessed with the ability to listen to group of singers and pick out whose voice is whose and then to listen to them collectively again. I'm blessed to be surrounded literally, in my pew, by some of my favorite voices. Today, our song was both in Spanish and English, and so, of course, I was listening  for one voice in particular. One day, I'm convinced she will notice me leaning toward her just to hear her better (and if she reads this, she'll know my secret...). Today, I couldn't help myself. Not only does she have a beautiful voice, but she has such a wonderful pronunciation of Spanish because she's fluent. With the Sun on my face, and her angelic voice singing to my soul, I felt like I was in Heaven. I literally felt so loved.

       The mornings are my favorite part of any day. I love to watch the Sunrise, to listen to the birds singing, I love hearing the gentle wind blowing through the trees. Sometimes in the morning, when I'm really feeling loved, I'm tempted to dance around back campus like Maria in The Sound of Music. But my favorite part of the mornings, is when I get to go to Mass with my Sisters. Because of my crazy schedule, I don't get to go to Mass with them as much as I would like, and like I said in my post about Teresa of Avila, it takes a toll on my Spiritual Life. When I am with them in Mass, I feel so enriched, so alive, so awake and so loved. Thoreau, one of my all time favorite authors, said in Walden, "Every morning is a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity and I may say, innocence. The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Morning is when I am awake and there is a dawn in me. To be awake is to be alive." I couldn't have said it better myself. How Thoreau put it is exactly how I feel. Being with the Sisters gives me an aliveness I can only experience with them. I am so happy and joyous in both my heart and soul, and really I can't stop smiling. Mass, for me, is a cheerful invitation given to me by both God and by each of my smiling sisters, to join them in a life of simplicity and innocence. And what I would give to be able to join them fully in that lifestyle now. But, I know patience is a virtue and I must wait for God. However, as long as I have those mornings with them, where the Sun shines straight to me and my Sisters are beautifully singing, praising God, I will be alive. I will be alive and awake. And I will keep saying yes to their daily cheerful invitation.