New Year's Resolutions...So Cliche

    New Year's Eve; a night to party, watch fireworks, be with family and...make resolutions. New Year's, as one of my favorite holidays, has always fascinated me. When I was younger, I was never allowed to stay up. But as I got older and started participating in the festivities, I was intrigued at all the traditions and history. Did you know that Christians used to celebrate New Year's Eve on Christmas Eve? And then later they moved it to March 25, the Annunciation? Did you know that in many countries, people don't exchange gifts until New Year's Eve as a symbol of abundance for the new year? And how about this one: People won't eat meat that used to fly, like Turkey or Chicken, because your luck supposedly flies out the window with it. In the US, a big tradition is the New Year's Kiss. Now, apparently, it's not just for all those romantics but rather for everyone. A simple kiss on the cheek to your loved ones symbolizes purity and love for the new year. And all along, I thought it was just another excuse from Grandmom to hug and kiss all her grandkids. And then finally, there's New Year's Resolutions. They stem from a Christian tradition of evening Mass where the congregation would state their prayers for the New Year. I wonder if all those celebrities know they are promoting the church? Ha ha. No, but seriously, that makes sense to me. As Christians, Catholics, we so often pray to God for good things to happen. And so, in curiosity, I googled what the top ten New Year Resolutions were...to see if maybe I could use them as my New Year's Eve prayer. This is what I found:

                         1. Drink Less Alcohol (too bad I'm only 19...oh darn)

                         2. Eat Healthy Food (ok, ok...good idea.)

                         3. Get A Better Education (too bad I'm already in College)

                         4. Get A Better Job (but I like working for the nuns)

                         5. Get Fit and Lose Weight (I like my body image, thank you)

                         6. Manage Debt and Stress (thanks, Sally Mae, for managing my debt into a million monthly payments; thank you, Sisters, for helping me manage stress with retreats)

                         7. Quit Smoking (too bad I don't smoke)

                         8. Take A Trip (Woohoo Jamaica and New Orleans!)

                         9. Volunteer More (Woohoo Jamaica and New Orleans!)

     Ok, so these didn't really help me. So, during Mass this morning, I conjured up my own list of resolutions:

                         1. Ask God for the chances to use my gifts and to use them for the sole benefit of others.

                         2. Ask God for the stamina to work hard this semester.

                         3. Spend more time with God in Adoration. 

                         4. Ask God for the opportunities to bring others closer to Him.

                         5. Ask God for the strength to never judge a book by its cover so that I may serve the Jesus in every person.

                         6. Ask God for to opportunities to practice gentility, humility, and patience (be less bold and sassy)

                         7. Ask God for the opportunities to serve my family and those I love.

                         8. Ask God for the protection or and opportunities to serve all people, especially the unborn, the less fortunate, the outcast and the hopeless.

                         9. Ask God for the opportunities to spread happiness and joy.

                                                                   And Finally

                        10. Ask God for the patience in waiting for His word to continue my Vocation journey and  the opportunities to serve Him now according to that vocation. 

  

     Now, how's that for a list? Here's to a blessed New Year for you, your family and your loved ones :) 

We Are Family

Current Facebook Status: Can't wait to make pancakes with my AE for Holy Family Day.
Current Tweet: Blogging it up about the Holy Family #yourhomeismyhome

   I have decided that there is no better way to celebrate a feast day than with the community who celebrates it. I've done it on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and now, on the Feast of the Holy Family. It just so happened that the sister who runs a summer retreat program every year (this year, I got to help!), invited us all back for the Feast; Mass and visiting and Breakfast. And so, at 8:30 I found myself en route to the convent; a drive I don't have to think about; my heart just takes me there.
   As I walked into the Chapel where we spent every morning of our retreat, even as a student helper-outer, so many memories came flooding back. Especially of our last day when tears streamed down my face after knowing in my heart that this is where I belonged; among this family. As the sisters prayed and I knelt listening to their voices, I recalled those moments of pure comfort. I joined those memories with thoughts of the Holy Family. Mary, Joseph and Jesus; all they had were each other. When I'm with the sisters; all I have is them. I don't have any worries, no anxieties, nothing at all. They are my family.
    My reflection on the Holy Family continued with Father's homily during which he said, "Just as Mary, Joseph and Jesus had themselves as family, we must take each one of our sisters as family. We must feel like family here." And yes, as tears built up in my eyes, I knew; these sisters are my family. I am treated like family; like the little sister. And no matter what part of the community I visit, I feel loved like family.
   After Mass, we went upstairs to visit the older sisters who can not necessarily join us for Mass whether from age or sickness. We sang Christmas carols for them which made my heart leap for joy. I hadn't sung in a while and when one of my favorite sisters requested my favorite Christmas song, I almost cried. I sang for her with my friends and the other sisters with us with all my hear. Seeing the sisters smile at our quick little visits was enough for me to know, once again, how perfect I felt there.
    After Mass and visiting, the sisters and the other girls and I went over to make breakfast which consisted of the most deluxe pancake bar I had ever seen. There was fruit, chocolate chips, cinnamon, sugar. You name it, we put it in our pancakes. As we cooked and worked together, it was easy for me to imagine what it would be like five, ten, twenty years down the line cooking together with these sisters and with the girls that I taught in school. It was easy to feel right at home and among family.
    The whole spent celebrating the Feast with the sisters was so perfect. While it was a smaller celebration for us, it was still a celebration of the family we have become and the family I've made with the sisters. And so, as I reflect on the HOLY FAMILY, I am grateful and ever blessed for the holy family I have among me. How many more years, AE?

I Know My Call...

"I know my call despite my faults, and despite my growing fears. But I will hold on hope. I'll find strength in pain. I'll know my name as it's called again."

- Mumford and Sons

     As I walked up the front steps in just my wool sweater, I thought, the first thing I'll hear when I walk through the door is, "Where is your coat, young lady?" And as the front door swung open without my having to ring the bell, what was I greeted with but, "Where is your coat, young lady?" I couldn't help but laugh. No, I wasn't visiting my Mommom; I was visiting my nun. Yep, she's pretty much my grandmother. 

     Walking up the front steps was nothing new for me; It's something I've been doing for about five years and it never ceases to bring such a happy smile to my face. This was a place I called home so many times. And even as we prepared lunch in the kitchen, the sisters said, "You know where things belong better than we do sometimes." It's true, that kitchen is my favorite place in the whole house. I've often said that the best discernment is done in the kitchen, by cooking, eating and cleaning with each other; the sisters seem to satisfy that desire of mine. It might have to do with my Italian heritage, but I simply find the best conversation is done over a meal. Anyway, today, I was home. 

    My nun, my best friend, my dearest sister, my mama penguin, all of the above and more, invited me over (finally) for a long chat and lunch. Oh how I've missed her. It was our chance to finally catch up after so many months. Even though when I visit my high school, I see her, I don't get the chance to catch up and so, there was a lot of catching up to do. I told her all that had happened, all that was happening and all that should be happening. And she did the same for me!! Of course, then we had lunch together at my favorite table. 

    You see, there's the kitchen and then there's the dining room. I love the dining room, but the kitchen is my favorite. There's a little table in there that supposedly seats four, but really, however many you want. No matter what time of day you walk into the kitchen there is always someone at the table and always coffee in the pot. It's the congregating place of the house and without a doubt, there's always a small nun party going on. And that's exactly what we walked into; a nun party. We had lunch with so many sisters who came in and out, and it was just like home. People coming and going and eating and cooking and talking and washing and drying. Sitting around the table, I felt right at home; like I belonged. When I looked down, I half expected myself to be wearing a habit, it felt so perfect. 

    After lunch, me and my nun when to the Chapel, not only to pray, but to clean! I was so excited to be cleaning Chapel, that the sisters must have thought there was something wrong with me. But truthfully, back in High School, I would catch my nun every Friday cleaning, and I would sneak in to pray until she asked me to help her. It became such a ritual and it's part of the reason she and I became so close. You see, she was the first sister I ever told I was thinking about being a sister. And from that moment during my Sophomore year, she quietly prayed for and encouraged me. She never once pressured me into choosing a lifestyle, but rather opened my eyes to her lifestyle.   I spent more time with her talking about my fears and joys and dreams than I had with any other sister. She was the reason I started visiting the convent and she's the reason I keep coming back. While she wasn't the first nun in my life, she is certainly the most influential. Truly, if it wasn't for her, I'd still be trembling in fear of the very idea of entering religious life. I never would have explored the vocation, or be nearly as outspoken about it as I am now. She is the type of sister we all look back to; the sister who opened our eyes and ears to the call. There are so many sisters I know now because of her, and while she is probably reading this now, humbly thinking, not me, it's all true. Many say they don't know where they would be without a certain person, but I know where I'd be; not here and not nearly as close to God. And even though she doesn't know this, sometimes when I want to give up on this vocation and tell God, the deal is over, I think of her smile and her joy and think, "Yeah, that's the life I want." Because "I know my call despite my faults, and despite my growing fears. But I will hold on hope. I'll find strength in pain. I'll know my name as it's called again." And she is my hope. 

A Glimpse Into The Future

    Hanging out with your high school principal while you're a student is weird. Hanging out with her after you've graduated; even weirder. Except for me. Over the summer, during some renovations of my high school, all the sisters moved out and into various different convents in the area. My high school principal just happened to move into my favorite convent and the one I happen to be the most comfortable in. It's the house where I truly feel like family, in a real home. And when she moved in, even though I had already graduated a year, I wasn't sure how we were both going to adjust.
    The thing is, Sister and I were close. She always called me, "Becca, my love," and had no problem giving me random responsibilities around the school. She was even on my Kairos. We were close, but never in the sense that she knew about my vocation. I mean, she knew, but we NEVER talked about it. I had her read my college essay that was all about my vocation, but nothing else was ever mentioned about it. But at the house she lives in now, the sisters are ALWAYS talking about how they can't wait til I live with them for real, or am their sister, fo sho. And so, I wondered and wondered how it would be.
    Even though I had visited so many times since she moved in, we never all really hung out. Most of the time, I would be over for dinner and she wasn't home yet from school, or we would be watching a movie and we'd all pass out on the chairs that just suck you in. Tonight, however, we hung out and it was a glimpse of my future for show.
    The sisters always joke that my family is so used to visiting the convent with me that it will be no transition when I actually join. Tonight, we called up the sisters to see who wanted to go Christmas light looking. One of the sisters automatically said YES! And so we went, picked her up and went on our way. When we got back to the convent, of course, we were invited in for hot cocoa and that's when the party started. My family is so comfortable with the sisters that it's scary sometimes. But my dad right away starts conversation with the sister closest to him, my littlest sister is running around playing tag or hide and seek and me? Well, I'm there in the kitchen pulling out all the ingredients for hot chocolate since I know that kitchen better than the sisters themselves. Finally, we were all seated around the kitchen table, the sisters, my dad, my little sister and me, drinking hot chocolate. We were laughing, sharing stories, singing, tossing napkins and marshmallows and so much more. I sat there, watching the moment before me thinking, that truly that's how I imagine my future except with one difference: I'll be in a habit, too. I imagined my family visiting with the sisters and all of us, just sitting around the table, like one big family. It felt like perfection.
    At the end of the night, I hugged all the sisters good-bye, saving my principal for last. She gave me the best hug you could ever imagine, saying, "Good-night, Becca, my love. I love you, my sister." Yeah, now I know I'm part of the family.

Let's Go Fly A Kite...

    My first thought when I walked (well, really it was ran because I was late for work by five minutes), was, it's a perfect day to fly kites. Now, the everyday college student wouldn't fly a kite on campus on their day off, but for me and my friends, we do it all the time. A few months ago, I bought two kites off Amazon for the sole purpose of creating spectacles and new trends. And so, because I now had kites in my possession, I decided, for the third time this year, we were going to fly them today. 

   Now, the wind here was gustier than the average wind on the noble, holy hill, which was great for instant air. We were testing out the new spool of string that gives 500 feet of distance when I handed the kite over to an amateur kite flyer. Every so often I would hear him freak out about how he didn't know what to do and I simply told him to let it roll out. Finally, he got the hang of it. When I looked up after trying to get the other kite in the air, the kite was flying straight over the building. Our other friend casually mentioned, "If that kite gets stuck in Mary's halo, I'm running away." I agreed. Any tomfoolery with Mary on the dome is like a mortal sin. Instant expulsion or instant graduation, I'm not too sure. But anyway, we laughed it off. 

   Next thing I know, our friend with the 500 feet of string is freaking out. The kite just dipped behind the other side of the building. So, I took it and started rolling it back in. But then, it got stuck. Stuck on what? We couldn't tell. It was on the other side of the building. So, he ran around the building to find it stuck on the tree, NOT Mary's halo (PRAISE GOD!). So after fighting with it and fighting with it, we decided to just cut the string and let the little kite remain perched up in the tree while the string remains draped over the roof of Villa East. Within minutes the news spread and we have officially made history. Now let's hope that our President doesn't find out it was us.....

    It made me think though, how does this apply to my life? It's like Adam and Eve were the kite and the string was the connection to God. However, at the fall (getting stuck in the tree), they cut themselves off from God who held the spool. While we aren't puppets or kites on strings that God maneuvers according to His desire, we so often cut ourselves off the spool. We cut ourselves off the lifeline to God. All because got stuck in a tree. I'm hoping that next time I get stuck in a tree, I'll remember my metaphor and remember not to cut the string but instead allow God to keep pulling at me until I untangle from the branches. 

Christmas Week, Carol Night, and Cotillion, OH MY!

    There is nothing more that I love than tradition. OK, well maybe traditions with nuns. Christmas has always been a time of tradition in my family; however, not the same traditions. When I was little we had the tradition of going to the convent for Christmas Eve Mass (I'm bringing that back this year!) and then going to my Dad's parents' house Christmas Day. Now, it's Mass at my own parish on Christmas Eve and my Mom's brother's house the day after. The few traditions that have stayed are decorating the Christmas tree with each other (they wait for me to come home from school) and going to downtown Philadelphia to see Dicken's village, the Christmas Light Show, and the Christmas Villages. Last year, however, we started a new tradition: Carol Night. 

     Now what is that, you ask? It's a night when the Chorale and all the students at our school gather in the rotunda around the Christmas tree that reaches to the second floor. Family and friends are welcome, too, as well as all the sisters from EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! We all sing Christmas Carols, we pray together, and there is a procession of the Baby Jesus from the Chapel to His Manger in front of the tree. It is one of the most beautiful and longest standing traditions we have at school. I love it. This year, my Dad and my littlest sis came to visit and I could hear her voice from the floor above me. She could see me directly and was sending my hand signals and mouthing words to me during the whole performance. The best part is that I understood everything she was trying to say. Our connection is deeper than that of sisters; she is my soulmate. 

     After Carol Night, the next tradition in Christmas Week is Cotillion. It is the semi-formal winter ball and almost everyone comes out for it. Since my class (the class of 2014) was running the show, I got roped into helping set up for one more thing. It was beautiful, I must say. With lights and arts and crafts and snowflakes and mistletoe and streamers, it brought so much excitement to my heart. All the girls got ready in my room in a cloud of perfume, hairspray and Christmas music while the boys simply threw on the shirts and ties and were good to go. We had a ball, dancing our night away until it came time for us to stand back and watch the rest of our schoolmates embarrass themselves slightly. 

    And now, onto finals week. Here's to hoping we all survive! 

Let It Be, Let It Be, Let It Be...Done to Me

     This day in history: John Lennon was shot in 1980; in 1660, the first women to ever appear on stage in England performs in Othello; and Uzbekistan celebrates its Constitution day. However, there is one more extremely important thing that happened this day in history....decades and decades ago: Mary, Most Holy Mama of the Church, was conceived WITHOUT SIN! WOAH! She is the only person ever to be born without the stain of original sin and thus, we celebrate her goodness on December 8, every. single. year.

    When I was little, the feast of the Immaculate Conception was just another Holy Day. But then I went to college and realized how big a deal this day is. She is my school's patron as well as the sisters' patron. Feast Day is celebrated every year with a HUGE mass and then a HUGE feast in the cafeteria. AND there are no classes for the day; everyone has off, including faculty. And so, it ensures that everyone can celebrate!

     Last year, I was one of three members of the choir who sang for Mass. This year, there were nine of us and it was so beautiful. Words cannot explain how much my heart is lifted during this ONE TIME that I get to sing for the "piano nun." She doesn't play at our Sunday Masses and if I never went to daily Mass, I would never hear her play. You have to understand how accomplished this woman is. She plays the piano, the organ, is on numerous Liturgical Music boards and is simply amazing. She is a doctor of music and it is more than an honor to sing for her. It is even MORE of an honor to have her ask you to solo and then tell you how great of a job you did. Ah, that was what happened yesterday. She knows my FAVORITE composition of the Alleluia (only TRUE liturigical musician geeks can say that!) is the Weston Priory AND, we used it yesterday. Not only that, but she asked me to intone it. I was floating on High Heaven's cloud. 

     During Mass, my most favorite part is when the Sisters renew their vows. All of the sisters (and that's a :

lot) stand while we, the congregation, kneel. They say together, "Almighty and eternal God, I, Sister...., renew and confirm with all my heart, the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience, which I made at my profession, and I implore your grace to accomplish them perfectly. May my life be one of faithful love, may it reflect my total dependence on you, may my will be Your will alone. In the imitation of Jesus and Mary, I make my prayer forever. Amen." Imagine how my heart was beating!!!!!! To hear those words and to know that someday I might say them at my final profession and a hundred times after truly brought tears to my eyes! God is so good. 

    After Mass, my friends and I, among the sisters (who were also floating on clouds of happiness), dined at the great feast of delicious foods. My day was then followed by a nap, a date with one of the sisters, work and homework. Oh I can't forget A Year Without A Santa Claus (yes, we watched it.) and ending the night by tweeting the Magnificat back and forth with one of the sisters over Twitter, then skyping her after I facebook chatted her until one am. Needless to say, my day in Honor of Mary was spectacular and SO REAL in the life of a college student. 

Letters to Santa Claus

     My current Facebook status: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good in Biology class...watching cats on Youtube and blogging." I would be lying if I said I was doing our assignment. Truthfully, I should be looking up energy information and animal species for Niger for my final project. But what I'm really doing is ... ok diversion, I actually went back to working on my project because I knew I wouldn't have time to do it at any other time. So now, after class, here I am finishing my blog post for the day.

     My observation group and I, let's just say we're close. We're so close that we go to every extreme to take awkward observation group photos with Santa to give to our favorite nun on campus, who we have deemed the Sister Snowflake 2011. Honestly, I love my observation group so much. We like to joke around and say that one day they'll start a sitcom about us. Something along the lines of "Always Sunny In Philadelphia" but instead call it, "It's Always Rainy on Thursdays," because it rains every single Thursday we are out on observations for education! Yeah, we're a bit crazy, but these people are some of my closest friends.

     When we went to visit Santa, he wasn't as confused as we expected him to be. Actually, after we took the picture, he chatted with us for a good twenty minutes encouraging us to come back every year to get a picture with him to create a memory book of who we are friends with and where we are in our lives. We were talking about our futures with Santa and told him how we will all be teachers. Jokingly my friend said that they would have to fly me in from Haiti so I could be in the picture with my habit. I told him, I'll probably actually be in the city teaching in my school that I established OR in Ghana. But I don't want to jinx anything like Sr. Luke did in A Nun's Story. Santa told us that these are the memories we will remember the most; not stressing out over tests and exams but going out just to get a picture and grab some lunch. And he's right. These are the people who promise that they will come pick me up from whichever convent I wind up in to take me out for lunch and a Santa picture. There was talk the other day about seeing the Easter Bunny, too. But I think that might be pushing it! Oh, such is the life of a college student discerning to be a religious sister!

Are you SURE you want to be a High School Teacher?

    Let's set the scene: all girls' elementary academy, main office. Characters: Four Secondary Education Majors and a an overenthusiastic secretary. Question posed: Who wants to be in the Kindergarten classroom?
   That is exactly what we all walked into yesterday morning for our last Thursday of observations this semester. After observing in numerous grade schools and high schools, each one of my observation friends confirmed that elementary ed is not for them. Except, I had some seconds thoughts. I absolutely LOVE little kids, especially when I can teach them about God (I'm a Theology minor, you know). So, guess who volunteered for the sake of the children to observe the Kindergarten class? ME!
    I walked into the classroom, dressed in my business attire and heels. Had I known I would be in the Kindergarten room, I would have worn pants and flats. But alas, God gives us all blessings when we least expect them. And so, we headed to pick up our lovely children from the gym and join them in prayer. It was so great. Finally, we were in the classroom. The first lesson was a Spanish lesson and I simply observed the girls as they learned, studying each girl's personality and knowing which ones would automatically claim me as their best friend. Right away, I spotted a little girl who could easily be described as a "problem" child. However, there was more to her than originally meets the eye. She had a LOT of depth. She was observant but bored. Spanish wasn't her favorite thing. As I sat with her during the next activity, I realized that she is the type of girl I was when I was younger. I wasn't labeled as a problem child but I barely spoke (HUGE shocker, I know) when I was in the classroom. Although I was very smart, I was more interested in helping the teacher or writing or watching. My biggest thing was that I cared A LOT and I wanted to uplift people and make them happy. This little one did that for me. As soon as I walked in, she complimented me and hugged me and sat next to me and held my hand and helped me out. She was so precious.
    As the lesson went on, the girls "showed off" for me their skills of reading the "at" family (eg. words like fat, cat, rat, that..) and then we did some group work. The teacher was great in asking me to help lead a small group flash card study. YES! OF COURSE! I had a group of four girls and we talked about the words on the card, what sound their first letter made and anything relative to that picture. We laughed a good deal, and the girls we ultimately beyond that level of smart. Two girls tried to fool me about their names, but I fooled them in return.
    After the lesson, we headed to snack. I really didn't want to leave the girls who immediately took a liking to me. On our way down to the cafeteria, one of the girls took my hand and told one of the sisters that I was her new best friend and she loved me a lot. I almost cried. They all fought over who got to sit next to me and I promised to sit at every table. Then as I was leaving, their teacher asked the girls to say good bye and with a goodbye, God bless you, they did. The teacher asked me if I was sure about teaching high school girls, and while I said, I am sure, I decided that I'm going back to school for a double cert in secondary and elementary.
   I used to visit my little sisters Kindergarten class every day I had off in high school and being at the girls' academy, I was reminded of how much I love the little ones so much. I love the way they learn and teach me and play. Thank goodness the teacher asked me to come back anytime. I told the girls, as I left, that I was so proud of them for helping me learn so well to be a good teacher and that I couldn't wait to come back and visit with them! God is so good!