"In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep
falls upon men while slumbering on their beds,
He opens the ears of men and seals their instruction."
- Job 33: 15
It all started with the moon. If you hadn't noticed, I'm in love with taking pictures. I love photography. When I was out on my photographic journey the other day, I accidentally stumbled upon the moon. I didn't realize how perfectly clear the crevices in the moon appeared until I zoomed all the way in. Wow! How beautiful! Since then, I've been slightly obsessed with capturing the moon from behind my lens. The above photo is one of my favorites that I captured in quite a unique way:
We were coming home from the baptism via way of the PA Turnpike. My dad was driving a little over seventy miles per hour. I looked up into the sky and saw it: the moon. Once again, the moon had met me half way. So I yelled into the backseat to ask my sister if she could weasel my camera out of my backpack that had already been packed for school. When I got the camera, I rolled down the window, unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned out of the car window. Ok, I admit it probably wasn't the smartest or brightest idea I ever had, but look at the results. I felt the cold penetrating every open pore in my body, my nose, my eyes, my ears, my face. And my fingers were just about frozen. Finally, I crawled back inside the car only to find my dad and little sisters laughing hysterically. Ironically enough, my dad didn't reprimand me for doing something slightly stupid like hanging out of the car window, but rather he was laughing. He told me he wished he could have taken a picture of my face in the wind. He wasn't surprised at my little adventure, in fact later when I was begging him to "chase the sunset" so I could get a picture, he fed the spirit of adventure in my soul. Essentially, my dad and I share that same spirit. Regardless, I got the moon pictures and I couldn't have been happier.
Hours later, when I finally got the chance to lay down in my bed and fall asleep (ask my roommate about that one...), I began to dream quite vividly. While I had been busy taking moon pictures out the car window, my friend Karly asked me if there was a rule about how many times a person can receive the Eucharist in one day. I told her that Canon Law says no more than twice a day. I told her that one sister in my life told me that if I am serving the Lord at Mass and must go to more than two Masses, Jesus would rather I connect my soul to Him via the Eucharist all of those times. And I told her that one sister told me that if we truly understood what the Eucharist was, once, during our whole life time, would be enough. In my dreams, I began to gather answers from various people about the Eucharist and this Canon Law rule. Here's the final scene of my dream:
I see Sister Marcille in the distance and I run to her. I say, "Sister..the Eucharist?" And she answers, somehow knowing exactly what I wanted to know or maybe...what I needed to hear. She draped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me close as if telling me something only I could hear or maybe....only I would understand. She pointed to the Tabernacle, then to the moon in the distance (because apparently in my dream, we have tabernacles on campus outside....) and then pointed to my heart. As she spoke, I got smaller and smaller, digressing into a younger self. "If you, Becca dear, and I, really, truly, understood what the Eucharist was. If we really understood that Jesus was there, that we were consuming His flesh and blood, once upon our tongues would be enough. All the love and fascination you have with the clarity and details of the moon, would be one hundred times more for the love of Christ. If you and I understood the Eucharist, it would be like you finally touching the moon with your bare hands. You would never have to touch the moon again, because that moment will have had overcome your heart and soul so much. But for now, since it is humanely impossible to grasp the Eucharist, we will simply take pictures of it, like you do the moon, until the day when we can finally touch Jesus. Does that answer your question?" In my tears, I shook my head yes. When my alarm went off a few moments later, I still had tears in my eyes.
You see, Sister Marcille and I have had this conversation before. However, there was definitely NOT that much lyrical poetry and beautiful metaphors in her answer the first time. I was in awe. When I headed down the stairs to chapel for Mass, I stopped on one of the landings to examine why on earth there was a cherry picker hanging out in the courtyard. As I watched, the same sister who had been in my dream was now walking down the stairs behind me. I greeted her with a smile and she did the same. In our pre-Mass conversation, I told her she was in my dream. Without giving her much detail she said, "Beware of the dangers of the mind at sleep." I laughed, in truth our dreams do tell us so much about ourselves. I am actually a firm believer in that. However, I also do believe that God visits us in our dreams. Some would say it was because I had been taking pictures of the moon and reading poetry by Pablo Neruda right before I fell asleep. And some would say there was a reason behind Sister being in my dream and even the part about me digressing into a younger age. But really, this time, I think it's because I needed to hear/dream something so beautiful about my beloved Eucharist, something I've truly taken for granted as of late. I needed to hear words of sheer poetry, I needed to hear beauty. So thanks God. Thanks for giving me what I need, and thanks for sending me an angel in my dream! If you ever read this, Sister, thanks! Thanks for being His instrument in real life and in dreams! So, until I can finally touch the moon, I'll just keep taking pictures of it's beauty!
P.S. I think Sister Marcille might have been a "Yay" Baby when she was younger. She gets it.
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