What Is Love? Perhaps Love Is...

"If I should live forever, 

my memories of Love will be

of you."

- "Perhaps Love", John Denver

     When someone tells you that they love you, how do you respond? Do you respond with "thank you?" Or maybe "I love you, too?" Or maybe, you don't respond? The other day I emailed in a panic, Sister Cathy. I said, "Sister, if someone writes me a beautiful love ballad, how do I respond? HELP!" Of course, being the beautiful conversationalist she is, she emailed, "When you come in tomorrow, we'll talk." Today was yesterday's tomorrow. 

     Of course, every conversation must start somewhere, and so I explained the situation. And how I thanked the young gentleman for all the beautiful and kind things he said about me. I also said how sometimes I have to watch when I say I love you to some people. Of course, that's when we started talking about what is love? I'm still thinking of it. I even asked my little sister for some help.

      Children, I am convinced, have all the answers. They always know what to say, when to say it and how to say it, and how to feel true emotion. I called my little Lizzie and upon the first ring, she answered. It was as if she was waiting for me to call. So I asked her a series of questions about love. She said "Love is caring, being nice to one another and helping one another." She knows when people are in love "when they are together and they hold hands." She knows that "God, Jesus and Mary love me. Mommy and Daddy love me. And my sisters, the IHM sisters and other sisters love me." Finally, she said, "They love me because I'm small and cute. Because they hug me and let me help them and they help me. They love me almost as much as I love them." Then she said, "Becky, I'm tired of all the questions. What's the answer?" I couldn't help but smile and laugh as I told her, "You are right." 

      The funny thing is she said nothing about saying "I love you." For her, love is shown by actions. And yet, those three words mean so much in English. Personally, I tell everyone I love them. And while so many people have issues with that, (because how can one truly love everyone??) I do it because it's true. I have found deep within me, a love for everyone. Sister Cathy told me that the young gentleman probably is in love with not just me, but the true goodness and kindness in me. And, of course, the true love that's in me from God. That's when I remember Sister Teri's definition of love. She said, "It's when the Christ in me recognizes the Christ in you." And it's so true. When I say "I love you" I imagine Christ using my voice to tell those I tell, that He loves them. I reflected on this a little during Mass and I realized that sometimes Christ picks people to spread love. I am one of those people, because I can give love so free and easily. 

      When I say "I love you" I mean it but I mean it in the purest sense of those words. In Italian, the phrase for I love you literally means "I want what's best for you." That's what I mean when I say I love you. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I want what's best for my friends, for my family, for my sisters and for those I meet randomly, those who I don't really know, and those I minister to. And yet, I never realize that maybe to some of those young men I am friends with or I minister to, take my "I love you" as something more than emotional, more than me wanting what's best for them. They understand my "I love you" as a forever love in terms of significant others and husbands and wives. And while I cannot stop saying "I love you" because I cannot stop being who I am and who God needs me to be, I can use those moments of sincere love for those "teachable moments" and conversations like what I with Sister Cathy on what is love.

      So, while we're on the topic, what is love for me? What do I consider love? Love is not something that only a man and woman feel for each other. But rather, something that can be felt from anyone for anyone. And true love is this: the willingness to be selfless for the benefit of another. And so, when I say I love you, I mean that I would be willing to do anything for you, to be selfless. It's a love called Agapos in Greek. It's a love so beautifully emulated by Christ, He who literally died for us, for our benefit. I can only wish that everyone could understand this love, but because of our society, love is a word tossed around so frequently. I love you is said more times than it is meant. And unfortunately, love has been so downgraded in society that "we accept only the love we think we deserve" (perks of being a wallflower). What is love, really? In truth, what is it? If you look deep inside your heart and soul, you'll be able to find what true love is. And then, when you realize what it is, you will be able to give and receive it freely!

      And so, I love you, I truly, really do. "Some say love is everything" and that's me. And "Some say they don't know." That might be you. Discover it, find it, love it. And since I love languages and words and you know that so well, I say this to you "S'agapo, didasklos." I love you, teacher, the one who taught me to question my own views of love. And yet, Agapo, is selfless love. Don't forget it, I don't think I tell you enough! Now, for all those who are wondering.......take a listen: